Saturday, April 30, 2011

Art Imitating Life

As you know I launched my newest music video "Gone" on Thursday 4/28. In what can only be described as shameless self promotion of that, I welcome you to the latest edition of Ava the Diva.

Have a great day!



Thursday, April 28, 2011

Gone With The Wind

Picture this.... I'm in my car, which is usually all neat and tidy ~ not looking like it belongs to a  hoarder, but today not so much, it looked like total muckery.  Packed to the brim with everything but the kitchen sink that I took with me on my trip: boxes of Zone Bars, my vitamin suitcase (yes I have a suitcase for that doesn't everyone?), healthy rations, discarded Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks coffee cups and countless pairs of sneakers after a very relaxing vacation.
I was heading north on I-95 trying to rush back to New York for the premiere of my new music video "Gone" when my mom calls me and tells me that several tornadoes have touched down  just a few miles from where I was at.
I was in central Virginia, miles from the warmth and beauty of the Florida beaches I had just spent 10 beautiful days at and yet still several hours from the safety of my own home in New York. The rain was relentless, the wind was blowing and the thunder and lightning was deafening. I text Mr. Bricks that I was scared. In typical  Mr. Bricks' fashion, he never responded. As my Sweetie was driving, my mom was on the other end of my cell phone reporting to me the minute by minute updates she was getting from - She told me that tornadoes have been touching down all over the south and midwest and at least 72 people have lost their lives. That saddens me. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families and communities affected by these disastrous storms. I also pray for the safety of the rescue workers who will be put in harm's way to try to help others the next few days.
The weather was so severe I had to take refuge in a Denny's in Doswell, VA. The restaurant was in lock down for about an hour, it was just too dangerous to let people leave. I was happy to be someplace warm, and safe. The fact that it smelled like pancakes was a bonus. The entire time my Greek noggin raced about all of the people and animals who were less fortunate than I was and who had to brave the elements without being fortunate enough to be able to find shelter. I was thanking God the entire time that I was safe and prayed for those effected by this terrible band of storms.
Finally, after dealing with some last-minute bumper-to-bumper traffic at 1:00 AM on the New Jersey turnpike (what was that all about?) Oh good gravy, where in the world was the entire state of New Jersey going at 1:00 AM? Don't they know, nothing good ever happens after midnight? But I did make it home, braving the wind, rain, lightning, tornadoes and all. 
As exciting as the release of my new music video "Gone" is for me today, I still have  sadness in my heart for those families who have been effected by this disaster and ask that in addition to watching my new video,  you also say a prayer for those effected by the storms.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

