Ahead of the Curve

Doesn't everyone garden in pink Coach boots? No way I would wear my sneakers out there. Hello?!?

No I am not talking about the movie "Trouble With The Curve" starring two of my favorite actors, Clint Eastwood and Justin Timberlake.  What I am talking about is the Greek Girl can be a procrastinator. Oh, who am I kidding everyone is always way too early and I'm on flip-flop time even when it is sub-zero outside.  I go at my own pace, not Gangnam Style but GreekGirl Style if you know what I mean.

One thing happened last year and the year before and every year leading up to this year: I missed out on getting my tan-lines in check on Memorial Day Weekend.  Why?  Because I was behind the curve and didn't take care of the all-important yard work around my yard.  Now I know what you are thinking and yes I am insanely allergic to the poison ivy, oak and sumac factory that resides in my yard. For what it's worth when I go outside to work in the yard I might as well have a bubble I can jump inside.  I wish I was like the Jetson's and I could create a force field to keep the stuff away.

The other thing I am sure you are thinking is, "why is the great international superstar Ava Aston" doing her own yardwork anyway?  Well, because though I am great and all :) I am not an international superstar - yet.  For that matter some of my neighbors have no clue who I am.  So until this Greek Girl can shell out the dough to have a yard minion come and do my yard up right, I have to keep up my Greek Scootchin' ways.

This right here is what you call thunderstorm mulch muckery people!

So here's how I got ahead of the curve:

Step 1: Price out types of mulch at all local facilities delivered in bulk by the yard and compare them to the bagged mulch at Lowes and Home Depot.

Step 2: Realize it's going to be a lot of money for the kind I want, and this Greek Girl don't like to spend more than she has to on anything, except skincare, massages and sneakers.

Step 3: Hunt for the Deal.  Yep, just because this Maxxanista can't get mulch at her local TJ Maxx doesn't mean she can't still find a deal somewhere else.  So I took my Greek Maxxinista skills from what I learned scouring the racks and applied what I learned and found a great deal on Craigslist.

Step 4: Convince my husband what a great deal it is and show him just how much money we are going to save by having to drive 40 miles to the next county to buy some mulch sight unseen.  (Oh yeah two times there and back that is).

Step 5: Clean out all the beds around the entire house and make sure no weeds are in sight.  If there is anything I can't stand it's "weeds".

Step 6: Locate the cheapest rental vehicle I can to drive up and collect my bargain mulch.

Step 7: Dress like I work in the mines and head out to the local Enterprise Rental where we would have to wait around for an hour while Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum employees can't find the keys to not one but two cargo vans.  Then have to drive across the county to another dealer to get a van.  (not before this Greek Scootch made dang sure to get a deal and cut the bill in half for our inconvenience.)

Step 8: Drive the other direction across the county to collect my loot with not just one but two vehicles.  Oh yeah, I wasn't gonna let a deal go by without getting all the goods.  We drove the VW TDI SportWagon and a Cargo van through the woods and hills to Grandma's house we went - almost.  Surprised we didn't see Red Riding hood along this trail of muckery.

Step 9: Sort through broken wet bags of mulch that were piled high on pallets and stuff 150 of them into the cargo van and VW.  Do it all while trying to stay clean and cute at the same time.  Not easy you know.

Step 10: Convince my husband I am not crazy and that this was a really good idea and that he will be so glad I made him do this.

Step 11: Drive back home and unload all the mulch as fast as we can without getting struck by lightning.  Oh, did I forget to mention it started to downpour with thunder and lighting as we unloaded the bags?  Yeah we felt like two stranded golfers in our own front yard huddled under a tree.  Only thing was we had a ho and a rake not a 5 iron and putter in our hands.

Step 12:  Race back to the scene of the crime and get as much more of that mulch we couldn't get the first trip in the cargo van as possible.

Step 13: Buy some scratcher lotto tickets and a PowerBall and MegaMillions on the way home just in case.  Figure if we win I can say it was all because I am a genius!

Step 14: Race back home and try to not slip off the road in the rain and stall the van at the same time because the gas is cheaper in New Jersey, right down the road from where we live. Did I say I was a scootch?

Step 15: go to sleep and start over in the morning.

Yes I am wearing two outfts the same day. Doesn't everyone shower and change clothes in middle of a garden project?

