Who Let The Dogs Out?

Today's blog is written by Guest Dogger Bloggers BoBo, Itty Bitty, Punkin and Pookie.

Enough of this crap. The four of us can only sit back for so long before we were compelled to speak up against the so-called goody two shoes image our Doggie Mommie Ava is trying to paint of herself on this blog.  As that pudgy TV psychologist Dr. Phil says, "Get Real."

She is always talking about how healthy she eats. Well this is some of the crap that really goes on in our house. Last night she was watching a movie and when the movie got over around 1 am she ate a candy bar! That's healthy? Mom said it was something called a Zone Bar and Mom assured us it was really healthy, but hey, it has chocolate and it is all gooey inside. We say that is a candy bar no matter what she calls it. Well if it was so healthy why didn't she give us a small bite? We would understand if it was real chocolate because we can't eat chocolate, that would make us poop ourselves to death.

Our Doggie Mommy is always telling us to pick up our doggie toys, yet a quick glance around any room in the house and it is scattered with wall-to-wall sneakers. Why doesn't Miss Fancy Pants learn to pick up her own stuff if she expects us to pick up our toys? Sounds like a double standard to us. But her noggin doesn't see it like that.

We're not going to lie, all 4 of us are dogs and we all love to sleep. In fact sleeping is one of our favorite pastimes. (well Bobo also likes licking his own butt too) But none of us can sleep as many hours as Miss Van Winkle can. Holy crap, we had never seen anyone take so many frequent 4 hour "power naps" as she does. She says she needs her beauty sleep. We will give her that, she is pretty.

Our Doggie Mommy says she is Greek. We are doubtful of that. We think she is just making up a fancy pedigree of her own.  We know a terrier mix down the street who says he is a bichon frise. Our Doggie Mommy is an actress after all - so nothing will surprise us.

Another thing about our Mom Ava that gets us hot under the collar is how she treats her manager Mr. Bricks. She treats him like...ahem, a dog. We like Mr. Bricks, we think he is a funny old man. Whenever we see him he always has food in his pockets like old cookies or half eaten sandwiches to feed us. And Mr. Bricks always gets down on the floor to play with us and scratches our bellies. We all giggle when he tries to stand up because he usually wobbles all over just trying to catch his balance. We think it is hard for him to stand up because he is over weight and he has that lazy eye. Whatever the reason its kinda funny to watch and we like Mr. Bricks. We feel bad for him and just wished our Doggie Mom would not boss Mr. Bricks around so much.

Another thing that is not fun in the Aston household is watching TV with our Mom. OMG, I think we all would rather get sprayed by a skunk than to have to sit through a night of TV watching with her. We don't think she knows that when she screams at the TV the people can not hear her. How blonde can she be? I mean we're dogs and we even know that they can't hear her. She says she thinks Mr. Bricks should lose weight and eat healthier, yet one of her favorite shows to watch is "The Biggest Loser" - which is all about fat people who use to eat doughnuts, but now have that lady Jilliann yelling at them to eat right, keep working out and to get a positive attitude. Hmmm, that kinda sounds like a typical phone conversation Mom has with Mr. Bricks on a daily basis.

Well, you-know-who is awake now and she needs to use this computer to check for email and to update her Facebook, Twitter, Ping and YouTube pages, which she does like a bazillion times a day instead of paying attention to us. So we better sign off for now.

So hopefully we shed a little light on Ms. Goody Two Shoes and you can get to know her like we know her. Don't let her pretty face fool yah. But we do hope you continue to enjoy her blogs, enjoy her music and her wicked fun sense of humor. Just be glad and count your lucky stars that you don't have to live with her. To borrow her favorite word...it's Muckery!!

Love and Fishes,

BoBo, Punkin, Pookie and Itty Bitty

(Woof, Woof)

xoxxoox

12 Dog Days of Christmas

Here's Itty Bitty, Punkin, BoBo, Pookie

"Let it snow, Let it Snow, Let it snow..."

I love Christmas and I love my dogs. And here in the Aston house we don't do anything normal -- that's just how we roll.  This includes the way every Christmas I dress up the dogs for their annual photo for my Christmas card.

Just look at these little Chinese monkey faces. OK, so they're not exactly the happiest group of campers in this photo. The funny thing about their expressions in this photo is I can show you a half-dozen pictures of this Greek blonde girl when I was little sitting on Santa's lap and I have the EXACT same expression on my face as my dogs. I guess the tinsel doesn't fall far from the family Christmas tree, now does it?

Here is a poem that has been adapted from "A Puppy's 12 Days of Christmas" by Elise Lewis. This is the kind of muckery that ensues around Christmas time in the Aston house.