5 Minutes In My Greek Noggin

Being Ava Aston
I am often told that I am not right in the noggin. Now if this comment was just coming from my manager Mr. Bricks I would dismiss it as monkey see, monkey do. But unfortunately the comment comes from everyone around me including my mom, my dad, my sisters, my best girl friends, my sweetie, the guys in the band and even my 4 dogs. Yes, Pookie, Itty Bitty, boBo and Punkin all give me that , "your coconut is messed up, Mom" look. I can not describe the look they give me, but I know it when I see it.
So, I thought I would record a recent five minute conversation I had with Mr. Bricks and print out the transcription for the world to see. I look at it as therapy for about 1/2 the price. The other 1/2 of what I am saving from a real therapy session I am hanging onto to buy a new pair of sneakers to replace the ones I ruined running in the ocean. Here goes:
AVA: Oh, Mr. Bricks I love those new sweet and salty Zone Bars.  I do like the Trail Mix flavored ones, but not as much as their Cashew Pretzel one. Do you think you could get me an endorsement deal with them? You know I eat about 6 of them a day don't you?  Do they have a celebrity spokesman yet? Oh, Kohls is giving out extra Kohls Cash on Friday. Did you know my Mom is the one who got me shopping at Kohls. My Mom's boyfriend Joe hates shopping at Kohls. I'm hungry. I need to work out. I hate Jillian Michaels, she is the devil I think. I don't really hate her Mr. Bricks, I don't hate anyone. Hate is an ugly word. I actually really like Jillian. Her work outs are kick butt and that is what I like about her. I want to see that new Johnny Depp movie. Do you think you can get me into a movie opposite him? Oh, you know who I really want to be in a movie with?   Christian Bale. He was amazing in The Fighter. I am so glad he finally won an Oscar. I think he was robbed that last couple of times he was nominated. What's up with Ellen DeGeneres? I heard she just signed another 11-year old to a record contract. I guess that is why her label is called Eleven Eleven Records. When will I get a record deal Mr. Bricks? I'm hungry. Vitamin Water. I want a vitamin water. Yummo. I love the stuff. I should get an endorsement deal for Vitamin Water Zero. Oh, you know what Mr. Bricks, I think you need to go see more movies. I need to go workout. I wonder why my Mom hasn't text me yet today. I hope she is OK. I bet it rains today. I just washed my car. Why does it always rain Mr. Bricks when I wash my car. I hate that. Oh, you know what I really don't like? Miracle Whip. That is so gross. It's either real mayonnaise or nothing at all. That's how I roll. I need to work out. I think Abercrombie and Fitch sends the wrong message to young girls. What do you think Mr. Bricks? I do not think I could ever be their spokesperson for that reason. I do like some of their clothes though. I love Super Dry. But I love those ripped jeans I got at the Gap.  I need to get the dogs more food. I'm hungry. Did you know I keep a plastic bag of Ghiradelli chocolates in my refrigerator? Yummo. I should work out. Maybe I should do P90X today. I want a protein shake. You know you should eat healthier Mr. Bricks? Do you know how much sugar is in their McRib sauce? I really want to help kids with Progeria. I want to help every little kid I see. And Dogs. I love dogs. I want to have all of my dogs on the tour bus on my next tour. I'm hungry. Some day I want to run a marathon for charity. Add that to the dossier Mr. Bricks. How far is a marathon? Where is Liechtenstein? That's a funny name for a country. I am going to use that word in a cartoon. I love South Park. Cartman cracks me up. Maybe I should cut my hair. I wonder how many downloads I have on iTunes today? Do you think I should buy a new floor mat for my bath room Mr Bricks? I hate the color pink now. I need to get potatoes. Potatoes are a super food. Hmm, did the mail come yet? I can't whistle. That's odd. Don't you think that is odd Mr. Bricks that I can sing, but I can't whistle? Why did I lose 3 Twitter followers today? I'm hungry. Most breakfast cereal has way too much sugar. I should go for a run before it rains. Is my laundry done yet? So what do you think Mr. Bricks?
Mr. Bricks:  What do I think about what?
See what I mean?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fair Weather Friend

I have spoken a lot on my blog in the last few days about the beach, sand and the surf. I should apologize to those blog readers who live in areas where the weather was not as great as it was in Florida. While I was posting, tweeting and blogging away in the warm sunshine, some of you were rusting away in a cold drizzle. I feel for you.
I knew maybe I had rubbed some people the wrong way with my constant surf side updates when Mr. Bricks tweeted me that he hoped I got sand in my sneakers. (if you do not follow me yet on Twitter you can follow me @avaaston)
My hopes are that you do not hold my vacation against me and treat me as a "fair- weather" friend. A fair-weather friend is the type who is always there when times are good but forgets about you when things get difficult or problems crop up. The Urban Dictionary describes it as, "A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you."
But that is so, not me. Keep in mind I am the same Greek girl who was freezing her noggin off with the rest of the nation for the months of November, December, January, February and March! I think I am entitled to 10 days of sunshine without anyone bailing on me for this little time I have spent defrosting in the Florida sunshine.
I am excited to start heading back to the salt mines. I have left Mr. Bricks alone minding the candy store for way too long. I think that is why he tweeted me the nastygram about sand in my sneakers.  Maybe Mr. Bricks is a fair-weather manager???
PS  2 more days until the premiere of my music video "Gone" on Thursday April 28th

