15 Ways to Make Your Blog Go Viral

Self- Appointed Greek Blog Czar Ava Aston

The first thing they tell you in Blog Writing 101 class is that you need to capture the reader's attention in the title of your post. And right about now you are asking yourself, what was wrong with my noggin on January 1, 2011 when I announced to the world  that I would write a new blog every day, every week, etc? I suspect that your blog writing promise and noggin fog had a great deal to do with all of the champagne you consumed at the New Year's party. But now, you are probably really busy and thinking how much more you would rather be outside enjoying a nice spring day than being a slave to your computer with the daunting task of having to churn out yet another blog.

So I thought I would step in and help out. As the self-appointed Greek Blog Czar I have 15 options of sure-fire blog titles that you are free to use to help you make your next blog post go viral with little effort. These blogs will almost write themselves.

1. Why Lindsay Lohan was nominated as citizen of the year
2. Why death causes loneliness, feelings of isolation
3. Why most cold waves are  linked to temperatures
4. Why winners pay $15,000 to be Charlie Sheen's wing man for 1 night
5. How Justin Bieber got 1.5 billion YouTube views
6. Why most strikes that aren't settled quickly last a while
7. Why Smokers are productive, but their death cuts efficiency
8. How a dog hacking into your computer could ruin your holiday
9. Why A Blind woman got a new kidney from a dad she hasn't seen in years
10. Why Rebecca Black will win A Grammy
11. Why A deaf-mute got a new hearing for a killing
12. Why Police began a campaign to run down jaywalkers
13. Why stiff opposition is expected for casketless funeral plans
14. Why criminals Google their own names more than others
15. Why safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

Just slap one of these titles on the headline of your next post, grab a snappy picture and write a few sentences. Done.  Instant viral-ness, fame, fortune, and maybe an invitation to be on Oprah's "Best of the Internet" show.


Or you could just write a blog post like this and watch it go viral!


Blessings ~
Ava xox

Why Old People Go To Florida

As I was growing up I always heard stories of cantankerous New Yorkers who would go to Florida for the winter.  I thought that was silly, who doesn't like a good snow storm now and then? My sisters and I secretly thought it was the hot Florida sunshine that turned the older ladies hair blue.

Well, I was such a naive little Greek girl.

After experiencing the winter that we did in New York this year, I hope I never have to go through something like that again. Buuuurrrrr, I get cold just thinking about it. So to treat myself, I decided to spend my Easter vacation in Florida this year. Maybe just to try to see if I can get that punk look with some blue hair action happening on top of my Blonde coconut.

It didn't take long to convert me. After one week, I decided that when I get old (about Mr. Brick's age) and when I am no longer on tour with my music, I'm going to be a snow bird, and fly south for the winter. 

Like in the video, this has been my social agenda for the entire week:

1. Lace on sneakers - go for run on beach.

2. Swing by Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee (yummo)

3. Chill on beach

4. Send Mr. Bricks a postcard saying, "I bet you wished you were here"  (The thought of Mr. Bricks in a speedo...ok, I just threw up a little in my mouth) Next day repeat steps 1 -4

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Government Shut Down? Alright, Bring It On!

Gone Fishin'

Because our political leaders can't get their financial act together a government shut down is looming. What does this mean? How will you and your family be affected? Well leave it to me, the self-appointed Government Real Economic Expression Klutz (GREEK) Czar. I am here to give you the ins and the outs of what's going to happen financially and how to survive (if not even thrive) if there is a shut down of the U.S. Government.

First off this GREEK Czar recommends buying stock in Federal Express immediately.  As the Government shutdown happens forget trying to send or receive mail for 44¢. For those of you who listen to the GREEK Czar, you will become filthy rich off of your new investment in Fed Ex stock and will be able to retire before the next Kardashian reality series debuts.

The TSA employees will retreat back into their little caves, so boarding and flying on an airplane will become enjoyable once again. The GREEK Czar also must announce that the FAA will also be on temporary furlough so look for Southwest Airlines to bring back more pimped out versions of their recently unveiled Boeing 737's convertibles. E! Television will announce a new reality series starring Rob Kardashian called Pimp My Plane.

Because voting is such a huge part of the US political system and with the politicians inability to vote and agree on a budget, the GREEK Czar has decided that in a show of solidarity any TV series that requires a vote will be immediately shut down. This includes American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, The X factor, Survivor and the newly pitched ABC series called The Survivors of Dancing with the Ex-American Idols.

