Sunday, July 31, 2011

Christmas In July



What's wrong with celebrating Christmas In July?
Every summer when I was a little Greek girl I would battle my sisters for supremacy of the blanket forts that we made around the house. The winner would get the other sister's allowances and then be able to go on a special shopping trip with mom. The losers had to stay home and only wished they could have been named the BFQ - Blanket Fort Queen.
It was one of those stupid made up games that we all played as children that meant the world to us as we were playing them. I do remember going back and forth each time on the rules... like any Greek girl's hair style, they were also always changing.
We played the game a few times each summer. The game rules were supposed to be simple. You had to make a fort using only the blankets from your own bed. You were allowed to use other props to accessorize, like dining room chairs, coat rack, garbage cans, pots and pans or anything else that wasn't nailed down in the house - Except Mom's Tupperware - Holy Hannah, I made that mistake one year and made a mental note in my still developing noggin - If you wanna live to be able to grow up to be a rock star, then never ever touch Mom's Tupperware again!! Lesson learned.
Good thing Child Protective Services never stopped by for a surprise visit during a game of Blanket Fort, by the Aston girls. Otherwise, CPS might have thought that our parents made us live in make shift structures all over the house.  But luckily that never happened.
Eventually we all quit playing the game because, not to brag or anything, but I would always win. (Woot Woot)  There was no way I was rigging the game because our Mom was always the judge. Each time, as if she had been trained by Martha Stewart personally, Mom would go from fort to fort and give a tour of each. Talking about the highlights of each fort.
Maybe it was to foreshadow things to come, but I remember I always had a little hand-made sign on the outside of my fort that said, "Mom, please remove your sneakers before entering!"  and then once inside I had a plate of cookies waiting for her. Mom must have liked the little brown-nosing, because as I said - I was crowned BFQ  game after game.
But something would happen when Mom and I would go on our special shopping trip. I would feel horrible. I felt really bad that I had taken my sister's allowance and was going to spend it on myself. So I never did. I always would tell my Mom that I had an idea. I said I wanted to use my money and buy my sisters something.  Mom would always say, "Oh Ava, that is such a great idea!" She had that same response every time, as if it was something new popping in my noggin.
I mostly bought candy for my sisters. But having multiple allowances worth of money in my jean pockets, I was able to buy lots of it. When I went home I would gather the losers, I mean
my sisters in my winning fort and distribute the candy.  My sister Marie once said, it was like Christmas in July.  Indeed it was. Even as a youngster I always knew it felt much better to give than to receive. What I didn't know then was that Mom always picked my fort as the winning fort because she knew that I would always share the the winnings with my sisters.
So as we wind down the month of July I just want to shout out to everyone, Merry Christmas (in July)! Now go do something nice for someone else.
Blessings,
Ava
xox

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Gremlins 4



They're Baa-aack! Gremlins are back in iPhone 4!
Coming This Fall only to an iPhone 4 Near You!  This fall Steve Jobs and Steven Spielberg have joined forces to bring you the ultimate in entertainment pleasure where random Gremlins will be placed inside your iPhone 4.  Watch as your iPhone 4 decides to have a mind all of it's own.  You wake up after midnight and think it's really still early enough for that midnight snack.  Then when you least expect it your iPhone has cocooned and turned into an Android.  AAAAAAARGGGGHHH!  The horror.  Thus leaving you a victim of the evil Steve duo and their trickery to get you to buy the all new iPhone 5 (pre-loaded of course with Steven Spielberg's trailer for "Welcome Home ET" starring Drew Barrymore!)
Okay now, seriously Steve Jobs, enough of the games what's up with my iPhone 4? This is my 3rd one and it's worse than my last one.  No, you can't blame it on my technology force-field either.  I admit I do have one and it does cause some muckery to ensue around me from time to time but this is just a bit too much.
See, it all started waaaaaay back when, with my my very first iPhone, and lets not forget I got rid of my blackberry because I just "had" to have an iPhone, duh.  At first I began to think it was me and my inability to adapt to technology or my little fingers that have a hard time doing as they are told when I am typing.  Then I got smart and started asking and of course doing some Google and Youtube video searches about people just like me.  I found I was part of a small niche community of Apple fans who were willing to face chastisement by openly admitting I was unhappy with my iPhone. I felt like a second class citizen in a 12-step program (no I haven't been to one).
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
What I really want to know is either there are Gremlins, or little demons who have taken up residence and are living inside of it.  Is it just me or is anyone else out there having to make frequent trips to the apple store (which are such a joy I might add, as on my last trip seemed as though it was a playground not an electronics store)?  Only to have the "Genius" tell me, "It is very odd the things you are describing, but just for good measure and because you are still under warranty that I'll go ahead and replace it."   Between the lines, what that really means is they are giving you a previously mucked up iphone that someone else had to get rid of because it had little demons inside it - it was sent back to apple land to be made all better (supposedly)....
Then slowly by surely I began to come to terms with this dilema and realized I was really one of millions of dissatified customers.  That was when all of a sudden a Cherub flew in from on high and a golden voice carried from afar off spoke and claimed "iPhone 3G will be coming soon".  Quickly I went to replace my 2-time replaced iPhone Original for the all new 3G and was again... let down.  Then repeat scenario when I went from the iPhone 3G to the 3GS then on to the iPhone 4.
So what was a girl left to do?
Now I must be left to my own divises and wait.  Wait.  Wait, until the day comes that I have the iPhone 5 in my grabby little palms.  Just whatever you do, do n0t feed any of your iPhone's  after midnight or you might end up staring down the face of a little Gremlin, I mean Genius.
Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xo