Step 16: Spread the mulch all over the beds and make it look real pretty and thank my husband for not putting me in the garbage can with the weeds for making him run amuck for some mulch.

Step 17: Now I can relax and get out my bathing suit to lay out on my back porch on Memorial Day.  I can sit and drink an iced cup of Magic a la Dunkins while admiring my newly mulched yard!  This way instead of getting Poison Muck I will be getting my tan-line.  That is unless I am out singing somewhere cool.

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xo
www.avaaston.com

We Can Put A Man on the Moon But We Can't...

I was watching the news when I saw the last space-shuttle launch taking off as we put an end to this chapter on space research blah blah blah. Then it got me thinking, you know sure we got some great inventions out of it: Dust Buster, Joy Sticks, Wireless Tools and moonwalking. But what bugs me is that with all this knowledge we can put a man on the moon but we can't cure poison ivy, let alone create a cream like bug spray that will stop you from getting it. Sure they make a sprayable poison for it but it's not like that is safe to spray on your skin. What was God thinking anyway when he made this stupid plant? It's not like it is that attractive and I can't imagine it would taste good, so why does it have to be poisonous to the touch? Sure okay fine, put it in the amazon jungle or something if you want to create such a plant, but in my backyard? Hello?!? Talk about a cruel joke. Here Ava, look at the beautiful outdoors. You know you want to come out and play - oh but wait, you will pay for it with a summer of itching. Seriously.

Here are a few other items that occupy the dark damp crevasses of my Greek noggin of things we can't do but yet we can blast a rocket into orbit and send men to the moon:

Did you notice that although there has been women astronauts, NASA never sent a woman to the moon? That's because if they sent women to the moon we would not be out collecting rocks and silly things that the boy astronauts did, we would have been out looking for a spa or the nearest shopping mall, just sayin'

We can put a man on the moon but you can't find any employees to help you find anything you need at Home Depot when you need them.

We can put a man on the moon but you can't get a McDonald's employee to sell you a carmel sundae, because "we don't sell it like that." (read the blog it's hysterical.)

We can put a man on the moon but a cop can't tell if I am a drug-dealer or not because I have "tinted windows" (also a hysterical blog).

We can put a man on the moon but for some strange reason the Kardashians are of the top grossing on TV... and why is this?

We can put a man on the moon but I am constantly having dropped calls in Manhattan on my iPhone; you know a device with more technology in the palm of your hands than all that went into putting a man on the moon. Hello AT&T, what's up with that? Can you hear me now?

We can put a man on the moon but women's pants sizes still make no sense. What is a double zero size anyway? Is that code for anorexic?

We can put a man on the moon but Mr. Bricks can't get me a record deal. So I have two words for my manager Mr. Bricks and his lazy eye, "Call NASA"!

All I am saying is that if we can put a man on the moon there are lots of pretty amazing things we should be doing here on the Earth. You know, things that pertain to Earthly things. So I figure now that NASA is shutting down, maybe we can focus on what really matters, you know peace, world hunger, eradicating the world of bed-bugs and body hair oh and of course getting Ava the Diva to appear on South Park with Cartman and finding a way to get John Rzeznik to produce my next record. Just sayin'.

Have a blessed day and Viva La NASA,

Ava xo

Rock Walls

My Rock Wall as it was Being Built

So I know I said I was going to spend a lot of my weekend going to the movies, watching fireworks and yes shopping.  Yes I did all that, but what I didn't expect was to build a rock wall.  As cliche as it may sound being a rockstar for me to be building a "rock wall".  No I am in no way changing my career plans, as the old saying goes don't quit your day-job.  Well as for me and building rock walls, I'm no pro.  Now singing, that's a whole other thing so Mr. Bricks, you can cool your jets cuz this Greek Rock-Diva is not going anywhere, except for the Grammy's when you get me my record deal, just sayin'.

So back to the rock wall, yes I somehow got sidetracked and decided to go all out and work on sprucing up the yard a bit.  No I don't have a money tree in my backyard (yet anyways), though I did look for it this weekend because if I did, I wouldn't have been hoisting boulders up over my shoulder that were bigger than my head and carrying them clear cross ROCKLAND COUNTY, and yes that is the county I live in. Instead I would have been paying someone to move them.  Of all the places to decide to live I chose Rockland county.  Now being a rising rockstar I guess it suits me just fine but as for the landscaping thing, not such a great idea.  See, they named this county "Rockland" because everywhere you go there are rocks in the land.  Get it?  Okay, I will leave the jokes up to Mr. Bricks. Anyway, because there are so many stinking rocks all over the yard it only made sense to gather them all up and create a wall along the driveway.

