Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Halloween Hijack: Punkin's Revenge


Oh, the humanity! I can't believe the atrocity of these forever humiliations in the Aston household!
Hello to all my faithful followers out there!  This is your favorite and most talented Pekingese dog Punkin Aston.  That's right, I have done it again.  I have gone in and hijacked my mommies blog! But this time I am out for some serious Halloween Revenge! You read it right. I am out for "R-E-V-E-N-G-E" Pekignese Style.  (For those who don't know, I am part Ninja because I am a Chinese dog, so therefore I am a ninja.)

Now, to get back to the atrocity and to qoute my favorite movie (mostly because I starred in it, though my scenes ended up on the cutting room floor)  If my mommy dresses me up in another dreadful costume ever again There Will Be Blood!  So instead of me going on and on about the kind of torture that has taken the Ava Aston household by storm I will invite you to watch this 3-part series and learn just what kind of monster my mommy really is.  
HALLOWEEN ATROCITY PART: 1


HALLOWEEN ATROCITY PART: 2


HALLOWEEN ATROCITY PART: 3




Now, if you have made it through all this muckery of which me and my brothers and sister have gone through, please call and report my mommy for puppy abuse.  Thank you and have a happy Halloween!


Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xox :D
www.avaaston.com

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Happy Halloween - They're Ba-ack!




They're Ba-ack! That's right the McRib sandwich is back just in time for Mr. Bricks to scare Ava the Diva by almost killing himself.  That's right, Ava the Diva and Mr. Bricks have one of the most mucked up Halloween's ever.  


It all started when Mr. Bricks was driving his trusty companion Sunny the dog to the groomer when he saw that McDonald's was featuring the "McRib" sandwich...  and we all know what happens to Mr. Bricks when a McRib is in sight. So in an effort to avoid missing out on this short lived opportunity Mr. Bricks decided he would stop in for a bite or two or ten!  So, tune in and and see what happens when Ava finds Mr. Bricks on Halloween.


Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xox
www.avaaston.com

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Craigslist: Why I should be banned from using it