The GREEK Czar has some exciting news about those of you who have yet to file your 2010 Federal Taxes. Although your taxes will still be due by April 15th there won't be any post offices to mail in your 1040 tax forms, so you will have to spend a little bit more money by using Federal Express to ensure they are delivered by the deadline of midnight of April 15th. However, the IRS agents won't be reporting to their cubicles during the shutdown so all personal taxes can be filed in "waiter or waitress" mode. This means you do not need to report your actual total gross income for 2010, just report what amount you think will not raise any red flags like most waiters and waitresses do.

The offices of the FCC will also be shuttered during this time so as your friendly GREEK Czar I just want to warn you that you might want to keep your children and small pets away from the television and radio in case any insensitive or vulgar material slips out over the airwaves. Every precaution will be made to ensure this doesn't happen. This includes  a moratorium on how many episodes of Jersey Shore can air in a single 24-hour period and limits the number of Michael Bolton songs that can play on the radio during the hours of  8 am to 8 pm.

It won't be easy to get through this difficult time, but rest assured you have the GREEK Czar helping in any way I can.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

California Girls: America's Most Wanted?

California Girls

Despite all of the turmoil the United States is involved in around the world I still believe we live in the greatest country in the world. There are so many great things about our country that citizens from other countries want. As a Greek American, and as a multi-national singer/actress/blogger I decided to become the Unofficial Czar of Export and compile a list of the greatest American exports of all time, (in no particular order):

Mr. Bricks Go To Meal

FOOD

America is the birthplace to fast food. You can hardly go anywhere in the world and not see a McDonald's, Subway, Wendy's, Taco Bell, KFC, Arby's, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Burger King, Sonic Drive-In or my all time favorite Dunkin' Donuts - (which I go to almost daily, just for the coffee.) These fast food chains have more than 138,300 combined world-wide locations. The amazing thing about that number is that my manager Mr. Bricks has been to all of them!

Sigh....my dream car!!

CARS

Although the automobile was not invented in America, ever since the very first Model T rolled off of Henry Ford's assembly line in 1908 America has had a love affair with their car!  In America, performance became a prime focus of marketing American exported cars, exemplified by what is called the pony or muscle cars. Additionally full-size sedans like Cadillac and Lincoln also are wanted American cars overseas.

Huba, Huba

MOVIES

Hollywood is one of the major tourists destination places for foreigners. It draws an estimated 4 - 5 million tourists a year, not just for the landmarks like the iconic Hollywood Sign, The stars on the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame or to see the handprints in the cement at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre, but in hopes of seeing their favorite Hollywood Movie Star. (Hello world, I'm here in New York!) The international box office makes up more than 50% - 65%  of the profits for any film, making Hollywood films one of the highest grossing exports. Just one film, Avatar has a world-wide box office gross of $2,781,505,847

Elvis has left the building

MUSIC

American music is exported and heard in many other countries just like other country's artist get a lot of airplay and record sales here in the United States. The internet and iTunes have made music almost universal and without borders. Elvis Presley has sold the most albums worldwide with 1.6 billion albums sold. Michael Jackson comes in second with just over 750,000,000 in album sales.  Garth Brooks is 3rd with 150,000,000 album sold. Note: For Non-American artists, The Beatles are tied with Elvis with 1.6 billion units sold.

 GIRLS

I put this on the list because girls are always a major topic in American movies and songs, and I figured I could get and extra 500 readers for my blog today!  The Beach Boys and everyone else really seem to like not just the California Girls, but remember the East coast girls are hip (you betcha, especially east coast Greek girls, just sayin') because everyone digs the styles they wear and that the Southern girls with the way they talk they knock people out when they're down there. Many people think it's always great to get back to states to the cutest girls in the world.

Loser, Duh!

CHARLIE SHEEN

Ok, the Greek girl tried to slip this one in there just to see if you actually read all of this stuff that I write in my blog as it flows from my noggin. I admit no other country is clamoring for the self-proclaimed man who is on a drug, called "Charlie Sheen" and who is filled with Tiger Blood. I thought the rest of the country might be a "winner" for exporting him, as it sounds like people in Detroit who paid upwards of $80 for a seat to see his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour at the Fox Theatre last night would agree because they booed him or walked out on his show.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Jack LaLanne - The Godfather of Fitness

More than 40 years before there was Jillian Michaels and a Biggest Loser TV show helping overweight people get their lives under control, there was The Jack LaLanne Show.

The fitness world and the world-at-large has just lost a great man, Jack LaLanne died yesterday at the age 96. Frequently, before he became ill with pneumonia, but right up until his death he was still lifting weights. Did you hear that Mr. Bricks? No McRibs, no hot wings and no potato skins for this man. He was the real deal. A true nutritional guru who walked the walk, talked the talked, and swam in freezing water towing tug boats full of people - while in handcuffs. He was truly a man of steel.