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Addicted to Addiction



Amy Winehouse 1983-2011
So I was eating lunch today and a friend who was with me ever so overly chipper says (in almost a celebratory tone), "So did you hear Amy Winehouse joined the 27 club?" I'm like "joined what, 27 what? How could she join a club, I thought she died?"... My friend looks at me as if I were dumb as a bag of rocks, then she replies "Yes she is and she also joined the 27 club, I'm surprised you of all people don't know what that is".  Then miss book of information proceeded to tell me what the 27 club was.  As dumbfounded as I was, I just had to come home and look it up for myself to see it in black and white.  Because honestly it just didn't make sense to me that anyone in their right mind would make up such a thing.  Warning Warning, this is when my filter was removed.
According to wikipedia "the 27 Club" consists of notable rock musicians who have all passed away in their 27th year.  In particular Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison & Kurt Cobain.  All of whom have some sort of controversy surrounding their deaths, all except Joplin that is... The "27 club" or the "Forever 27 club" also consists of other musicians who also died at age 27... (I for one want to live to be at least 107) and Amy Winehouse is the latest artist in this tragic string of coincidences...  Coincidence?  I think not.  Now don't go getting your pantaloons all in a bind.  But really, honestly what human being on the face of the planet living in a civilized nation mind you - does not at one time or another in his or her lifetime get the memo that as Mr. Mackey from my favorite show Southpark would say "Drugs are bad... mmkay".
Those of you who have been reading my blog a while know by now that I think our body is a miracle.  A miracle you should not abuse, period.  Of course I can understand that people have problems, no one unless you are Beaver Cleaver has had or ever will have a perfect childhood or life.  However turning to drugs is simply not the answer.  How could anyone with even a smidge of a brain cell in his or her noggin take drugs?  You know they are addictive, you know it is for sure going to cause a whole lot of muckery for you and for everyone around you, so WHY? Why - I ask?
Honestly can you imagine what music we missed because artists like the above mentioned tragically left this world so young? Personally I think it is very sad.  Sad that so many misguided people think it is OK to abuse and promote the fact that they take drugs.  I mean Lady Gaga stated in an interview that she smokes pot in order to help her be creative when writing songs?... Really? .... Really, come on, if you have to smoke a doobie to write a good song, then guess what, maybe you are not such a good songwriter afterall, and maybe you should possibly pay a good songwriter to do that for you.  So you don't:
A. give the impression to about a zillion of your fans that you think doing drugs is ok..
B. to be able to stay alive and continue living your dream of being an artist.
As for me....  I am happy to say that all I'm addicted to is coffee, and endorphins (God's medicine).  Yes that may sound all goodie two shoes and all but that's just how I roll. No matter what happens to you ever, there is no reason to turn to drugs, period.  Life is just not that bad no matter who you are or where you come from or what has happened to you.  Life is a gift, you should be treasuring & cherishing it.  Drugs are not the answer.  If you are naive enough to think it won't happen to you, think again.  Maybe go to wikipedia and take along hard look at the list of gifted musicians who left this world far too soon.  No one is immune to the danger they posses.  Moments like todays lunch just reinforce for me the importance of what kind of an impact I make on people not only with my music, but in how I live my life.
All I have to say is that is is a sincere shame that Amy Winehouse & the rest of the 27 club left this world so soon and that they were not able to make the music that we all wish we would have heard.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Captain America