This website should be banned at my house.
So my mom came over the other day to visit.  Sounds great I know but here is what always happens when she comes around.  Yes,  we eat great food and laugh a lot, but what you don't know is my mom is like a walking episode of HGTV.  All she ever does is find out what has to be fixed or improved at my house.  But what's worse is every-time she comes over she finds something wrong in my house.  She finds something that should be painted, replaced or upgraded.  No matter what it never fails with her.
So you're probably wondering, "what was it this time?" Well aside from the 20 trees in the yard she thinks should be cut down, she said I have to buy a "grownup dresser". Here's the problem.  The one I have is from Ikea and has been moved probably 20 times and refinished at least four times.  Now, in the other room, my sweetie is using a repurposed TV armoire for his clothes (it's not even an actual dresser).  So, the prospect of buying just a dresser wasn't enough.  So this turned into a whole bedroom set.
Now what a lot of you know about me is that I am Greek.  Well what you might not also know is that being Greek means I don't like to spend more money than I have to on the things that I want. (unless of course we are talking about sneakers) ;D - So I turned to... Craigslist.  Big mistake.  This is where it all began going wrong. Not only are you setting yourself up to be possibly murdered and turned into someone's dinner or inviting a thief to mug you but you could get bedbugs from the crap you buy from these people.
Well... here is how this went down.  After about 3 hours of searching on two computers and a couple trips to about 20 garage sales, the Goodwill store, Ikea and every furniture store within a 20 mile radius I found - nothing.  Nothing that would at least match my Pottery Barn/Restoration Hardware standards on a Target Budget.
So now my mom gets going on this kick of finding me the perfect set and when she sets out on a mission, it never ends.  So, she starts calling me and emailing me all day while she's supposed to be at work until she finds one.  It's great looking.  But here's the thing, I am in NYC at an audition and my mom calls and leaves me 2 voicemails and about 5 texts saying "Did you get my emails"? I text back, "what email"? She replies "I found you two beautiful bedroom sets on craigslist" then tells me I have to go to Danbury Connecticut to see the first one.  Danbury? (This is a 60+ mile drive). Yep, I did it.  I drove me and my sweetie all the way to Danbury to see some furniture that I would never come to buy.  Then raced all the way up to Poughkeepsie NY another 40 miles away.  There I found what would be my wonderful new set of "grown up" furniture.
The problem with all of this, it's over 50 miles from my house and I forgot to stop at the ATM before we got to the middle of nowhere on a windy road - let alone I had to be the chiropractor in 60 minutes back down where I live just outside the city and Jillian Jetta won't carry it all.  So, I had to go home and turn around to go back and buy it the next day.  The problem with that is I didn't have a vehicle big enough.  So we rented a van from Enterprise for $59.  Did I mention that we paid $15 for insurance + tax.  So now we have spent about $25 in gas and had to spend another $50 in gas for the van.  So we drove up through 2 tolls 2 times and had to pay about $10 in tolls.
Well we finally got there.  We loaded up the truck and paid the man his $500.  Yep, the Greek Girl bought a used set of furniture for $500.  Great deal!  But wait! It gets better.  I figured since we were on our way home we should stop at the local GoodWill Super Store.  Yes they have one in Poughkeepsie.  There I would hope to find my new "vanity". By now, my Sweetie is about to have his head come loose.  He said, "Vanity? What are you talking about?  Since when do you want a new vanity?"  Well... we ended up stopping.  No they didn't have any, but I did find a brand new purse for only $16.
Okay, now we get back home and unload all the furniture into the garage.  We race back to the rental place to return the van.  Then we get back home to look at our very own Craigslist special furniture set.  (BTW we didn't get a mattress that would be just disgusting, and already have a new amazing mattress).  We then realized the furniture matched the bedroom floor.  Ut oh.... Now we have a problem.  Ava, someone's got some splaining to do.
So we go to Home Depot and Lowe's and figure out we need some stripper, paint brushes, rubber gloves and new knobs.  All together our purchase was over $98.  So now since my mom decided I needed a new dresser that would not have cost more than $150 has now turned into a 5 piece bedroom set that needs to be refinished for a grand total of $794 and I still don't have my vanity.
Tune in next time to learn about my vanity and how that came out.  It's still a work in progress.  Oh and did I forget to mention all this is taking place while I'm recording a new project, working on a music video, and new "Ava The Diva Cartoon" episode... Good gravy I really need to get Mr. Bricks back in the salt mines so he can get me my record deal so I won't be buying furniture off of craigslist.  just sayin.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xo
www.avaaston.com 

Friday, October 21, 2011

Blinged Out



Good Gravy!!! This thing is for real? Someone paid $$ for this junk...?
So I am sitting here thinking to myself, "what could I do with $2.5 million dollars?" Then it hit me like a McRib smacking Mr. Bricks in the Noggin! I would design a bra covered in gems! Oh but wait... Victoria Secret beat me to it.  Dangit!
Now, if you can't catch my sarcasm in the previous sentence then you must leave the blog immediately.  Okay, but seriously, I have to wonder what in the world are people thinking with this nonstop need to be opulent and to be excessive with such insane amounts of wasted money on "blinging" things.  Just a few weeks ago I saw the stupidest thing ever, a Blinged out MicroCar.  HELLO?!? What the heck.  Seriously, does anyone even want to drive a microcar?  Let alone worth $4million in gold and gems? Sure, okay I would be first in line to be given such a trophy of nonsense but I would also be the first in line to cash that sucker in, if you know what I'm saying. (that is unless it were a bumble bee SS Camaro all blinged out) Really though in all seriousness, does anyone really need a blinged out car? No.
So this got my Greek noggin spinning and of course I went looking for some of the most obscene and stupid blinged out stupid stuff out there.  I found some wacky and crazy things people are actually spending not only lots of time but tons of money on "blinging" things.  I just couldn't believe it so here are my top 10 most stupid blinged out things:
1o. You know this guy knows a thing or two about bling.  He's one of the original gangstas: Before anyone gets their pantaloons in a bind, listen I have actually been to the Vatican. It is a creepy place, dead popes in glass cases everywhere. just sayin.

