I See Stupid People

I should hang this outside wherever I go...

Do you ever wonder, "what the heck were they thinking?" or, "I can't believe I just saw what I think I just saw?, did I really just see that..."  Well when you live in and around NYC like this Greek Girl does, sometimes you just lose your filter.  Yep it just flies right out the window.  I find it is nearly impossible sometimes to stop myself from blurting out these kind of questions.  Or having the "inside voice" go rogue on me and say aloud things it probably shouldn't.

Now, I know what you must be thinking to yourself, "I see stupid people everyday.  What is the Greek Blonde girl talking about? It can't be that bad? Can it?"

Yes, oh yes indeed.  It is that bad.

Okay let me explain.  What got me going on this was the other day, I am sitting in the quiet comfort of my VW Jillian Jetta, (the white one if you are keeping track as there are two of them.  The blue one is Johnny Jetta, he is a boy, that day I was in Jillian, she is a girl Jetta and she is a TDI).  By the way anyone else think it is funny that the Greek Girls two car colors together make up the colors of the Greek flag?... ;D  So anyway, there I was readying myself before I had to go into an event at Central Park Zoo.  Well, all seems to be going just fine when I look up and there is a woman, I kid you not, walking down the street talking on the phone.  Now okay, I know this is normal unto itself but she had to go and have some old fashioned rotary shiny gold phone jacked into her iPhone.  It was one of the dumbest and stupidest things I have ever seen.

Quite possibly the most stupid accessory I have ever seen.

I couldn't believe this crap even existed.  So I googled it. Yep you guessed it, they exist and you too can buy one for the low-low price of just $45.  Yep, you can look just like that fool I saw walking down the street on your very own shiny gold rotary handset.  The greatest part is that she thought she looked like the coolest and most 'trendy' person on 5th Avenue.  Now this is besides the fact that I loathe shiny gold, and think it is one of the tackiest things in the world.  Of course the only place I find gold to be acceptable is on the inside of a treasure chest, or gold bullion in my safety deposit box.  There was just simply no excuse for this tacky gold piece of plastic muckery.  The best part was the look she gave me when she walked by & noticed I had burst out laughing inside my car sitting there...

So one of my other all-time favorite stupid people stories is when I went in to a McDonalds no, it wasn't for Mr. Bricks this trip, jut for me. (before they had the McCafe coffee bar mind you) and asked the genius behind the counter if they had iced-coffee, (yeah imagine that, me asking for an iced-coffee).  So anyway, there I was expecting to get a nice iced cup of magic in my hot little hands, and I got nothing.... they looked at me like I asked them to explain the theory of relativity (all well knowing they'd probably explain how their mom and dad were related or one or both parents were in jail.) So anyway, they told me, "nope we don't got iced-coffee." So I asked them, "Do you have coffee?" "Yep", they replied.  "Do you have ice?" "Yep", they replied again.  "Then you have iced-coffee don't you?" "Ah but we can't sell it like that" they tell me.

All I am saying people is if you are gonna do stupid, act stupid or just plain be stupid you should probably wear a sign that reads, "Warning Warning - I may just surprise you with my idiocy".  You just gotta love stupidity.  Sometimes you just have to smile, breathe, laugh, and realize, yes they do walk among us.

Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xox
www.avaaston.com

What If

Einstein is seen here asking, "What if I lick that frozen metal pole?"

"What if...?" A question pondered by all the great Greek philosophers and smart people throughout time, (mostly though they were Greeks who taught others to ask this question.)  Regardless, it's quite the deep thought if you ask me.  The possibilities are endless.  Two words can help cure cancer, inspire greatness, lead to ending hunger or in Mr. Brick's case help decide on if he will wear his circa 1986 high-wasted flare legged white jeans or not.  "What if I wear my white jeans today?" Okay, wait! I gotta stop right there, I just had a mental image that was just really bad for this Greek Girl's noggin. White jeans on Mr. Bricks is like the Pope wearing a speedo or Lady Gaga wearing a turtleneck.  Either way, it's just plain wrong.

Anyway, back to the question at hand.  "What if..?"

It really makes me wonder, "What if Mr. Bricks can actually mentally go deeper than anything other than fastfood?" Here is my impersonation of 5 minutes in the mind of Mr. Bricks as he makes his lunch selection:

"What if McDonald's ever stopped making the McRib?" Would I find a way to survive? "What if McDonald's would make a Green Diet Coke Milkshake?" Maybe I should patent that and sell it to them in exchange for a lifetime of fries.  What if McDonald's joined forces with Slim Jim and made Slim Jim French Fries?" That would be great, then I could have a lifetime of Slim Jim fries of course after I patent that and sell it for a lifetime of McRibs of course.  "What if McDonald's changed the #1 meal deal to be a Double McRib with Slim-Jim fries and a Green Diet Coke Milkshake?"  Then his brain would instantly freeze and he'd become like one of those wax figures in Maddam Tusseau's wax museum. (Side note: no matter how famous I ever get I never want to be embodied in a wax sculpture.  That is by far one of the most creepy things ever invented.)

Okay, like I was saying.  Every great philosopher has always asked "What if?" It is kind of how we get everything around us to be made or invented.  Questions like:

"What if the world were round?" - Columbus 1492

"What if we could travel through time?" - Einstein 1930's (still working on this one)

"What if I could walk on the moon?" - Neil Armstrong 1960

"What if we protest the tax on tea?" - American Patriots 1776

"What makes this apple fall to the ground instead of float away?" - Newton 1500's

"What if we gave peace a chance?" - John Lennon  1969

"What if we could make tasty delivery pizza?" - Papa John 1984

"What if we sell coffee in Styrofoam cups?" - Mr. Donut 1956

Sometimes I ask, "What if Mr. Bricks DID get me a record deal?" Then I would be able to buy all those glorious new sneakers I got my eye on.  Or "What if John Rzeznik from the Goo-Goo Dolls were to produce my next album?" Then I would most definitely have my first, second and third Grammy in no time.  This leads me to ask "What if I do become really famous, will they make one of those creepy wax sculptures of me anyway?" My goodness I hope not.

Have a blessed day,

Ava

xox

PS ~ What if you passed on this blog on to 5 of your best friends?