The Girl Next Door

Ava Aston: Your Greek Girl Next Door

I think I am the perfect girl next door. What person in their right noggin would not want to have this Greek blonde girl as their neighbor? Think of the money you will save on entertainment.  Cable bill too high? No worries, just watch my daily muckery for your amusement! It's much better than anything on TV. You can think of it as your very own neighborhood reality series. Want a pet, but don't want the responsibilities? No worries one of my four escape artist dogs will wander your property too at all hours of the day. Leave the door open, and it's like putting down a bowl of Kibble with their name on it. They will walk right in. Don't worry, I have trained them not to take anything that can't be pawned that doesn't belong to them. But watch out for Punkin, she's got sticky paws, just sayin'.

I've been known to lace up the sneakers and bolt out the door for something at the all-night market if I needed to. My house is the one on the block that seems to almost always have some lights on 24/7. And guess what? They are those old-fashion-invented-by-Thomas-Edison-but-now-throw-me-jail-for-still-using-them light bulbs! So neighbor, if you ever need a cup of sugar come on over, don't worry about the time. But I should warn you that I don't have that real white crap. Who do you think I am? Mr. Bricks? Real sugar rots your teeth and makes your butt big. So as your neighborhood nutritionist, I will load you up with handfuls of those little white and green packets of Truvia and while I am at it, I will give you more than an earful of the harmful effects of sugar on the body. Truvia is a natural sweetener and it is all that I use because it is so much healthier than real raw or processed sugar. And neighbor, please feel free to think of this Greek girl if you are making your little tykes that daily batch of Kraft Mac & Cheese and realize you don't have any milk. Consider me your go-to Greek gal for your last-minute milk needs as well. However, I should fess up, I don't drink/use normal milk either. You're gonna have to accept my lactose free skim milk, Moo Milk or Soy Milk for your little curtain climber's Mac &  Cheese, that's how I roll.

If you happen to be a bachelor or an elderly person living next door to me and you pop a button (from eating too much sugar no doubt) and need some one to sew it back on....don't come knocking on my door, because I don't do needle and thread. For all of my alterations I go to the tailors down the street, run by the cutest older Asian  couple.  (I know, an Asian couple running a tailor's shop in New York, what are the odds?) But they are just like family too me.  The wife always greets me by name and says the same thing every time...."Ava, you so tiny. Why you not eat so much"  Cracks me up. I just adore them.

This is just a little glimpse into what it would be like to live next door to this Greek blonde girl. I promise never a dull moment! I do travel a lot, so it's not like I'd be a female Eddie Haskell or anything.

So, won't you be my neighbor?

Blessings,

Ava

xox

How Many Blondes Does It Take To Write A Blog?

Ava Aston:  Greek Blonde Recording Artist & Blogger

Yesterday after posting the picture of me and the UFO, I was sent the following blonde joke:

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Hardy, har, har.  Somewhere along the line blonde girls became the butt of jokes. I know, because I have heard them all. I decided to tackle this subject matter and get to the bottom of it. So, consider me the newly self-appointed Greek Blonde Czar.

It all can be traced back to the year 1775.  In 1775 in Europe there was a play titled, Les curiosites de la Foire that satirized a French court socialite Rosalie Duthie, who had a habit of pausing a long time before speaking, appearing not only stupid but literally dumb (you know, like deaf, dumb and unable to speak) From that came the term Dumb Blonde.

So you guys out there  have some splainin' to do because you can't have it both ways - just sayin'. Throughout time, blonde haired women have been considered attractive and desirable. OK, so you guys like us blondes. I guess so and that is where  the saying, blondes have more fun comes from. Not sure I have ever heard someone say, "Gingers have more fun" --again, just sayin.'

But on the other hand when you guys are in the locker room, out on the golf course or out drinking with your buddies you start talking smack about us blonde chicks. Saying things like we are as dumb as a rock, or that we make little use of our own brain cells or my all time favorite... How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. She just stands there, holding the bulb, and the whole world revolves around her.  It is funny because considering most blondes are not "true blondes", who is the one using brain cells in making a statement like that? Just because a girl has blonde hair does not mean she is a bimbo. The notion that blondes are less serious-minded and less intelligent than brunettes, is reflected in all of those blonde jokes you can find all over the internet. Example:

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Some people don't think I am really Greek because I am blonde haired and blue-eyed. Hello, who founded Greece and most of Europe - Vikings and other Scandinavians. The Vikings also inhabited Scotland and they also invaded England from France. So all sorts of Muckery happened in the gene pool in Europe when that happened. As a result though, blonde hair has been considered attractive for long periods of time in various European cultures, particularly when coupled with blue eyes. This perception is exploited in pop culture and also in advertising throughout the world.

No one took more advantage of the stereotype of the blonde than actress Marilyn Monroe. In Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Marilyn explored the ideas of a blonde woman's appeal. In the film Marilyn played the blonde and actress Jane Russell played her wise brunette friend. The Encyclopedia of Hair describes Monroe's role as that of "a fragile woman who relied rather on her looks rather than on intelligence - what some people refer to as a  'dumb blonde'.  And when she was once asked why she pretends to be dumb, she answers that men prefer her this way. Pop singer Madonna emulated Marilyn Monroe in the early part of her music career. In fact her third tour was called the Blonde Ambition Tour.

In many films they cast a blonde actress to play a stereotypical "dumb blondes" role. Goldie Hawn nails that type of role every time. In the TV series Three's Company the blonde girl  Chrissy (originally played by Suzanne Somers) was dumb, while the brunette Janet played by Joyce DeWitt was smart.

Here's another Dumb Blonde Joke:

How to keep a dumb blonde occupied for hours:
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In my career I am going against type casting where the blonde is dumb and the brunette is smart. See, I am the one with blonde hair and the smart one and my manger Mr. Bricks is the dumb one with brunette hair....well the few hairs that are left on his head. So for the record, I may be blonde -- but I am also smart!

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Image of Ava Aston copyright © 2011 Ava Aston. All Rights Reserved.