Step Away From The Coffee Cup

                                                       Ava Aston                        Getty Images © 2011

Of course I'm smiling in this photo, I have a cup of coffee in my hands. The photo was snapped of me as I walked back to my car after getting my morning cup of coffee yesterday. I think the photographer was waiting for me. For those of you who are daily readers of my blog, you might remember the time I sent my manager Mr. Bricks undercover at this Dunkin' Doughnuts location to find out what other people thought of me. The blog was called Undercover Boss.  You can read that blog post here. I must admit, I thought it turned out pretty funny.

I love, love, LOVE coffee. I seriously think I should check myself into the hospital and have an MRI done on my noggin. I highly suspect that caffeine is running through my veins and that coffee is my blood type. I know it is silly that I am powerless over a freshly brewed cup of happiness, but I am and I admit it. I did try to check myself into a Coffee Drinkers Anonymous but they kicked me out. Apparently, they are called 12 steps, and not 12 cups!! Hey, I just thought I was working the program. Personally I have always thought coffee as one of the major food groups anyway.

So, I showed Mr. Bricks this photo of me that was taken and he said I look hypnotized by the coffee aroma. He said my eyes looked glazed over. That was coming from a dude with a lazy eye. Then Mr. Bricks asked if I got him a glazed doughnut? His eyes are going to be glazed over when I smash a dozen glazed doughnuts into his noggin some day. He is not right I tell you.

Did you know Mr. Bricks doesn't even like coffee? In fact he doesn't like any hot liquids, which includes teas, coffees, soups, gravy's  and most sauces. When I was interviewing managers I should have asked him the question, "Do you drink coffee?" But I didn't, because I thought all normal people drink coffee....but then again there is nothing normal about Mr. Bricks.

Did you also know that in some prisons coffee is the currency for the inmates because they are not allowed to have real money while they are locked up in the big house? When they go to the canteen or the "store" as they call it, they buy bags of instant coffee and then repackage it into little baggies of individual serving amounts. That is what they use to pay other inmates to get tattoos, buy cigarettes, homemade liquor and any other illegal drugs that they want, but can't buy at the "store." I know all of this because I am Greek and smart...and because I watched an episode of "Hard Time"on the National Geographic channel. When I started watching the show I thought it was a co-ed prison because there were guys and girls in the same cells. But as I looked closer I realized those guys....ummm, they were girls. In this case it wasn't Dude looks like a Lady it was Lady looks like a Dude - just sayin'.

Seriously, I couldn't handle being locked up like that. But if I ever was... it's nice to know at least I could still get my coffee!

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Hold It Against Me

In 3rd grade I told a classmate that he had a pig nose. Thanks to Facebook, my big fat Greek mouth is coming back to haunt me.

I was just checking my Facebook wall and I noticed I had a message. Innocent enough. When I clicked on the message button I did not recognize the name of the sender. Again, no alarm bells there. I have more than 9,000 "likes" and I can't possibly know everyone who sends me email. But when I started reading the email it suddenly took and entirely different tone than most of my fan mail. From the very first sentence it just sounded different.  It said:

Dear Ava, you probably don't remember me but we went to grade school together....

Ok, I just knew it was not going to be your average fan letter. That turns out to be an understatement for sure. The letter went on...

I thought you were the cutest girl in school. I had a crush on you. Did you know that?

Ummm, noooo I did not know that or if I did at the time it has fallen out of my Greek noggin since then. Besides, if I remember right in the 3rd grade I was more interested in My Little Pony than I was in boys. This is where my long lost Romeo's email takes a nose dive (no pun intended) ...

Well one day while we were playing on the monkey bars at recess and since my nose was kinda square in shape you asked me why did I have a "pig nose?" Although you were just a curious kid asking an innocent question, other kids overheard the question and soon it became a nickname that stuck with me all through school. I never forgot that comment Ava.

Oh great I thought. As an 8-year old little girl I ruined some 8-year old boy's life forever!!! My heart sank and I truly felt horrible. When I was in school we called it teasing. Now it is called bullying. And it is a crime. No matter what you call it as I sat there and read the rest of the email I couldn't help but think I was an 8-year-old who should have had a rap sheet. I was horrified. The email went on...

I was looking on Facebook with my wife and coincidentally I noticed that my wife had someone named Ava Aston on her friend's list. That gave my brain a memory jolt. I knew I had heard that name before.  Can you believe you and my wife are Facebook friends? Small world isn't it? I had not seen or heard your name in years. So I decided to look over the profile to make sure it was the same Ava Aston. Of course it was. I must say, I am impressed. You've done good Ava. Geez, a Rockstar? Who knew?

Ok, now I was starting to sweat more than Elmer Fudd at a back yard barbecue. I seriously was thinking this man must hate me for my comment.  He then added,

You don't know this but to this day that is still my nickname, although it has been shortened to just PN (short for Pig Nose) and many of my friends call me that instead of my real name. And yes Ava, it is a nickname I have grown to love because even my wife uses it as a pet name for me. So if you were ever wondering, No I don't hold it against you!!

Ok, wheeew...I feel so much better now. It's not that I have ever lost any sleep or really given much thought over the years to that pig nose question on the monkey bars. But whenever I would see a story on the news about a kid getting bullied at school, I did think about it. Not that I was the school yard bully or that I taunted him with the nickname or anything. It was just a simple nickname that all of the kids at school called him. We went to different middle schools, so I lost track of him. But thanks to Mark Zuckerberg...

I am actually very glad my old friend found me on Facebook. Even if he was mad and had held it against me, it would have give me the opportunity to apologize (which I still did.)  But since he was not mad at all, it was actually a real blessing to learn that the nickname was now a real part of his identity. Sometimes you just never know how a story is going to end up. I am glad this one had a happy ending.

Blessings,

Ava

xox