Captain America... or Captain whatever doesn't offend anyone that is ;D
Well if you're like me and you love movies, you know that Captain America opened yesterday.  Yes shocking I know, the Greek Blonde Girl is a sucker for a superhero flick. I mean what's not to love?  Action, suspense, some good old fashioned butt kicking, the little guy finishing first and getting the girl.  Hey sounds like a fun flick to me.
The only thing that irks me just a smidge is that some foreign countries have opted to take "America" out of the title?.... Uh hello.... That is just ridiculous. Seriously. Here's an idea: If you are that offended by the word "America" then just don't watch the movie. In my noggin, that is like deciding you don't want to call Sushi Sushi because you have some problem with Japan, it's nonsense.  The comic book story for Captain America put out by Marvel Comics has been around a long time, (according to wikipedia since 1941) and I'm pretty sure the people who have read and enjoyed it don't really give a flying flip if the word America is in the title.  So what gives?  Apparently Russia, Ukraine, and South Korea opted to take "America" out of the title in order to sell more tickets... hmmm....  I think it's more a matter of some foreign government authorities having a teeny little chance to put their thumb in America's eye. It's seems more like a dig to me really. Honestly, and I think it's just silly.
A classic is a classic, and in my little world and noggin you just don't mess with things when they are good.  Like the old saying goes, "If it ain't broke don't fix it".  Last I noticed the whole series was doing pretty well, therefore didn't need any fixing.  The main character is a nice guy who is interested in doing good, and yes I know it is not a flag waving film, but by taking "America" out of the title just as so not to "offend" some people, I think it just mucks it up.  It takes away part of the essence of the film.  I mean in the story he is transformed into the superhero because of the American Military... It's silly to scrub that just to appease some people.
The bottom line is: You can't please everyone all of the time, that would be like if I changed a song every time someone did not get it or connect with it. Silly....  Why would I even try to do that? All you can do is do your best and forget the rest.  Put your work out there and let people take it for what it is, period.  Either they are going to get it , like it, or not get it, hate it, who cares really?  I mean of course we as artists all want everyone to love our work and love us, but the reality is ~ that is not the case. Not everyone is going to like us or like what we do and in the end it just doesn't matter.  All you can do is make the art that makes your heart happy.  As long as you are true to your souls expression, that is all that matters.  As for me, I'm not ever going to sensor my songs for a foreign release.  It's just not who I am.
Have a beautiful blessed day!
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Celebrity Matchmakers



Ava the Diva and Eric Cartman - Love at first site
It's simple really.  We all want, need and crave to love and be loved.  Everyone of us, no matter how big, small, short or tall ~ it's a fact of life.  Yes, even if that person you love is animated...  No I don't mean like Charlie Sheen either where everything they do is overboard and extreme.  What I mean is more like Eric Cartman from Southpark.  He is my one true love.  Anyone who really knows me knows this about me, that I have a crush on the little round fat-head.  What can I say, just the thought of him makes me smile.
The one thing I actually do collect is Southpark stuff, in particular Cartman stuff...  My mom has a birthday cake custom made for me every year in the shape of Cartman. I have a Cartman tattoo on my ankle, about five Cartman dolls, a watch, autographed photos from the creators Matt Parker & Trey Stone, a painting that was made for me of all of the southpark characters... hmm let me see what else?  I have pajamas, t shirts, cards, DVD's, oh gosh... a lot of Cartman stuff lets just put it that way.
Yes I know, he has a potty mouth (disclaimer: it's a grown up cartoon ~ I never said it was a show for kids people).  Sure he eats bad.  Okay he is perpetually stuck in elementary school and I know he does still live with his mom.  Not unlike lots of guys out there...  at least this one makes me laugh.  ;D
So, knowing I can't literally be with the little animated bugger, so I guess the next best thing would be to set him up with none other than "Ava the Diva".  So here are a few questions asked before they actually meet and go on their first date:
1. What draws you to Eric Cartman?
Well, obviously the artist ;o)  But otherwise I really like his cute voice and round face.
2. Why should Cartman choose you to be his girlfriend?
Because I am cute, he loves to sing and I have him tattooed on my ankle.  We are perfect for each other.
3. You love to workout and he loves to eat cheesy poofs.  Is this a conflict for you?
Like they say opposites attract.  He can be my yin and I can be his yang.
4. Where would you want Eric to take you out to eat on your first date together?
The lunchroom duh!  I would love to meet all his friends especially Chef!
5. What adventure would you want to go on with Cartman as his girlfriend?
I would want him to be my partner on "The Amazing Race" so we can travel the world together.  We can explore caverns, leap from tall buildings, race through traffic and win a lot of moola.
In the end, I know no matter what Eric Cartman and Ava the Diva would be a true Celebrity Match made in Heaven.  By the way, if you haven't seen Ava the Diva yet go check her out on my Youtube channel.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xo

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Why Do Old People Expose Themselves

Note to Naked Old People... guidelines for speedo wearing see above.

So my two sisters come into town to visit me over the weekend. Despite the fact that three Greek Girls under one roof is crazy enough, imagine how it is when one of them decides "Hey, we should go to the beach". HELLO... can we say "Muckery Central?..." Sure it's all fun and games until we get there and see an 85 yr. old man in a speedo (and we're not talking about the Jack Lalane type either, and no it wasn't Mr. Bricks ~ Thank you God). This subconsciously leads us all to begin wondering if we look good in a bikini or not? Now of course you can stop asking because yes we do, but it's just a default chip programmed in every girls brain. Greek girls have two of these chips - one for each side.... one for the Baklava and one for the spinach pie - just sayin.

