Why Do Old People Expose Themselves

Note to Naked Old People... guidelines for speedo wearing see above.

So my two sisters come into town to visit me over the weekend. Despite the fact that three Greek Girls under one roof is crazy enough, imagine how it is when one of them decides "Hey, we should go to the beach". HELLO... can we say "Muckery Central?..." Sure it's all fun and games until we get there and see an 85 yr. old man in a speedo (and we're not talking about the Jack Lalane type either, and no it wasn't Mr. Bricks ~ Thank you God). This subconsciously leads us all to begin wondering if we look good in a bikini or not? Now of course you can stop asking because yes we do, but it's just a default chip programmed in every girls brain. Greek girls have two of these chips - one for each side.... one for the Baklava and one for the spinach pie - just sayin.

On with the story.... besides the fact that my one sister's psychotic dog, (yes I did say psychotic people, it was actually eating the wall while we were gone) was at home unattended terrorizing my own four fur-kids. Oh to be a fly on the wall at the doggie party... So there we were, sitting there all comfy, blanket down, snacks and iced happiness ready to go, chairs properly positioned to bake ourselves into a golden spender (yes we were wearing sunscreen - no it wasn't olive oil - or made from olive oil extract) and BAM there it goes again. But this time it wasn't a man it was a woman.... wearing a thong bikini old enough to be my grama and lets just say on the very heavy side, she could have been on the senior version of the Biggest Looser ~ just sayin. So just as we blink... we happen to notice that she has not one but two tattoos larger than my head on each side of her butt. No I'm not kidding people. Then comes the highlight of the day: its' a toss up between the super skinny swimmer guy who decides he's gonna take a shower and expose himself in the public sprayer to remove the sand or.... the woman who dove into the water and had both boobs flop out of her top and proceed to act like nothing was wrong. No guys it was not Gisele Bundchen.

Now I'm not saying I don't love old people nor appreciate them, because I do. I adore my yaya and my grama in heaven, and I even sang for nursing homes after classes when I was in high school :D However... What is it about some older people who do not seem to get it that it is not kosher to wear less than Lady Gaga on the beach. I know they say less is more, and this is most often the case, but not so much when you have not kept away father time by taking excellent care of your miracle body like Jack Lalane. Anyone who knows me knows how much I adored the guy and if you are old and you look like that, be my guest wear what you want.

In the words of one of my other fitness hero's Tony Horton "Aging Schmaging, you can get all old and crotchety, or you can be in shape." I donno about you, but I'm going for the latter. Thus my working out like a machine.

Have a blessed day & don't forget the sunblock!

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox
www.avaaston.com

California Girls: America's Most Wanted?

California Girls

Despite all of the turmoil the United States is involved in around the world I still believe we live in the greatest country in the world. There are so many great things about our country that citizens from other countries want. As a Greek American, and as a multi-national singer/actress/blogger I decided to become the Unofficial Czar of Export and compile a list of the greatest American exports of all time, (in no particular order):

Mr. Bricks Go To Meal

FOOD

America is the birthplace to fast food. You can hardly go anywhere in the world and not see a McDonald's, Subway, Wendy's, Taco Bell, KFC, Arby's, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Burger King, Sonic Drive-In or my all time favorite Dunkin' Donuts - (which I go to almost daily, just for the coffee.) These fast food chains have more than 138,300 combined world-wide locations. The amazing thing about that number is that my manager Mr. Bricks has been to all of them!

Sigh....my dream car!!

CARS

Although the automobile was not invented in America, ever since the very first Model T rolled off of Henry Ford's assembly line in 1908 America has had a love affair with their car!  In America, performance became a prime focus of marketing American exported cars, exemplified by what is called the pony or muscle cars. Additionally full-size sedans like Cadillac and Lincoln also are wanted American cars overseas.

Huba, Huba

MOVIES

Hollywood is one of the major tourists destination places for foreigners. It draws an estimated 4 - 5 million tourists a year, not just for the landmarks like the iconic Hollywood Sign, The stars on the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame or to see the handprints in the cement at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre, but in hopes of seeing their favorite Hollywood Movie Star. (Hello world, I'm here in New York!) The international box office makes up more than 50% - 65%  of the profits for any film, making Hollywood films one of the highest grossing exports. Just one film, Avatar has a world-wide box office gross of $2,781,505,847

Elvis has left the building

MUSIC

American music is exported and heard in many other countries just like other country's artist get a lot of airplay and record sales here in the United States. The internet and iTunes have made music almost universal and without borders. Elvis Presley has sold the most albums worldwide with 1.6 billion albums sold. Michael Jackson comes in second with just over 750,000,000 in album sales.  Garth Brooks is 3rd with 150,000,000 album sold. Note: For Non-American artists, The Beatles are tied with Elvis with 1.6 billion units sold.

 GIRLS

I put this on the list because girls are always a major topic in American movies and songs, and I figured I could get and extra 500 readers for my blog today!  The Beach Boys and everyone else really seem to like not just the California Girls, but remember the East coast girls are hip (you betcha, especially east coast Greek girls, just sayin') because everyone digs the styles they wear and that the Southern girls with the way they talk they knock people out when they're down there. Many people think it's always great to get back to states to the cutest girls in the world.

Loser, Duh!

CHARLIE SHEEN

Ok, the Greek girl tried to slip this one in there just to see if you actually read all of this stuff that I write in my blog as it flows from my noggin. I admit no other country is clamoring for the self-proclaimed man who is on a drug, called "Charlie Sheen" and who is filled with Tiger Blood. I thought the rest of the country might be a "winner" for exporting him, as it sounds like people in Detroit who paid upwards of $80 for a seat to see his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour at the Fox Theatre last night would agree because they booed him or walked out on his show.

Blessings,

Ava

xox