Jack had a 10 point fitness plan that was pretty simple really. It went something like this:

1. Exercise
2. Better nutrition. Eat good just 1 week and you will feel better. You will have more energy.
3. Create and make good habits. (Start by choosing 5 good habits to do for 1 week)
4. Positive thinking. Appreciate what you have...
5. Grooming. Make yourself look better all week so you can get good feedback from your spouse. Listen to their suggestions.
6. Smile.
7. Help others.
8. Faith.
9. Relaxation.
10. Posture.

Jack also had a great sense of humor. He had a few quotes about the simple rules of nutrition that he said everyone should live by:

1. "If man made it, don't eat it"

2. "If it tastes good, spit it out."

and he often had funny quips:

"I cannot afford to die, it will ruin my image."

And Jack LaLanne has left behind an amazing legacy:

(As reported on Jack LaLanne's web site)

• 1954 (age 40): swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, underwater, with 140 pounds (64 kg; 10 st) of equipment, including two air tanks. A world record.
• 1955 (age 41): swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco while handcuffed. When interviewed afterwards he was quoted as saying that the worst thing about the ordeal was being handcuffed.
• 1956 (age 42): set a world record of 1,033 push-ups in 23 minutes on You Asked For It, a television program with Art Baker.
• 1957 (age 43): swam the Golden Gate channel while towing a 2,500-pound (1,100 kg; 180 st) cabin cruiser. The swift ocean currents turned this one-mile (1.6 km) swim into a swimming distance of 6.5 miles (10.5 km).
• 1958 (age 44): maneuvered a paddleboard nonstop from Farallon Island to the San Francisco shore. The 30-mile (48 km) trip took 9.5 hours.
• 1959 (age 45): did 1,000 star jumps and 1,000 chin-ups in 1 hour, 22 minutes and The Jack LaLanne Show went nationwide.
• 1974 (age 60): For the second time, he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf. Again, he was handcuffed, but this time he was also shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
• 1975 (age 61): Repeating his performance of 21 years earlier, he again swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater and handcuffed, but this time he was shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
• 1976 (age 62): To commemorate the "Spirit of '76", United States Bicentennial, he swam one mile (1.6 km) in Long Beach Harbor. He was handcuffed and shackled, and he towed 13 boats (representing the 13 original colonies) containing 76 people.
• 1979 (age 65): towed 65 boats in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan. He was handcuffed and shackled, and the boats were filled with 6,500 pounds (2,900 kg; 460 st) of Louisiana Pacific wood pulp.
• 1980 (age 66): towed 10 boats in North Miami, Florida. The boats carried 77 people, and he towed them for over one mile (1.6 km) in less than one hour.
• 1994 (age 80): Once again handcuffed and shackled, he fought strong winds and currents as he swam 1.5 miles (2.4 km) while towing 80 boats with 80 people from the Queensway Bay Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary.

He was so passionate about living a healthy life style, I can only imagine what thoughts were rolling around in his coconut whenever he drove past a McDonald's or a Burger King. He was talking about nutrition, before talking about nutrition was cool. He was working out and lifting weights before working out and lifting weights were cool.  And most importantly, he was wearing sneakers, before wearing sneakers were cool - just sayin' he did it all.

Jack LaLanne, you will be truly missed.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Dude Looks Like A Lady

So Steven Tyler is one of the new judges for American Idol.  I like him and his band Aerosmith, but that still isn't enough to get me to watch the show. Sorry Mr. Head of Programming at Fox.

It might surprise you that The Greek Blonde girl is not a fan of American Idol. Yah, who knew? Just because I am a singer and recording artist doesn't mean I must like a show about singers that creates manufactured careers. In my Greek noggin, the only real American Idol has been Kelly Clarkson...oh, wait I also think Daughtry is a really talented singer as well as Kelly.

The problem I have with the show American Idol is that it gives false hopes to so many people. This is a hard business. But now thanks to that reality series so many people think that if they get on TV it will make them a great singer. What it actually does, is it reinforces that lose screw in their coconut that makes them think they are a good singer.  Hold the phone William Hung can you hear me now? We all really know that just because you are on TV doesn't mean you are a good singer, or that you can even sing for that matter. We had that nonsense and muckery with Larry Platt and his song, Pant's On The Ground to prove that.

I have great respect for myself as a singer and for all of those who have also trained to perfect their craft like I have. However, I don't have a great deal of respect for marginal Karaoke singers who have a really great back story and get lots of exposure on National TV.