The real "King of Bling" is in the house!
9. At least I can see that this one has a purpose:

For $1000 you too can shut the screaming baby up in style!
8. Nothing says, "I am the baddest gansta in these parts" than this blinged thing:

I can just see someone bringing this to a gun fight. They'd be laughed out of town before squeezing off a round.
7. Drink it up! Drink up your blinged water.  Blinged what?  This must be for those of us who can't find worse things to waste our money on.

8 glasses of this stuff a day will put you in the poor house faster than you can spell Bling.
6. I am all for good hygene and all but this is just going a bit overboard, don't ya think?

There's just so much wrong with this, it's not even funny!
5. Tell me someone was dared to do this.  Can you imagine the suit he probably wears while driving this stupid thing?

Look at all the pretty lights! Wow, someone sure has time to kill.
4. If brass knuckles weren't stupid enough in the first place someone went and did this:

Okay, now nothing says "I am going to mess up your grill" like these pretty things.
3. Something tells me the guy who designed this got an earful when he got home:

Nothing says "The Perfect Home Maker" like this thing does.
2. Really?  Victoria Secrets had nothing better to do than this?

blinged victoria secret bra
It's just plain ridiculous. No set of "you-know-whats" are worth $2.5 million, just sayin'
1. Now for the biggest waste of money:

Now this is what you call $4.5 million of wasted money and whoever said we had a bad economy?
Now I know what you are saying, "there must be something Ava is okay with being blinged?" Well, yes you are right. There is one thing that I think can be blinged:  You guessed it....  Sneakers. ;D (I just love that word).

The only way Ava rolls with the Bling!
Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava :D  xox
www.avaaston.com

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Fall into Pumpkin



Do you hear voices when you see this, or is it just me?
Pumpkins, cinnamon, apple cider and colorful autumn leaves... ahh the wonderful sounds of "tis the season to put on 12 extra pounds." Hello?!? What in the world was I thinking when I went into that Dunkin Donuts anyway?  Okay, I know I am getting ahead of myself but there is just something oh so right but oh so definitely wrong with this time of year.  I love it and I hate it at the same time.  I love it because the air is so fresh and crisp.  I hate it because this is when all that bad food comes out to taunt me and we are still over a month away from Thanksgiving. Yikes!
So there I was, as I innocently walked into the convenience store to cash in my winning lottery tickets.  Sure, no big deal.  EEHHH ~Wrong answer.  Guess again Greek Girl.  The convenience store just so happened to be ever so conveniently located next to a Dunkin Donuts.  Anyone who knows anything about me knows that of course I couldn't defy my Greek genes and avoid getting a hot-cup-o-happiness.  That my friends, is when it all started.  I walk in and I was over taken by the warm fresh smell of the greatest tasting coffee and before I know it I see a display the size of a Mr. Brick's that is screaming, "It's Here! The new Pumpkin Muffin!" (This is so not cool I'm thinking to myself)...
Now, in case you haven't been keeping up with Ava lately you might've missed that I was in an extreme fitness program (but then again when am I not doing some sort of extreme fitness program) lol.  No, I don't technically 'need' to lose weight, I weigh and maintain my weight around 126...  It's just that I grew up a little on the chubby side, and it may have left me with a defect in my noggin that could land me on a shrinks couch one of these days... but that's a story for another day.  Anyway, there I am adding in my calories from my coffee w/ light cream into a mobile app I downloaded for my iPhone... and I see this horendously amazing and oh so evil sign of what is one of my favorite guilty pleausres, a pumpkin donut.  That is one thing most people don't know about me.  If it's got pumpkin in it, chances are I am going to want a bite.  Yes I do have restraint and will never eat a whole one, but I sure as heck will partake in a few heavenly bites of anything with pumpkin in it. Pumpkin roll, pumpkin muffin, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookie and even roasted pumpkin. Oy Vey!  What was I thinking?!?
So, imagine me standing there with a line forming behind me as I am trying to get my iPhone app to open up (and it is of course going ridiculously slow because of the little gremlins that live inside of my iPhone) and get the guy behind the counter to simultaneously tell me how many calories were in that tasty morsel only feet from my grubby little fingers.  There I am counting out all I have eaten and how much this donut and coffee will add to my calorie count and try to find out how I can justify that I still haven't eaten dinner yet.  Oh, man! I began to feel like Mr. Bricks and his need for a McRib sandwich and Green Milkshake but only with a conciounse because we all know he doesn't care about his waistline.  Nor does he even have a phone that uses apps since Mr. Bricks cellphone is circa 1989.
So what did I do?  I bought it.  Yep, I broke down and bought the stinking Pumpkin Donut.  I got my medium hot-cup-o-happiness in one hand and my guilty pleasure in the other.  Like a little kid with a smile ear to ear I broke the rules that I'm sure would have landed me into Jillian Michael's jail.  I ate half of that donut and gave the other half to my sweetie.  Yes, I did do about 50 extra sit-ups later that night but it was worth it.
I even named one of my four little doggies "Punkin" not only because she is the same color as one of my favorite things a pumpkin, but because it rhymes with her mommy's favorite coffee in the whole wide world... Dunkins.
Hope you have a beautiful blessed day!
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox
www.avaaston.com