On with the story.... besides the fact that my one sister's psychotic dog, (yes I did say psychotic people, it was actually eating the wall while we were gone) was at home unattended terrorizing my own four fur-kids. Oh to be a fly on the wall at the doggie party... So there we were, sitting there all comfy, blanket down, snacks and iced happiness ready to go, chairs properly positioned to bake ourselves into a golden spender (yes we were wearing sunscreen - no it wasn't olive oil - or made from olive oil extract) and BAM there it goes again. But this time it wasn't a man it was a woman.... wearing a thong bikini old enough to be my grama and lets just say on the very heavy side, she could have been on the senior version of the Biggest Looser ~ just sayin. So just as we blink... we happen to notice that she has not one but two tattoos larger than my head on each side of her butt. No I'm not kidding people. Then comes the highlight of the day: its' a toss up between the super skinny swimmer guy who decides he's gonna take a shower and expose himself in the public sprayer to remove the sand or.... the woman who dove into the water and had both boobs flop out of her top and proceed to act like nothing was wrong. No guys it was not Gisele Bundchen.

Now I'm not saying I don't love old people nor appreciate them, because I do. I adore my yaya and my grama in heaven, and I even sang for nursing homes after classes when I was in high school :D However... What is it about some older people who do not seem to get it that it is not kosher to wear less than Lady Gaga on the beach. I know they say less is more, and this is most often the case, but not so much when you have not kept away father time by taking excellent care of your miracle body like Jack Lalane. Anyone who knows me knows how much I adored the guy and if you are old and you look like that, be my guest wear what you want.

In the words of one of my other fitness hero's Tony Horton "Aging Schmaging, you can get all old and crotchety, or you can be in shape." I donno about you, but I'm going for the latter. Thus my working out like a machine.

Have a blessed day & don't forget the sunblock!

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox
www.avaaston.com

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Little Miracles

It's the LIttle things...

Kids say the darndest things, and they also say some very profound things. For those of you out there scratching your head (no the Greek girl does not, I repeat does Not have any kiddies, well except for my fur-babies). I am however fortunate enough to have some insanely adorable and very smart nieces & nephews.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of spending a few hours with my sister from Kansas & her family. Their three kids are really some of the most cute, smart, and honestly sweet kids I have ever met. I know kids are a result of the parenting, but I am always so blown away by how smart and sensitive these kids are whenever I am lucky enough to spend time with them since they live in the middle of the country. (note to tour manager - schedule more stops in KS please...) ;D Back to my point, well since I don't have kids, it always makes me laugh when I am around any the things that they say.

So yesterday being the super fun auntie that I am, I suggested we all go for ice cream, because we all know that ice cream = F~U~N! We all had just got our choices in our hot little hands about to indulge when my niece "Eva the Diva" (who is looks very much like a mini me btw, as her mom my sister and I look very similar as well) So Eva blurts out,"Ice Cream is a Miracle." Needless to say we all got quite a laugh from it. Here are just some of the few nuggets I have heard from the kiddies:

"So what happens if you put your foot in the toilet when you flush it?"

Walking into an air conditioned house from outside "Oh my Gosh this is Great"

Referring to new sparkle shoes "Like my new shoes?... They make dreams come true"

"Look mom I did my own make-up"

Laying out his new shirt for school "Well... now all the girls will be attracted to me"

Funny at the time, but when little Diva made her statement about Ice Cream being a miracle... it made me stop and think about what we all as individuals consider a miracle. As the saying goes "One mans trash is another mans treasure". What one person sees as a miracle, may be viewed as a mess to another person. For me, my little miracles are quite simple really. Being able to spend time with friends and family that I cherish, my health, savoring the amazing beauty in nature on a long run, pushing past limits, loving my doggies, and of course making my favorite souls expression - music. There is nothing I enjoy on this earth more than being able to create a great song that people can connect with and where I can express what I'm feeling. Of course performing that song or any song that really makes my heart happy is a Miracle to me.

So my thought for the day... whatever your little miracles may be, from Ice Cream to creating Art - embrace them, experience them, but whatever you do don't forget them. Because they are what make you, you.

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox

www.avaaston.com

Saturday, July 16, 2011

All In A Days Work



It’s Saturday Morning Cartoon Time with Ava The Diva and Mr. Bricks.
Watch as Ava uses her time wisely in this funny segment of “A Day in the Life of Ava the Diva”

Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xo

www.avaaston.com

Friday, July 15, 2011

Harry Potter



Everything Must Come to an End.
Unless you have been living under a rock like the guy in the GIECO commercial (and if you don't know what GIECO commercial I'm talking about then you really do live under a rock), Harry Potter is coming to an end tomorrow.  Cue the somber violin music... I must admit I did watch the first and second installments, then after that I kind of lost track. Hey I'm just being honest :D
When I saw the previews for this new one I realized I just had to run to Blockbuster and rent the entire installment of movies I have not seen. Then I could have an all-day/night movie marathon.  Of course I would have to do it with a troth of popcorn (Orville Redenbacker's Lite Popcorn of course) and a case of Go-Go flavored Vitamin Water zero, a pot of coffee for the late showings and a bag of peanut butter M&M's.  Now of course I have yet to do this. Why? Well procrastination of course.
Regardless, the fact that this movie represents an end to not just a series or a group of characters but an actual end to an era.  We have spent the last decade+ watching these characters quite literally grow up.  This brings me to something of what I call an "Ava The Greek Philosopher Aston Moment."  As we draw to the end of this era and this series it reminds me how important and powerful endings can be.  Sometimes in life like in films we have two types of endings: The Hollywood ending and the Independent Filmmaker ending.  The Hollywood ending is the one where the Hero gets the girl and saves the day as they all ride of in the sunset.  The Independent filmmaker leaves the audience wondering what the hell just happened and why did the dog have to die?  My point as abstract as it is, is that we can choose to embrace an ending or reject it.  So often we want to re-write the ending of those films and we can't.  Other times we wish our story had ended just as was on the big screen, but it didn't.  The great thing is that we have the ability to change our endings.
Okay, here's my point: We don't know how Harry Potter will end, until we watch it.  The great thing is when it's written well enough we as an audience can continue dreaming up what will happen even though the credits roll.  So just like in life we sometimes accept the so-called "ending" in a situation, a season, a time, a job or even a relationship at it's face value.  I mean unless you are playing my music - that is what the repeat button is for, just sayin'.
So next time you find yourself facing down some evil warlock and all that stands between you and your destiny is a little magical stick, you have the ability to choose how you embrace the ending.  Just don't leave the audience wondering, "what the heck just happened?"
Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xo

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Art of Collaboration



My producer Damien & I goofing around while collaborating on a new song.
Aside from my daily dose of caffeine in my hot cup of happiness whether it be Dunkins, Starbucks, Micky-D's or even the homemade Nespresso there are very few things that really make my heart skip a beat and get me moving. Sure life is full of surprises and exciting situations like finding $200 on the floor at the local Dollar Store (true story) or getting surprised when a friend you haven't seen in years shows up at your door.  Yeah, these are some pretty great moments, but they just aren't the same as what I am talking about.
What I am talking about is as an Artist.  See what a lot of people don't realize about being an artist regardless of your craft whether it's dancing, singing, writing, acting or painting - the road to success can be very daunting.  Life as an artist can be very challenging and a struggle.  But hey, this Greek blonde girl loves a good challenge!  Sure what we see on TV is the success and all the glitz and glory but the road to that level of success is one not for the faint of heart and one very few can ever traverse.  So as one of these artists who knows all too well what it means to have to fight for what you believe in, the everyday surprises and excitement sometimes just aren't enough to really make your heart skip that beat.
Here's what I mean: there are those obvious ones like getting to perform in front of an audience or signing a contract.  Having someone recognize you for the first time on the street or ask for your autograph.  But above it all there is one thing I find more rewarding than anything most would think to be that "heart-skipping" moment.
Now I know what you must be thinking, "How is that not the heart-skipping moment? I would give anything to be on a stage in front of people."  And yes I understand that.  Yes, nothing compares to standing on the hardwood floors of Madison Square Garden to sing your nations anthem or to have fans asking for an autograph and picture.  But still there is one thing that really rises above it all; the successful art of collaboration.
Yep, the successful art of collaboration.  I know it may not make sense at first but there is something so much more profound in the experience of being a part of a collaborative effort focused on your career.  It is so essential in order to have a strong network of support around any artist and their craft.  At the heart of that network is where everything happens.  Together we cram our brains, share our hearts and dream the dreams that we only wish we can make a reality.  It's in those moments where strokes of genius make the heart skip a beat.  These are the moments where we as a "team" collectively envision making something out of nothing and rely on one another to build on the dream and build each other up in order to make it happen.
Because of these moments we can sit back and watch our success of a concert tour, a CD release or a new music video come to fruition.  But it's all for not if you don't have the right people and team all excited and working toward the same goal.  It's in those moments where dreams become reality and my heart skips a beat.
Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xo

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Green M&M's



Who doesn't like green M&M's anyway? She's so cute.