Monday, April 25, 2011

Sticks and Stones: Knowing What To Ignore

"I can only be who I am, not who you want me to be"  Ava Aston 2011
In the past I used my Greekness as an excuse. But then there came a time to fess up and come clean. And I did.  Hello, my name is Ava Aston and  I am an ex-approval seeker.
Becoming an approval seeker was part DNA and part occupational hazard. As a Greek American I always told myself I was just being passionate when I became argumentative about someone not liking my music or performance, because after all that's what Greek people do. Even after we eat when we are happy we smash plates. Just imagine if you catch the "Greek Wrath" when we are upset. If you have ever watched the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding then you know what I am talking about. It was as if Central Casting went to one of my family's gatherings and cast the entire movie from my gene pool.
Being an approval seeker is also part occupational hazard, because anyone who is in the public eye, and if they are honest, are there partly because of a need for attention. Otherwise, you could never risk the rejection of getting on stage or in front of a camera in the first place. So I admit that me being in the entertainment industry was partly to get approval.
But here is where my Greek noggin got a crossed wire (or two.) My passion (read my Greek heritage) and my need for attention (read my career as a recording artist and actress) collided. If that collision had been left unchecked it would have been very unhealthy for me. There are all kinds of stories of other entertainers turning to alcohol or drugs as a way to combat that same unhealthiness. Not me.
 As much as I wanted the attention, the minute someone was a critic of me or my craft, I wanted to kick their butt, Greek style. I learned very quickly that I had to change otherwise I would have a very quick career. I decided I had to run my own race and not worry about what others thought of me.
Now, I try to keep my blinders on and  focus on my own career, not the career other people or organizations want for me. I want to be a positive role models for young girls and to do that I have had to turn down roles and not do what other pop stars are doing.  It's a slower road, but it's who I am on the inside.  If others disagree with what I say or do, I am fine with it now.
Regular readers of my blog or fans of my cartoon series, Ava the Diva know that I love to make Mr. Bricks out to be a bumbling idiot with a lazy eye. (Oh, before I forget, I want to mention that I think it is hysterical that the term "Lazy Eye" was trending on Google so much the past few days that it made my blog views sky-rocket because I talk about Mr. Bricks' lazy eye so much) Anyway, I do trash talk Mr. Bricks a lot, but it is all in fun. And ok, this is going to sting in my mouth a little for saying this, but seriously Mr. Bricks is a genius. There I said it. Cut-paste-save, because I doubt I will ever say it again.
All along, since my manager Mr. Bricks came aboard the Ava Aston express last July, he has told me not to worry about what others are saying, just keep doing my own thing. Mr. Bricks told me that a critic was like a  legless man trying to teach someone how to run. Graphic I know, but also profoundly true.
I have known ever since I started singing at the age of five I was singing because that is what I was supposed to do, not because I wanted to be famous. Heck, at that young age I didn't even now what fame was. But then somewhere along the line I started to listen to the critics, and despite 100 great reviews, I would let one negative review ruin my day.  I had turned into an approval seeker. I wanted everyone to like me. I thought if I could just convince my critics, then I could unite the world together like a Hallmark Greeting Card or like a Coca-Coal jingle could. I can't.
Alas, I am just a Greek girl and sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.
Photo Credit: Ava Aston © 2011 All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Why Old People Go To Florida

As I was growing up I always heard stories of cantankerous New Yorkers who would go to Florida for the winter.  I thought that was silly, who doesn't like a good snow storm now and then? My sisters and I secretly thought it was the hot Florida sunshine that turned the older ladies hair blue.
Well, I was such a naive little Greek girl.
After experiencing the winter that we did in New York this year, I hope I never have to go through something like that again. Buuuurrrrr, I get cold just thinking about it. So to treat myself, I decided to spend my Easter vacation in Florida this year. Maybe just to try to see if I can get that punk look with some blue hair action happening on top of my Blonde coconut.
It didn't take long to convert me. After one week, I decided that when I get old (about Mr. Brick's age) and when I am no longer on tour with my music, I'm going to be a snow bird, and fly south for the winter. 
Like in the video, this has been my social agenda for the entire week:
1. Lace on sneakers - go for run on beach.
2. Swing by Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee (yummo)
3. Chill on beach
4. Send Mr. Bricks a postcard saying, "I bet you wished you were here"  (The thought of Mr. Bricks in a speedo...ok, I just threw up a little in my mouth) Next day repeat steps 1 -4

Saturday, April 23, 2011

What would you do with 15,000 McRib Sandwiches?