Now as crazy as it must seem to picture this little Greek Blonde girl with an iPhone and an Iced-Cup-O-Happiness wearing crocks and hoisting up boulders, I was doing it.  I had one of my favorite songs "Eye of the Tiger" playing in my iPod as I thought of Rocky Balboa training to fight the Russian in Rocky, my favorite movie and all I could think about was getting those 50 pound rocks to the end of my driveway - and I did it.  In style of course.  That is, I mean my shorts did match my T-Shirt and my Crocks were the fashionable choice for trecking through the muck (of course I would never wear one of my beloved pairs of sneakers) and oh did I mention "POISON IVY"? Yep, I braved it.  I set out to build a rockwall and sure enough I did and I did it while getting my yearly dose of poison ivy/oak or sumac muck that's grows out of control in my yard.  I even sprayed gallons of chemicals to kill it, to no avail.  Great, now I can be itchy while I go in the recording studio tomorrow. Fantastic.

Okay, I know you are wondering, what does all this have to do with anything?  Great question.  Well when I was trying not to crush my little Greek body (which is like a marble statue of course from all the working out I do) with these massive rocks I was thinking of some of my greatest rocks: Rocky, the Rock, Rock Music and of course Rockstars.  It made me think of all the tough challenges are a part of the road for anyone like me who wants to chase a dream.

See most of the time we are told to tear down the walls in our lives.  But sometimes we need also to build walls.  Walls that are fortified and strong with rocks.  Rocks that would crush you.  Rocks that you put there and place in the perfect spot.  Those walls we build in our lives sometimes are walls of sacrifice, struggle and triumph. Building this wall helped remind me of those important challenges I am faced with every single day.  It reminds me of how not to give up.  My rock wall is not done and just as my dreams have not been finished yet, I will continue building this wall and the rock wall of my life.  At the end I can sit back and admire my rock wall and realize what an accomplishment it has been.  That and of course it reminded me of how hard it is sometimes to keep going till you get to the end of the driveway with a 50 pound boulder over your shoulder - you know where your neighbor won't drive over your mailbox because you built a rockwall to protect it.  Oh that was the other reason for the rock wall.  But seriously though.  Life can be hard and following your dreams is even harder.  All of us from Rocky to the Greek Rock Chick have our own rockwalls we need to build.  So get your Crocks on and pick up your rocks and start building.

Love and blessings,
Ava xo

Fireworks

Amazing :D

NOTE: IN THE SPIRIT OF THE 4TH OF JULY HOLIDAY AND TO KEEP MY NOGGIN SAFE AND SANE, I WILL NOT BE POSTING A NEW BLOG UNTIL TUESDAY JULY 6TH! 


So.... What are you going to do for 4th of July?  That seems to be the big question on everyone's mind the last week or so.  No need to ask what old man Brick's will be doing, I'm sure he will do like he always does, wear his circa 1986 white jeans and make a trip to Mc Donald's.  But wait a minute, he does that every day, so what makes that special for the 4th of July?... hmmmm

What is the Greek Blonde Girl gonna do for the 4th of July?  I have a nice muckery free weekend planned.  I am going to do what any red blooded american girl would do ~ and go shopping of course!  The 4th of July is a great time to putz around my favorite outlet mall and find treasures.  I also like to hit a good TJ Max (since I am a Maxinista afterall), Marshall's, and more than likely will make a trip to Kohls.

Unless I am out of town doing a show or an acting job, when I am at home in the Hudson Valley (just outside NYC)  I pretty much have a few things I regularly do when the 4th of July rolls around.  Since it is America's birthday the only proper thing to do is have a slice of Apple pie, don't mind if I do. ;D One of the weekend days I like to spend doing yard work.  Yes I have to do my own yard work, and yes I know if Mr. Bricks would hurry up and get me a record deal I would have someone to do the yard work for me. Until then, it's greek gardening 101 at the Aston House.  Since I'm severley allergic to poison ivy/oak/sumack that grows amuck in my yard, I always have to be uber careful to wear gloves, and try my darndest not to touch anything the gloves touched (always easier said than done).  Even though I rarely make it through a summer without an episode of it, I just can not resist the urge to get out and make the flower beds looks pretty.