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wall Street Protests




Can you see the similarities?
By now most of you who come here to read the random thoughts from the Greek Girl know that there are moments when I temporarily lose my filter.  Well, this my friends is one of those instances.  I am sure that unless you have been hiding out in a mine shaft at some point in the last few weeks you must have heard about the wall street protests going on.  OK... here we go.  WARNING: This may indeed be my most sarcastic blog yet.
Where do I begin?  The only thing I can think about when I see these people on my TV screen splashed all over the news is "Whining Cry Babies".  They are like a little kid who tells his parents that he or she wants a cookie before dinner.  The parents say "no", "you have to eat your dinner, and then you can have a cookie."  These little kids do not like that answer and proceed to through a tantrum.  That is exactly what these people are doing at the protests.
Seriously...  For anyone to compare this movement to the Tea Party, they need to have their head examined.  Now Mr. Bricks, please if you are reading this do not go getting your pantaloons all in a wad, this is not political (I am still residing in Switzerland).  However there is absolutely zero similarity between the Wall Street Protests and the Tea Party.  Case in point, can anyone tell me how many people have been arrested at a Tea Party gathering?  None if any and in the few instances where anything has occurred, it is usually because some extreme ultra blank wing whack job has showed up trying to create muckery and make the Tea Party look bad.   What does the location look like after a Tea Party gathering?...  Is there garbage everywhere?  Are things destroyed?  Do people get hurt or do they end up in the hospital?  The answer is No on all accounts.  The Tea Party protestors are generally peaceful Americans who simply want accountability from their Government.   They are taking a stand to tell their elected officials that they will no longer be silent.  In essence that they are awake, paying attention and will ensure that elected officials listen to the will of their constituents by voting them in or out as outlined in the constitution.  On the other hand, at these Wall Street Protests, hundreds are arrested daily, the locations are literally destroyed, and people are injured.  Example: A man (or should I say man-child) was photographed literally pooping on a burning American Flag?!?!?!... Seriously???!!!!  What The Heck?!!! - Let alone that in order to control or deal with this situation hundreds of law enforcement resources are being wasted by having to send them to deal with this mess (which costs a lot of money BTW). Or shall I say they are sent to be glorified babysitters to these over aged spoiled little brats.  Yes I said it.
Some are even calling it "America's Spring" in comparison to the protests in the middle east.  The problem with that statement is, the protests in the middle east are because they want to be more LIKE US... Hello!!  They are protesting to have freedom, capitalism and everything else these spoiled little babies are whining about having. Anyone spent any time there in the middle east lately?  Maybe we should ship of few of the Wall Street babies over there for a few weeks so they can see just how great they really have it here.  I sure hope they do not have a bible or a cross on their person when they land there in the middle east because that my friends is against the law.  Yup, it's jail, off with your head or even worse if you show up with those, because Islam rules there.  Ironically here in America where these cry babies think it is so bad, we allow anyone to come here and practice any religion they want, or not, and they have the freedom to do or be anything they want, and yes even practice the evil act of "capitalism".  Hmmm, better yet, maybe we could ship them down on a plane with Michael Moore to have lunch with Hugo Chavez.  Maybe that would wake them up, just sayin.
Inside voice, "reel it back in Greek Girl".  OK lets look at the definition of Capitalism according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary so we know exactly what our wall street protestors are crying about.
cap·i·tal·ism: an economic system characterized by private or corporate ownership of capital goods, by investments that are determined by private decision, and by prices, production, and the distribution of goods that are determined mainly by competition in a free market.
These same idiots will sit in a Starbucks cafe SBUX drinking a mocha skinny latte, typing on their Apple computer AAPL, wearing their Nike sneakers NKE, Abercrombie & Fitch outfits ANF, listening intently on their ipods to to fellow celebrity protesting compadres Russell Simmons and Kanye West...  Gee how do Russell Simmons and Kanye West make a living?  By doing what?  Selling their art.... Hmmm - could a mirror be in order? just sayin.  A good majority of these protesting babies are in the process of going to college that is being paid for by their parents ~ who in many cases are able to send their kids to college because of what I ask you? The stock market....  hmmmm. This seems to me like a case of shooting yourself in the foot.