So we have all heard about some nightmare "ryders" for the latest rock act or diva to hit the stage.  You know with all their silly demands like, "I must have green m&m's or everything but green m&m's."  Or one of my favorites, "I have to have organic white lotus' in three locations of the room."  Then you have the others that require Pop Tarts and a toaster to be available.  But of all the crazy ones I have heard is something about how the limo driver cannot look at so-and-so in the rearview mirror or even make eye-contact.
My question is, "are you serious?"
Note to rockstars: Hello people, we are all "people" and therefore your need to be difficult is just plain silly.  I'm just sayin'.  Sure it's nice to be on tour and have some perks.  But there is a line between having some nice or special stuff you need to put on a good show... then there is the need to be totally and utterly ridiculous.
The obvious question is that there must be something that must go into the Greek Blonde Girls dressing room and her ryder.  Well yes of course there are, but they won't break the bank, put someone out in the rain or cause some media tabloid conspiracy.  That is of course unless you think my obsession with coffee is a kin to a drug habit, then ok I'll give you that :)
So I decided to list my demands in no particular order of importance (whatever randomly comes into my greek noggin):
1. Vitamin Water Zero / Go-Go and Glow flavors allowed.
2. Ghiradelli caramel squares and/or Peanut M&M's (all colors allowed no discrimination here).
3. An outlet near the mirror so I can blowdry my hair. (nothing worse than seeing me trying to find an outlet before  a show.)
4. A door on the bathroom stall - even if I am the only one who is in the dressing room.
5. A soft bed for my Pekingese to snuggle up on, (must be big enough for at least 2 of them).
6. A mirror, so I can put my makeup on before I hit the stage. (I'm a big girl I can do my own makeup thank you very much, that is unless it's really important).
7. Coffee.  Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds or even 8 O'Clock coffee will do, as long as it's hot and fresh I am good to go. (you can't exactly import diner coffee all the time, just sayin.)
8. Wireless access - self explanatory. (of course I have to write my next day's blog and tweet about all my muckery.)
9. Zone Bars.  They're my favorite snack and are perfectly balanced to keep you in the "zone" for 3 hours.  Perfect before a show.  I eat them all the time and they come in Yummo flavors.
10. A pillow and blanket to rest my head in case Mr. Bricks gets long winded and puts me to sleep about his stories from days of old.
So there you have it.  The Greek Girls top 10 items for the Ryder.  So when I come to your town to do a show you will know just how I roll.
Have a beautiful and blessed day!
Blessings,
Ava xo

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Collectible Junk



Derek Jeter swings for the fences for 3000th hit.
Do you ever have that itching sensation when you visit some peoples homes?  You know when your skin crawls at the sight of the inch of dust that collects on top of their valuable collection of collectibles?  Or when everywhere you look it's like a museum of creepy porcelain clowns that look like a horror film? Or the 100 framed pictures of Derek Jeter and all of his baseball cards and magazine covers?  Yeah, me too.  There is just something so wrong with the "need" to collect this junk.
Call me the Anti-Horder or whatever you wish but this Greek Girl and her touch of OCD "Offended by Collections Disorder" is about to clean house on some people.  Have you ever seen that commercial where the woman grabs hold of the Swiffer duster thingy and starts cleaning her friends house? Yeah? Well that's me.  I cannot stand it when stuff sits and collects dust on so-called priceless artifacts shrouded in plastic or behind a glass case.  What is the point anyway?  Why have the stuff if you aren't ever going to use it?
Don't get me wrong, I get the point that some people enjoy doing this kind of thing and it's a pastime for a lot of Americans to collect things.  At least if you are going to do it, make sure it's not offensive and blatantly the only thing you decorate with.  I can see it now after Derek Jeter's 3000th hit this weekend, Mr. Bricks will start sleeping with NY Yankee bedsheets.  Oh wait, my mental eyes are burning!!! Ahh what was I thinking?!? That was a terrible image I can never replay in my precious Greek noggin.
Now okay, amazing as it is, I get that if you caught Jeter's 3000th hit you could add it to some collection and let it sit on the wall of your home and show everyone who comes over, or you could have sold it to some other sucker for $250k and then stick your thumb in your buddies eye.  But who in their right mind would pay for that ball? It's just a ball and all it would do is just sit on a wall and collect dust anyway.
I know what you're thinking, "Come on Ava, there must be something you collect?" I admit, I have two collections:
1. My money and it's kept in the bank.  It's not collecting dust, it collects interest.
2. My ticket stubs from the national anthem's I performed for major sports teams.  Those are kept in the back of the closet in a Tupperware container and have no value accept in the memory they serve me.
Call me guilty but at least they aren't plastering the wall or some creepy collection of dust collecting dolls.  Either way, if you are going to have a collection there have to be some simple rules to avoid crossing over into the "Hoarder Zone".
1.  The collection MUST be of sentimental value and not based on monetary value.  It's not like you can retire off that crap anyway?  That is what a 401k is for.  Unless you can afford buying Picaso's and Monet's but seriously if you could, it would be a tax shelter and not so much of a collection to retire from.
2.  If it collects dust it's not valuable enough and must be either sold, donated or tossed out.  No questions asked.
3.  You don't prominently display it or parade it about when your friends come over.  It's like whenever I hang out with Mr. Bricks he insists on showing me his clown collection It's so bad he sometimes walks around his house in his old face paint and clown shoes. Now that is just down right scary!
4.  It must be simple and it must be able to be put away and kept out of site. No dust collectors allowed (see rule #2).
Well, happy day!
Blessings ~
Ava xo
P/S ~ Rule #5 says, if you collect my music you can collect anything you want even if it collects dust.  (wink-wink) http://www.avaaston.com/store.html

Monday, July 11, 2011

Is Casey Anthony Guilty?