Now before you go off asking me if this Greek Girl wants a little whine with her cheese, let me say, this is not about sour grapes. I am happy when anyone has something wonderful happen to them. And clearly anyone who is on American Idol is in for an incredible ride with some really great opportunities in store for them. But just because they were on American Idol doesn't mean they are  a fantastic singer.

Note: Please scroll up and re-read paragraph 3 - just sayin'

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Good China

A threat to US security?

I've been not feeling well and in a NyQuil fog for the last couple of days, so I haven't exactly seen why there is all of this fuss about China.

Besides, I'm not much of a news watcher on TV as of late because it seems that most of the stations want to live up to the TV news motto, "If it bleeds, It leads" They are looking for negative grisly stories to report, far  more than they are looking for positive, uplifting, feel good stories.  So I just got into the habit of  not watching the news. I get my news from a variety of online sources, where it is more reliable and because everything on the superweb is true.  Besides, I can read the stories that I want to hear about, not what some news director wants me to hear about.

I keep seeing everywhere, including on Twitter that China is a trending topic. Why? How boring.  I'd rather hear about The Real Housewives of New Jersey...wait, no I wouldn't.  I take that back.

One online news source had a headline that said "China Bad for US Economy" and yet another one said "China a threat to US Security?" So why is China all the sudden such a big topic?

I know China seems a little antiquated. Its seems like I  heard more about China when I was younger. I always think about old ladies when I hear the word China.  My Grandmother could talk for hours about China.  Of course she is Greek, so no big surprise there. My Grandmother told me that some day she would give me China. I'm still waiting. But then again, if it's such a national security threat, I think I should tell my Grandmother no can do on the China.

Another online news site reported that President Obama might appoint a Czar to China. That just seems silly to me, but I suppose whom ever became that Czar would be busy and could claim to have a full plate -- just sayin'.

Maybe I am totally missing something here. If China is such a National Security risk to our country why then is The President having an elaborate State dinner at the White House with China. I know that is true  because I checked it out on Snopes.com and here is a photo:

Obama State Dinner With China!

Well, what ever the fuss is about China, this Greek Girl is unimpressed. I was bored when my Grandmother talked about China and I'm bored about China now. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Blessings,

Ava

xox

60 Minutes

What if you found yourself in a situation where you only had 60 minutes to live. What would you do? Would you panic and spend the majority of the 60 minutes freaking out? Or would you be able to pull yourself together and make the last 60 minutes of your life the most meaningful?

Truth be told, most of us will never know when the last hour of of our life will be. That is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing because we won't ever have to deal with such an overwhelming thought as that. But it is also a bad thing because I have to imagine, unless we all are living each and every day like its our last and living them to our fullest, there are things that slip through the cracks.

Thank you notes don't get written when they should. In fact, I still haven't written mine from Christmas yet. Not that you would want to spend your last 60 minutes writing thank you notes, but maybe if you knew you were about to kick the bucket, you might take a minute to call someone and give them an over due "Thank You" instead of putting it off like I have been doing.

I asked my manager Mr. Bricks, what would he do if he knew he only had 60 minutes left of his life? He gave me one of his little smirks and said, "I'd go to the Piggly Wiggly and buy some Life Savers."  Ok Mr. Smarty Pants.

Many people spend their life kicking and scratching their way through life, without really living. They forget that life is not a destination it is a journey. For me, doing a kind gesture for another person is a far greater rush than almost anything I can do. Also telling someone I care about them and they are important to me is something I am not willing to wait until the last 60 minutes of my life to do.  I try to do that as often as I can.

I grew up in a fairly big Greek family. We were open with our love (and hate) for each other.  I think it is really sad when I hear a story about someone's friend or family member dying unexpectantly and now they are all filled with grief because they never told them how much they loved them.  I have a big Greek mouth and I let those I love and care for know it. It's just how I do things. Folks, we're not going to get a 60 minute warning to make everything right! As Nike says, Just do it! As the Greek Blonde Girls says, Just do it now!

There is something fun that I like to do from time to time. You might think it is a little macabre, but my intentions are far from that. There are times I do think to myself, if I only had  60 minutes left on this planet, who would I want to talk to and what would I want to accomplish? That's when I might pick up the phone and call a girl friend from high school who I haven't spoken to in a long time. Or maybe call my Mom and just remind her how much I love and appreciate her or maybe i'd splurge and eat two pieces of chocolate (that can't kill me...at this point in my mind I've already got one foot in the grave)  or maybe even go shopping and go out with a smile and a Kohl's charge card in my hand. Hey, it's my own imaginary last 60 minutes I can do whatever I want!

Hmmm, this little exercise will now make me think twice about ever saying the phrase..."Oh those sneakers are to die for!" - just sayin'

Blessings,

Ava

xox