After yard work is done, I usually find time to get in a good run, a few hours laying in the sun, and having a cookout with family & friends.  The following day I like to spend shopping. Who doesn't love a good sale & hitting Woodbury Commons just makes me giddy.  There are tons of of my favorite stores there: Coach, Nike, Michael Kors, Burberry, Kenneth Cole, and it's outside so it is a great way to spend the day.  Walking, shopping, enjoying the fresh air, and they have an ice cream & hot dog stand.... hello!!! Yes we all know I'm a health nut and normally eat super healthy, but hey it's 4th of July, I work out like a maniac and a kiddie size ice cream and one hot dog with mustard & sauerkraut never killed anyone.  Everything in moderation, right. Well, that is everything except shopping.  Kidding. ;D

Depending on when I get shopped out, hitting a good movie always makes me smile.  I'm really looking forward to seeing The New Transformers movie, Dark of the Moon !! Everyone knows how much I love the Bumble Bee Camaro... and the characters Bumble Bee & Optimus Prime are two of my favorites!!! Can't wait to see what happens in this installment!

Last but not least.... No matter where I happen to be on the 4th of July, I HAVE to see fireworks.  It's not negotiable... it's just not.  4th of July = fireworks, it is that simple! I love America & there is nothing more American than seeing a gorgeous display of fireworks on the 4th of July... and there is no place I love watching it more than the annual Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular!  I like to find a remote secluded spot to watch on my car from the Jersey side of the Hudson. Who wants to be stuck in traffic after they're done right?....  I can't think of a better way to round out the holiday weekend than to lay on top of my car enjoying the view and reflecting on all the fun of the weekend.

So what's on your agenda?  Whatever it is, I hope you have a safe, fun & wonderful Holiday!

Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox

Something In The Air

Have you ever had the feeling that your noggin is about to pop out of your skull? That's what this Greek blonde girl feels like right now and every allergy season. Thank goodness I don't have any shows this week. I'm highly allergic to three things

1. Mr. Bricks' Muckery
2. Pollen
3. Poison Ivy/Oak

There's not enough medicines in the world I can take to do anything about #1, but thankfully there are pharmaceuticals that helps me with #2 and #3. Sometimes I think it might just be easier to take a drill bit and unclog my sinuses, but that might be a bit extreme. Beside, Greeks don't do good around blood.

I just need to remember that when I do take the annual pilgrimage to the local pharmacy for my typical go-to allergy meds like Sudafed and Allegra D, not to also buy Draino and Comet on the same shopping trip. Otherwise I will get a not so nice visit from the local DEA agents just making sure I'm not making meth in my bath tub. Good Gravy, what has this world come to.

Every year at this time when the pollen muckery hits the fan it is also the one time of the year I actually go to Costco. I am normally a Target type of shopping girl, but when my sinuses get all mucked up like this, you can't beat Costco's pallet with 500 boxes of tissues for $100. That's a bargain - just sayin'.

I think I also need a bubble. I can climb inside my bubble and wait out the pollen season. Inside the bubble I can also protect myself from the poison ivy, poison oak or Sumac - whatever the heck is going wild in my backyard. Not sure exactly what it is, but I know that I am allergic to it. It is so bad I think I can proclaim my backyard as the Poison Ivy Capital of New York. The minute I accidentally touch it, it spreads like wildfire all over my body. I get hives, red splotches and I blow up like balloon. It makes me look like Mr. Bricks' kid sister. And then when I work out I sweat and that doesn't help the cause, in fact it just helps it spread faster.

My nose is red and swollen, my eyes are all bugged out and my skin is all mucked up and Mr. Bricks just laughed and said I reminded him of Sleestaks from his favorite 1970's TV Show, Land of The Lost. I had no idea what he was talking about so he had me Google it. According to Wikipedia, Sleestaks were a devolved, green humanoids with both reptilian and insectoid features; they have scaly skin with frills around the neck, bulbous unblinking eyes, pincer-like hands, stubby tails, and a single blunt horn on top of the head. Yep, that petty much sums it up of what I look like.Thanks, Mr. Bricks.

Blessings,

Ava

xox