Acquitted. Now let's make this all worth while. Sign petition below.
Last time I checked, although I am Greek, I am still living in America. And the last time I cracked open a Rand-McNally map Orlando, Florida was also still part of the United States of America. So if these two statements are true that should still mean that if someone was acquitted of a crime in O'Town they were judged by a jury of their peers to have been found not guilty of the crime they were charged with.  Furthermore, they are not to be held accountable in a court of law, no matter what other facts there may be.  It is the way our court systems have been working for more than a hundred and fifty years. If you do not like it, move to Iran or Iraq and just pray that you see men and women in green uniforms with the US flag sewn on their shoulders to liberate you and give you some of the same freedoms and democracy we enjoy here. 'Nuff said.
Ok, that is my geography/legal mumbo jumbo disclaimer for the day. Let me get into the meat and potatoes of what I need to get off of my Greek chest.
I remember the OJ verdict. I didn't follow the trial but I do remember seeing the riots and the aftermath of his acquittal. I thought to myself what a crazy thing to do. The fact that the rioting and outcry was actually from many people who agreed with the verdict but used it as an excuse to become lawless and unruly.  How silly is that? I did not follow the Casey Anthony trial so much either - but the reaction to the verdict has been near impossible to miss. I am glad there was not civil unrest with the announcement of the verdict for Casey Anthony. My biggest fear was that riots would have hooligans burning down Cinderella's Castle at Disney World, busting the Aquarium at Sea World trying to set Shamu free or worst yet toppling the giant globe at the front entrance to Universal Studios Florida because that is where Casey said she worked. My googled eye manager Mr. Bricks who has spent the last month in Florida (doing God only knows what) was super concerned that someone would smash up all of the all-you-can eat buffets on International Drive. To him, that would have been the true travesty of justice in this case.
Right or wrong, whether you agree or do not agree with the jury's verdict it is the way 12 people saw the evidence and voted. I have seen reports that all of the alternate jurors also would have voted the exact same way. So clearly as smug as he was Jeff Ashton did a very poor job and spent way too much time trying to make Casey out to be a horrible person. I am thinking perhaps Florida prosecutor Jeff Ashton is a cousin or somehow related to HLN's talking head Nancy Grace...just a hunch. Would someone investigate that for me please?
Ok, keep your pantaloons on and remember according to where we all live (see first paragraph of this blog) everyone is entitled to their opinion and I am just using my constitutional rights and blogging....but what the point of today's blog is, is to say that  something very beautiful has come out of this circus. It is a petition to create a new law that would be called Caylee's Law that will make it a felony for a parent or guardian to not notify law enforcement of a child going missing in a timely manner. It was started by a woman named Michelle Crowder from Oklahoma who was outraged by the verdict and decided to do something about it.  To date more than a million people have gone to change.org and have signed the petition. Now that is using your noggin! If you want to sign the petition you can go there:
Please sign the petition.
Blessings,
Ava
xox

Sunday, July 10, 2011

We Can Put A Man on the Moon But We Can't...


I was watching the news when I saw the last space-shuttle launch taking off as we put an end to this chapter on space research blah blah blah. Then it got me thinking, you know sure we got some great inventions out of it: Dust Buster, Joy Sticks, Wireless Tools and moonwalking. But what bugs me is that with all this knowledge we can put a man on the moon but we can't cure poison ivy, let alone create a cream like bug spray that will stop you from getting it. Sure they make a sprayable poison for it but it's not like that is safe to spray on your skin. What was God thinking anyway when he made this stupid plant? It's not like it is that attractive and I can't imagine it would taste good, so why does it have to be poisonous to the touch? Sure okay fine, put it in the amazon jungle or something if you want to create such a plant, but in my backyard? Hello?!? Talk about a cruel joke. Here Ava, look at the beautiful outdoors. You know you want to come out and play - oh but wait, you will pay for it with a summer of itching. Seriously.

Here are a few other items that occupy the dark damp crevasses of my Greek noggin of things we can't do but yet we can blast a rocket into orbit and send men to the moon:

Did you notice that although there has been women astronauts, NASA never sent a woman to the moon? That's because if they sent women to the moon we would not be out collecting rocks and silly things that the boy astronauts did, we would have been out looking for a spa or the nearest shopping mall, just sayin'

We can put a man on the moon but you can't find any employees to help you find anything you need at Home Depot when you need them.

We can put a man on the moon but you can't get a McDonald's employee to sell you a carmel sundae, because "we don't sell it like that." (read the blog it's hysterical.)

We can put a man on the moon but a cop can't tell if I am a drug-dealer or not because I have "tinted windows" (also a hysterical blog).

We can put a man on the moon but for some strange reason the Kardashians are of the top grossing on TV... and why is this?

