Christmas Muckery

All I want for Christmas is - people to stop acting like the world is going to end!

I know this is "supposed to be" the season of peace, joy, love and giving - yadda, yadda.  Well, for some reason some people in my neck of the woods sure didn't get the memo.  I don't know if it's the economy, Hurricane Sandy or that Obama is still the president and either some people are pissed and others are still high on wacky weed and claiming residency in Colorado but still living here or what.  All I know is that little thing known as "The Christmas Spirit" sure has been missing round here.

What am I talking about?  Well, let's put it this way, I was quite literally accosted the other day while walking into the post office.  Yes you heard me right.  Picture this.  My sweetie drops me off with arms full of packages and cards to be shipped when all of a sudden a guy in a large SUV starts backing up and almost hits our car.  Next thing you know he's jumping out of his car screaming at us and calling me everything under the sun.  For those of you who know me, you'd be proud to know I just sat there and grinned while I waited for my sweetie to come back and join me to get in line.  But then this jerk decided to jump in my face and almost knock me over while calling me the "C" Word.  Then I flipped and had to do something ( I mean he was an inch from my Greek noggin and flailing his arms in the air like he was going to hit me...)  So I kicked him in the shin of course, he had it coming and besides I had to get him away from me.  I mean what in the Heck in the World is wrong with people?!?

All I know is Christmas is not what it used to be.  Sure, I'm not a kid anymore but really, when did Christmas become all about ruining Thanksgiving and starting 24 hour shopping hours before the turkey was even carved?  Don't forget the week-long black friday and cyber monday deals, X-Box lines and Neimen Marcus at Target?  Seriously, this is insane!!  Who in their right mind cares about Neimen Marcus at Target?  Anyone who waited in line overnight to buy a Marc Jacobs glitter purse from Target needs to get their head checked.

It's like you would think the world were coming to an end and they had to get the last deal of their life.  Newsflash - the Mayan's were wrong people!!!  Get over it already.  Life will go on regardless of if you get that Nook or Kindle.  This just begs the question, Where is the fire?  It's like there are a bunch of mind-numb robots on crack driving like they are in a Nascar race in the Target Parking lot.  Which is what caused my mom to blurt out in frustration, "What is with these stupid Christmassholes!?!?"  Which caused me the Greek Girl to choke on my coffee and nearly get in a car accident; yes another one!  That would be the last thing I needed this Christmas.

So this Christmas we are in protest of this nonsense and how chaotic and out of touch everyone is.  Instead of a Christmas wish list and musically choreographed Christmas lights we decided to not put up a tree or do any sort of decorating.  Instead we are just spending time with family and remembering to stay away from the muckery at the malls.  But most of all, we are keeping in mind the most important thing, that JESUS is the "REAL REASON" for the season people.

In the meantime if you want something to help put a smile on your face and break the monotony of the Christmas muckery, here is the "Ava The Diva" Christmas Cartoon episode for your viewing pleasure.

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xo
www.avaaston.com

Is You Husband Having an Affair With Danica Patrick

Has your man come down with "DOTNS"

I will be the first to admit that I think Danica Patrick kicks some major butt, definitely a cool chick in the Greek Girl's book. However what is not cool about Danica Patrick?  The fact that is that she has totally taken over my manager Mr. Bricks brain.  Which is kind of funny because, A. I never thought he had a brain and B. I never thought anything could mean more to him than the McRib sandwich, but it's true.  Bricks has what I like to call "DOTNS" or "Danica on the Noggin Syndrome."  This disease is very new and rare.

What is my problem with this you may be wondering?  Well, aside from the fact that it is hard enough to get the rolly polly dude to stay out of McDonald's long enough to focus on getting me a record deal - now he is all dreamy-eyed (and trust me - that is just weird - with his one lazy eye thing he has going on) about a stock car driver. It's like all he does all day long is mutter to himself, Danica, Danica, Danica....zoom, zoom, zoom. I kinda feel sad for him. I think his noggin finally left the building!

With Danica becoming so popular in NASCAR these days, I'm sure there are many wives and girlfriends out there who may be wondering... "hmmmm - is he?" Well, let me give you a few symptoms to watch out for - just in case you're concerned your man, manager of BFF might be possibly coming down with "DOTNS".

1.  His favorite colors are all of a sudden Bright Green/Black
2.  His favorite number used to be 13, it is now # 10
3.  He traded in his prized Corvette for a Chevy Impala
4.  He used to think NASCAR was just for hicks & hillbillys, now he Tivo's it
5.  He is all of a sudden very concerned about "Peak Brand Antifreeze", "COPD" and "Nationwide Insurance"
6.  He has Danica wallpaper as his desktop screen saver and a Danica mousepad
7.  He renamed his two goldfish Danica and Patrick
8.  He has pulled out his old Nintendo 64 and is playing "Pole Position"
9.  His office has Danica posters covering up Gold records
10.  He just purchased his 15th domain name from godaddy.com, just to get to see Danica's robostamped signature on the receipt

If you have noticed any or all of the above things happening to your man, I'm afraid to say that he most likely has come down with a case of "DOTNS" for which there is no known cure. I guess it could be worse. He could be infatuated with talk show host Larry King.

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox
www.avaaston.com