OK the irony in the whole situation literally makes my noggin want to explode.  What a case of hypocrisy.  I have to change the channel, and pray these ill informed sheeple wake up.  Oh well, onto happier thoughts & back to the song writing factory.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox

Friday, October 7, 2011

Call of Duty



Help me help those who have sacrificed so much.
In life we all must at some point or another decide to answer the call of duty or not.  For some that call is to be a mother or a father.  For others it's to be a teacher or a doctor. Yet there are a special few who answer the highest call of duty and that is to put their life on the line each and every day.  Some we see every day in our city streets and others live in remote places on the otherside of the world.  They wear a uniform.  They cary a gun. Most are faces we vaguely recall or have ever seen before.  They are both men and women and are young and some are older.  Many have died.  Even more have suffered the disfiguration of their body through terrible injuries forged in battle.
These men and women are the most valued men and women we have in our lives yet so often they go unrecognized.  All too often they are not paid nearly half of what they are worth.  They suffer and die for us while we live in peace and enjoy the freedoms we so value.  Because of their immeasurable sacrifices we are blessed to answer other calls, calls that many of those who serve only dream to pursue and many will never have the chance.
Each year thousands of families across this nation are torn apart and children are left without knowing their mom or dad and for some their loved ones never return home.  It's because of these amazing heros and the wonderfully huge hearts of the people who run the non-profit group, "Operation First Response" I have decided to join forces and answer a different call.  I am answering the call of giving back.

Click here to learn more about OFR
Since I could remember it has always been my passion to be a blessing to people through my music and art.  Though the call on my life is not to serve on the front lines of a battle field, it is to use my gift to enrich the lives of those who are in need.  Music is meant to make you feel something and hopefully to be inspired.  It tells a story and connects with the audience.  My desire is in doing so, through my music I can be a positive influence.
That is why I am donating 50% of all CD sales when you purchase this exclusive offer of an autographed “Two-CD Combo” including my limited edition “We The People” single and 10-Song CD “Gone” featuring the award winning song, “I Carry You With Me” that I dedicated to fallen soldiers for only $15.  Each purchase will be sent directly from me to you and will go towards helping wounded soldiers and their families through OFR.
Thank you all so much for your support and helping this organization touch the lives of countless families.  What Operation First Response is doing and how impactful they are is simply amazing.  So help me celebrate these individuals and the sacrifices they all have made by clicking here to buy your donation purchase today.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox
www.avaaston.com 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Hindsight is 50/50