We can put a man on the moon but I am constantly having dropped calls in Manhattan on my iPhone; you know a device with more technology in the palm of your hands than all that went into putting a man on the moon. Hello AT&T, what's up with that? Can you hear me now?

We can put a man on the moon but women's pants sizes still make no sense. What is a double zero size anyway? Is that code for anorexic?

We can put a man on the moon but Mr. Bricks can't get me a record deal. So I have two words for my manager Mr. Bricks and his lazy eye, "Call NASA"!

All I am saying is that if we can put a man on the moon there are lots of pretty amazing things we should be doing here on the Earth. You know, things that pertain to Earthly things. So I figure now that NASA is shutting down, maybe we can focus on what really matters, you know peace, world hunger, eradicating the world of bed-bugs and body hair oh and of course getting Ava the Diva to appear on South Park with Cartman and finding a way to get John Rzeznik to produce my next record. Just sayin'.

Have a blessed day and Viva La NASA,

Ava xo

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Here She Comes to Save the Day


It is Saturday Morning Cartoon Time with Ava the Diva and Mr. Bricks. Watch this week as Ava the Diva gets the aide of Cartoon Classic Super-Hero "Wonder Dog" as they set out to save the day when Mr. Bricks get's thrown in Jail. Tune in every Saturday to catch the crazy Antics.

Blessings & Music,
Ava xo

Friday, July 8, 2011

I Can See Clearly Now



Excuse me officer, but does this car look like the vehicle a gangster would be driving, now really?....
Picture this:
"Beep-Beep" goes my keyfob unlocking my blue 5-Speed Jetta.  It sits quietly as I approach it with a gleeful grin & a glint in my eye.  I relish in it's shiny blueness as I clutch my iced cup of happiness in one hand & cling to door handle with the other, I enter.
Once inside I breath in deep the fresh new-car smell.  I just love my new car "Johnny Jetta", (of course if Mr. Bricks would get off of his duff and finally get me a record deal I could go buy my dream car the Bumble Bee Camaro) until then, Johnny Jetta does the job. I insert the key and turn the leather bound steering wheel with a simultaneous press on the clutch.  In it goes, I engage the shift, & in a moments notice I am moving.  I find myself driving in full granny mode (as I always do, because I was in a really bad car crash in high school, ever since then I realized life is too short & a car is not a toy), on a beautiful sunset road.  Goo Goo Dolls, fill my speakers followed by Heart, Rob Thomas, Switchfoot & P.O.D. thanks to my iPod shuffle.  I'm enjoying my favorite time of day, "Magic Hour".  It's industry lingo for that perfect time where everything turns shades of purple and orange from the glowing sunset on the horizon.
Out of nowhere, low and behold wha-wha-what? A cop? Pulling me over? Me? The Greek Girl, I drive like a granny for crying out loud.... Seriously?  Does he not know it's Ava Aston?  Maybe he want's my autograph?  But he can't tell it's me because I have tinted windows for privacy reasons because it keeps the gawkers at bay.
Me: Is there a problem officer?
Officer: License and registration?
Me: What did you pull me over for?  I wasn't doing anything?
Officer: What's with the attitude ma'am?
Me: Excuse me?  You are the one walking up to my car like I am a drug dealer?  I wasn't doing anything wrong?
Officer: I pulled you over because I couldn't see you?
Me: Then how did you pull me over?  Obviously you saw me well enough to pull me over?
Officer: Your windows ma'am?  I couldn't see you through your windows.  They are too dark.
Me: Too dark? And can you please stop calling me ma'am?  I'm not my mom for crying out loud.
Officer: Ma'am.  I am going to ask you to step out of the vehicle.
(Okay, now this is where it get's interesting as my head nearly spins off like the exorcist.)
Me: What? Are you friggin kidding me? I am not getting out of my car!
Officer: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle or I will be forced to arrest you.
Me: Arrest me?!? for what? Because you couldn't see me?  Do you know who I am?
Officer: No and I don't care.  Please step out of the vehicle now ma'am.
(So now I get out.  Oh and by the way, did I mention he called for a backup?  Whatever.)
Officer: I will be right back ma'am.
What the? Now I am out of my car in the hot air with my hair starting to wilt and the smell of diesel trucks overpowering my Chanel "Chance Fresh" perfume I just squirted on me.  There I stood for 15 minutes while this super-cop played the "cool-kid" card.  I am telling you what, nothing bugs me more than a cop with a chip on his shoulder and he had one alright.
Two tickets later for having "tinted windows" I am seeing clearly now.  Apparently there is a law in NYS where Cars, (not SUV's mind you because they are exempt) cars side windows must allow 70% of light in.... Cops must be able to see you and what you are doing inside the car.  Hmmmph.  So I'm wondering... are the police going to come and ask me to take down my curtains in my house now, because they can't see what's going on inside? I don't think this makes any sense. And this my friends is what I like to call an episode of "total muckery"....  just sayin.
Blessings,
Ava  xox