On the first dog day of Christmas Punkin gave to me:
The Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the second dog day of Christmas Pookie gave to me:
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the third dog day of Christmas Itty Bitty gave to me:
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the fourth dog day of Christmas BoBo gave to me:
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the fifth dog day of Christmas Punkin gave to me:
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the sixth dog day of Christmas Pookie gave to me:
Six yards of soggy red velvet ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the seventh dog day of Christmas Itty Bitty gave to me:
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy red velvet ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree

On the eighth dog day of Christmas BoBo gave to me:
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy red velvet ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree

On the ninth dog day of Christmas Punkin gave to me:
My front door wreath in nine pieces
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy red velvet ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the tenth dog day of Christmas Pookie gave to me:
Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed
My front door wreath in nine pieces
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy red velvet ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the eleventh dog day of Christmas Itty Bitty gave to me:
Eleven unwrapped presents
Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed
My front door wreath in nine pieces
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy red velvet ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four destroyed sneakers
Three punctured ornaments
Two shattered mercury leaking CFL twinkle bubble lights
And the Santa topper family heirloom from the Christmas tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas Bobo, Punkin, Itty Bitty and Pookie gave to me:
A dozen doggie kisses
And I forgot all about the other eleven days.

In my opinion it doesn't get any better than the Christmas season.

Many Blessings,

Ava

xox

Happy Birthday To Me!

NOTE: TODAY'S BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED BY POOKIE

This is Pookie Aston here. I need to get a few things off of my little Pekingese chest.

First off, I have read some previous blogs that were written by Punkin or as I call her Punky. Most of what Punky said is not true. Punkin is not Mommie's favorite dog...I am the #1 family dog. Look at this photo. Who do you see? Me and Mommie.  Notice, I did not say Punkin and Mommie, I said  Me and Mommie. Personally, I don't think Mommie even likes that red bitch. (for those who are language challenged, bitch is French for female dog) Yes this Chinese girl knows a little French.

Punky said that Mommie treats us bad and that we all want to run away. That is also a big fat red Pekingese lie. There is no better Doggie Mommie than Ava. If Punky doesn't like it here she can hit the road Jack, and she should make sure the door doesn't hit her butt on the way out!

Oh, before I forget today is my Birthday! Yep I'm 8 years old -- That's 56 -- about 46 years younger than Mommie's manager Mr. Bricks. She made me say that. I actually think Mr. Bricks is pretty cool for an old guy.

No matter what any of the other dogs tell you, I  was the first Pekingese in the Aston household.  Did you know we are the Royal Dog of China? Yep. You can check out all about us on Wiki-Peed-ia.

When Mommie got me I spoke a mix of Chinese and English. Mommie called it Chinglish. But now I speak full-fledged doggie English. I wished other dogs that immigrated here would speak the native language...oops Mommie doesn't like when I get all political.

Did you know my Mommie is a singer? yep, she is. She has even written songs about me -- not Punkin. Here is a little diddy she wrote about me:

Peekingesse Power

It's growing by the hour

Big as the Eiffel Tower

Feels good inside

Pekingese Power

You sing it in the shower

It's always sweet and never sour

Makes you happy inside

and so on.....

I love my Mommie's singing. She has a beautiful voice, don't you think? I know most of you have checked out her MySpace Music page, but did you know I have my own MySpace Page? Check it out Pookie's MySpace Page.

http://www.myspace.com/royaldogofchina

Mommie says I'm spoiled. I say no, all dogs smell this way. She has so many crazy nick names for me it's almost embarrassing. Mommie calls me Pook-a-Lina, Ming-Ling, Mulan, Mooch-Chie-Choo, LooLa and Moolie.

So yah, I just needed to log on to Mommies computer and set the record straight from the lies Punkin was spreading. Oh, I got her real good last night.  She was going to hijack Mommie's blog, the one about Hell's Kitchen and make up more stuff about saying the real Hell's Kitchen is where Mommie locks us up for days on end while she is out on tour without food or water. She was hoping by telling a lie like that someone would come take us away.

Well it's not true anyway, we are never locked up like that. Mommie is the best Mommie ever. So, anyway after Punkin had written the blog she asked me how to save it and replace the blog Mommie's wrote yesterday. I told her to hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete. LOL, Punkin is so dumb she believed me and it deleted her post. I laughed so hard I peed all over a pair of Mommie's  favorite Abercrombie & Fitch jeans that were on the chair... Don't tell her it was me, I blamed Itty Bitty and she believed me.

Ok...I'm tired. I need to go take a nap.

Have a good day friends.

Pookie x

PS ~ Feel free to send me Happy Birthday bones if you want to.