Why Dancing With The Stars Makes My Brain Bleed

Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke from ABC's "Dancing WIth The Stars"

Dancing with the stars has always made my noggin twitch. No, not the TV series, but really, dancing with the stars. If you saw the blog post headline and were looking for the latest news on which celebrity was just booted off of the ABC reality series "Dancing with The Stars" - sorry wrong blog. My Bad.

I'm talking about the other 
boring
 Dancing With the Stars.... a planetarium show.

When I was just a little Greek girl, my 4th grade class took a field trip to a planetarium. The first 3 minutes were really cool. The next 87 minutes, not so much. In fact it was so boring I think it made my noggin bleed. A planetarium is basically a theatre built by science geeks to present educational and "entertaining" shows about astronomy to little kids who weren't smart enough or didn't know enough not to opt out of that particular field trip.

Thinktank Planetarium, one of the top 10 busiest small
planetariums in the world.
Visit them at http://www.thinktank.ac/planetarium 

The planetarium can simulate the night sky and is great for training in celestial navigation. It is also a really great dark place for high school students to make out. But that's a blog for another day. Besides, I think that's why you only see grade school kids and super old people inside a planetarium, just sayin'. One of the main features of most planetariums, other than holding little kids against their will, is the large dome-shaped projection screen onto which scenes of stars, planets and other celestial objects can be made to appear and move realistically to simulate our complex solar system, galaxies and motions of the heavens.

Ok, Greek Girl where does dancing with the stars come in? Well, on that particular  field trip a few short naps into the boring presentation, and shortly after my 4th grade class mate Cindy Lear peed her pants, they started playing classical music over the sound system. Then some really, really old guy (who I think was the astronomer, Galileo) started giving a presentation by speaking in a monotone voice explaining the locations of the Big Dipper, Sagittarius, Hercules, Orion and other constellations I immediately forgot the names of. This impromptu science lesson might get a little boy an astronomy  merit badge but bored this Greek girl to tears. Then the presenter (aka Galileo) made the kids oh and ah by having a meteor shower dancing on the ceiling with the ease of a Lionel Richie music video.

While all the other wide-eyed kids were soaking up the solar system, this Greek girl was thinking of new lyrics to the Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star melody.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

5 Minutes In My Greek Noggin

Being Ava Aston

I am often told that I am not right in the noggin. Now if this comment was just coming from my manager Mr. Bricks I would dismiss it as monkey see, monkey do. But unfortunately the comment comes from everyone around me including my mom, my dad, my sisters, my best girl friends, my sweetie, the guys in the band and even my 4 dogs. Yes, Pookie, Itty Bitty, boBo and Punkin all give me that , "your coconut is messed up, Mom" look. I can not describe the look they give me, but I know it when I see it.

So, I thought I would record a recent five minute conversation I had with Mr. Bricks and print out the transcription for the world to see. I look at it as therapy for about 1/2 the price. The other 1/2 of what I am saving from a real therapy session I am hanging onto to buy a new pair of sneakers to replace the ones I ruined running in the ocean. Here goes:

AVA: Oh, Mr. Bricks I love those new sweet and salty Zone Bars.  I do like the Trail Mix flavored ones, but not as much as their Cashew Pretzel one. Do you think you could get me an endorsement deal with them? You know I eat about 6 of them a day don't you?  Do they have a celebrity spokesman yet? Oh, Kohls is giving out extra Kohls Cash on Friday. Did you know my Mom is the one who got me shopping at Kohls. My Mom's boyfriend Joe hates shopping at Kohls. I'm hungry. I need to work out. I hate Jillian Michaels, she is the devil I think. I don't really hate her Mr. Bricks, I don't hate anyone. Hate is an ugly word. I actually really like Jillian. Her work outs are kick butt and that is what I like about her. I want to see that new Johnny Depp movie. Do you think you can get me into a movie opposite him? Oh, you know who I really want to be in a movie with?   Christian Bale. He was amazing in The Fighter. I am so glad he finally won an Oscar. I think he was robbed that last couple of times he was nominated. What's up with Ellen DeGeneres? I heard she just signed another 11-year old to a record contract. I guess that is why her label is called Eleven Eleven Records. When will I get a record deal Mr. Bricks? I'm hungry. Vitamin Water. I want a vitamin water. Yummo. I love the stuff. I should get an endorsement deal for Vitamin Water Zero. Oh, you know what Mr. Bricks, I think you need to go see more movies. I need to go workout. I wonder why my Mom hasn't text me yet today. I hope she is OK. I bet it rains today. I just washed my car. Why does it always rain Mr. Bricks when I wash my car. I hate that. Oh, you know what I really don't like? Miracle Whip. That is so gross. It's either real mayonnaise or nothing at all. That's how I roll. I need to work out. I think Abercrombie and Fitch sends the wrong message to young girls. What do you think Mr. Bricks? I do not think I could ever be their spokesperson for that reason. I do like some of their clothes though. I love Super Dry. But I love those ripped jeans I got at the Gap.  I need to get the dogs more food. I'm hungry. Did you know I keep a plastic bag of Ghiradelli chocolates in my refrigerator? Yummo. I should work out. Maybe I should do P90X today. I want a protein shake. You know you should eat healthier Mr. Bricks? Do you know how much sugar is in their McRib sauce? I really want to help kids with Progeria. I want to help every little kid I see. And Dogs. I love dogs. I want to have all of my dogs on the tour bus on my next tour. I'm hungry. Some day I want to run a marathon for charity. Add that to the dossier Mr. Bricks. How far is a marathon? Where is Liechtenstein? That's a funny name for a country. I am going to use that word in a cartoon. I love South Park. Cartman cracks me up. Maybe I should cut my hair. I wonder how many downloads I have on iTunes today? Do you think I should buy a new floor mat for my bath room Mr Bricks? I hate the color pink now. I need to get potatoes. Potatoes are a super food. Hmm, did the mail come yet? I can't whistle. That's odd. Don't you think that is odd Mr. Bricks that I can sing, but I can't whistle? Why did I lose 3 Twitter followers today? I'm hungry. Most breakfast cereal has way too much sugar. I should go for a run before it rains. Is my laundry done yet? So what do you think Mr. Bricks?

Mr. Bricks:  What do I think about what?

See what I mean?

Blessings,

Ava

xox