What is wrong with Lemons anyway?
There is the old saying that says, "hindsight is 20/20" but really I might have to disagree.  Sure, if you can look back and see what you did wrong or right in a situation you can "see clearly now" what did or didn't go the way it should or shouldn't have.  But really, let's take a closer look.  The only time Hindsight is truly 20/20 is when we are past a choice or circumstance and look back on it.  However, what we don't know are the repercussions of the choices we made at that time when we get down the road from where we are seeing things as being 20/20.  What we may think was either a good or bad situation in our past may in our future come to be a curse or a blessing in disguise.
What do I mean?  Well it's like this; we all know the saying, "you're damned if you do or you're damned if you don't", right? Like the women who knowingly always ask the same stupid question, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" Well if you don't want the answer, don't ask the question.  Better yet put yourself in the guys shoes.  Either he lies and says, no when you do, or says yes and then she gets mad at him for answering a question truthfully that she really doesn't want the answer to.  The poor guy knows he's damned if he says yes or no.  Either way it's a no-win situation.  So why put yourself or him through that?
Here's an example that just happened to me just this week.  I was out doing some errands that didn't need to get done immediately.  I was just filling my day/night with stuff to do. So after leaving Wendy's (If my fitness coach is reading this - relax I had a side salad and a dry baked potato) and on my way to Kohl's with a pitstop scheduled at Dunkin Donuts (doesn't everyone drink coffee at 9:30pm?... well greek people do) Back to the story... I was rear-ended at full speed by a lady in an SUV while sitting at a red light.  At first all these thoughts of, "If I just had stayed home" or "I should never have gone to Wendy's" ran through my head.  All I could think was what I should've done or wish I had done different.  The truth be told, I still don't know what the lesson is that I am being faced with through this situation.  Yes my car is a wreck and yes I was injured, but is there something in my future I have yet to come into that is a blessing?
Sometimes life is like that.  Take Michael Jackson and his doctor.  He is currently defending his entire life's work and what he did in those last moments of Michael's life.  His defense is that he removed the vile's of medicine to preserve the image that would be portrayed of MJ had he killed himself.  Though on the other hand it looks like he was trying to hide something instead.  In the end, the Doctor's still damned if he did or didn't because he should never have left MJ alone with such drugs within his reach let alone give him those drugs in the first place.

"Your windshield is bigger than your rearview mirror because you are supposed to spend more time looking forward than you are looking back." - Joel Osteen
Now, no I don't want to get all doom and gloom and that's not the point of my blog.  My point is that in life we have to make choices.  In reality the only thing we truly do possess to be 100% all our own ~ are our choices.  So here's how I look at it in my Greek Noggin.   Sure life can give you lemons, but who says you have to make lemonade?  Why can't you just slice the lemon and enjoy the wedge in a cool glass of iced tea?  What's wrong with lemons anyway?  Oh well then if life is a bowl of cherries, you have to deal with the pits, right? But what if they are maraschino cherries and plopped on top of a vanilla sunday? Then what?  Is life still sour grapes? because if it is, isn't that we make wine out of?
I guess what I am trying to say is, no matter what we are faced with in life it's all a matter of perspective as to how we perceive things.  Let your Yes be Yes and your No be No. Own your choices and learn to be content with what life hands you.  Like Michael Jackson said, sometimes we are "talking with the man in the mirror" and that man is us, and sometimes life is a test and on the other end you never know what blessing may come from what you perceive to be a curse.  Like my beautiful blue "Johnny Jetta" being destroyed could lead to a Bumble Bee Camaro... a Camaro named Camille or Christian Just sayin' ;o)
Love, Blessings & Music,
Ava xo
www.avaaston.com