My Big Fat Greek Hall Pass

I haven't seen the new Farrelly brothers comedy starring Owen Wilson that opened recently at the theaters. From the trailers I saw on YouTube it looks pretty funny. I guess others agree because it has done pretty well at the box office so far. It was #1 on opening day with $4.6 million, and initial estimates showed it at #2 for that weekend behind Gnomeo and Juliet, but Gnomeo and Juliet was overestimated and brought down to #2, putting Hall Pass in first.

The plot has two married best friends Rick and Fred played by Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis respectfully, who have a have a lot in common. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness of their marriages at home, their wives played by Jenna Fischer and Christina Applegate take a bold approach to revitalizing their individual marriages: granting them a "hall pass" one week of freedom to do whatever they want... no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations are out of sync with reality.

Now, the Greek girl does not approve of granting a "hall pass" in real life as it was granted in the movie to get out of a commitment like a marriage (even for one week), but  I think at certain times there does need to be a "hall pass" granted to get someone out of other tricky situations. In my quest to make the world a better place, I have made another very important self-appointment and named myself Hall Pass Czar.

With all of the powers invested in me as the Hall Pass Czar I have compiled a list from the top of my Greek noggin of situations and people I would grant a hall pass to get them out of a current situation for one week, no questions asked.

• Everyone who is still getting snow - Old Man Winter it's March. Hello. Go Away.
• The people in Japan - earth quakes and tsunami's are not good. I have a lot of fans in Japan and my prayers are with all of them, their families and everyone else effected by these tragedies.
• Girls who have boyfriends or husbands who are drooling the closer it gets to the March Madness tournament. I honestly thought March Madness was a special 30% off sale at Kohl's because that would truly be March Madness in my coconut.
• To Charlie Sheen. Charlie I will even grant you an extended hall pass -- go take a couple of months and get clean and sober, if not for yourself for your kids. Winner.
• I would give my manager Mr. Bricks a hall pass to go buck nutty (but not all Charlie Sheen)  and enjoy himself without worrying about  me for one week. But after the week, his butt better be back in the salt mines working on getting me a record deal -just sayin'
• I would give the entire Kardashian clan a hall pass to normalcy.
• Justin Bieber would get a hall pass into the future and then back again so he could see what mistakes not to make like so many who have gone before him. I'm pulling for you Bieber.
• I would give Mark Zuckerberg and the entire Facebook design team a hall pass just so they would go on vacation and quit changing things around, if even just for one week. Total muckery.

Maybe I will give myself a hall pass and go see the movie Hall Pass this weekend. It's been a long week and I think it's time for some me time.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

I Bet You Are Addicted to Facebook

A recent new Scottish study reveals that Facebook addiction is being compared to a gambling addiction. I find this odd only because I do not think I have ever encountered someone wearing a kilt on Facebook.

The Scottish study is in contrast to a recent study on ABC News that reported that there are no real scientific studies that have been done on Facebook Addiction. However, Dr. James Mol, a psychologist for Providence Behavioral Health said millions of Americans do have some sort of Internet addiction. It appears that a great many noggin doctors have been saying that many of their patients have admitted they have a problem in their coconut with their own inability to step away from the computer.

Social Networking is a fairly new phenomenon and there are currently no universally accepted rules to diagnose an addiction to a social networking site like Facebook. Luckily, this is where the Greek Blonde Girl comes in and saves the day.  As the newly self-appointed Czar of Facebook Addiction I've decided to list a few common, but yet unusual traits to keep in mind if you think you/your friends/lovers/BFF/boss/co-workers/or newly made Facebook friends might have a social networking disease.

1. You are doing your 2011 taxes and spend all day trying to find the proper online form to deduct your Farmville crop loses on Turbo Tax.
2. You spend more of your paycheck buying Facebook cash to play Facebook games than you do buying sneakers in the real world.  That's just wrong.
3. You update your Facebook wall on your cell phone while you are on a public toilet. You are so engrossed in updating your status that you forget to turn off the location feature. No one wants to know that you are in the ladies room at Kohl's updating your status and doing your business at the same time.
4. You list your high score on Bejewled Blitz as a skill on your resume.
5. You search on Facebook for my manager Mr. Bricks' profile so you can add him as a friend and check out the photos of his lazy eye. trust me, it's not a pretty sight.
6. You realize maybe it was a big mistake to try to do some of the same things you do playing Mafia Wars to help you try to get a better table at a restaurant.
7. You know what it means to "pimp your profile."
8. You added a person from your past as a "friend" but really it was to keep an eye on them. Hello people. That's called stalking and there are laws against that!
9. You've seen the movie The Social Network more than once.
10. You look at your Facebook news feed before your morning coffee and you look at Facebook news feed after your evening Vodka.

So, as more and more people become Facebook members this problem is not going away, its only getting worse. So it looks like my job of the Czar of Facebook Addiction  is secure for many years to come.

It should also be noted that Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook or the Winklevoss Twins have not yet commented on the new study.

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Blessings,

Ava

xox

FACEBOOK WILL END ON MARCH 15th!

Facebook to end March 15th!

I saw this website  and I peed my pants.....not at the absurdity of the headlines, but that actual human beings who were typing comments pleading Facebook not to shut down. OMG. For reals people?

Here are a few choice comments left at the site. I had to correct spelling and grammar on some of them just so you could understand the actual comment -just sayin':

• "Don't ever close this website. It's part of my life, dude!!!"
• "After what they know already about all our life?"
• "I hope its not. :S I love Facebook. :S"
• "Life without Facebook will never be the same"
• "Noooooooo plz plz plz don't I love everything about facebook its my life I have a lot of friend btw out of the fb but for example I have 7 friends that are are out of town and they are going to live their forever how can I comunicate with them again just plz plz plz don't close facebook I play games and I chat I do every thing plz don't"
• "Why did u guys decide to close it soooooo soon1 its not fair, pliiiiiiiise don't close facebook, what will my life become without facebook? plise think again! or is that not a joke? please let it be a joke! u cant just close facebook its millions of peoples life what are we suppose o do now? and our friends?"
• "plz dont dlete it plz friend we awlll devided into many parts plz we love each other plz :("  <--- I didn't correct that comment because I have no idea what they were even saying.
• "I think that Facebook is being blackmailed by Twitter"
• "PlesEeeeeeeeeeeee don't shut down fb.......we beg u.....der r people who can't leave without fb.........am 1 of them....if ur agreeing I will buy this siteeee" <--just a hunch, this person can't afford a popsicle let alone buying Facebook.
• "Closing Facebook down? My life will change:("
  
• "NOOOOOOOO. Please don't close Facebook, that is how I get all of the real news."
  And my all time favorite one is...
  
  

"My babies' mommas are on there man. Don't do me like that dog."

This obviously bogus story is sad for many reasons. First off, so many people are addicted to Facebook like a fat boy is to a chocolate cake, or as in closer to the Greek Blonde girl's life, many people are addicted to Facebook like my manager Mr. Bricks is addicted to the McRib sandwich.

The other sad part about this is that we are all bombarded with so much information it is hard for some people to know what is real news and what is fake news? We also wonder how people can get sucked into those Nigerian email scams and lose all of their life savings. We wonder how the world can be glued to their TV sets like we were when a crying mom goes on national TV saying her son is floating away in a spaceship balloon.   And now we need to wonder how anyone can possibly believe Facebook is closing down on March 15th.

To quote Mr. Bricks favorite hero, P.T. Barnum, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Blessings,

Ava

xox