The long awaited "Ava the Diva's First Sold Out Concert" Part 2 episode of my web based cartoon series is here. If you missed the first part, you can watch it here first.  Part 1
Grab the kids, grandma, the dogs and watch along and see what happens after Ava the Diva's manager Mr. Bricks negotiated a deal where Ava would get paid with 15,000 McDonald McRibs for a concert. See what lengths Ava goes through to make it right.
I hope everyone has a Happy Easter (Passover to all of my Jewish friends)
REMINDER:  April 28th is the world premiere of my new "Gone' music video

Friday, April 22, 2011

I Just Ate Deep Fried Pickles

Yummo. Deep Fried Pickles. My new BFF?

Still in Florida and loving it.
The best part about traveling is being out of your comfort zone. It's good to not get too complacent in life. When you are not in your own home night after night you tend to need to improvise to make things "more like home." Choosing what to eat on this vacay, has certainly  put me out of my comfort zone on a few occasions so far.
I normally make my own meals or have my meals prepared for me exactly the way I want to ensure that it is not loaded with unnecessary sodium and/or fats. Whenever I travel for a length of time like this I always have my secret stash, just in case I need a dose of healthiness.  However a Greek girl can't live on Coffee and Zone Bars alone, so I had to venture out of my comfort zone yesterday and try something new. Deep fried pickles.
At first I wasn't going to even try it because, well it was deep-fried. I was thinking, who do they think I am Mr. Bricks? He will eat anything deep-fried, I eat very little fried food. But at the last-minute I decided to throw caution to the wind and try them. And guess what? They were good. Don't get all excited Mr. Bricks you won't find deep fried pickles on my tour bus anytime soon. But in a social setting if they were being served, I wouldn't pass them up. I couldn't eat too many fried pickles as I still have a few more days I need to look good on the beach in a bikini.
Why is it that we take more chances doing things on vacation than when we are safe and sound in our own house and home towns. There are always pictures being posted on Facebook from people saying they just got back from vacation and look what they did, ate or saw. On the beach I also saw a few people who decided to wear things that I am pretty sure they do not wear in Oklahoma City. My Greek eyeballs are still burned with the image of those two older men in speedos ~ yikes!
I suspect that we all do things outside our comfort zone on vacation just for all of the bragging rights. Because look at me, not only did I eat fried pickles on my Florida vacation, I also bragged about it right here on my blog!
Time to put a little more sun screen on the nose....

Thursday, April 21, 2011

YouTube Killed The Record Stars

My YouTube Channel

Video Killed the Radio Star is a song by the British new wave group The Buggles, who released it as their debut single in September 1979, on Island Records. It celebrates the golden days of radio, describing a singer whose career is cut short by the invention of television. The song topped the music charts in several countries and not by me, but has been covered by many other recording artists. Coincidentally, it was the very first music video aired on MTV in the U.S. at 12:01am on 1 August 1981 when that music channel first went on the air. The song was number 40 on VH1's 100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the 80's. Hmmm, one hit wonder...sound familiar yet? Read on.
Music videos have been a great addition to the music industry. Sometimes it helps the audience understand exactly what was in song writer's noggin when  they  wrote the song. A great deal of early singers who found fame and fortune on the radio were crowded out with the invention of TV.  The early pioneers of the music industry sometimes created an image of what an artist would look like, and since people could hear them but not see them that worked for everyone until television came along. When TV came along, and some people sounded better than they looked, there went their careers.
When MTV came along in 1980's it was novel and some singers and band's images were made on MTV just because they made a video and had a certain cool look. As my manager Mr. Bricks tells me, back in the early days of MTV, not every song on the radio had a video. On a side note, Mr. Bricks was friends with Michael Jackson, (yes, that Michael Jackson) and Mr. Bricks was telling me just the other day about how Michael Jackson was describing to him the idea of what MTV was going to be all about, even before it debuted. Since there never had been anything like it at the time Mr. Bricks couldn't get the concept through his thick noggin. He said Michael kept giggling at him for not understanding what MTV was all about. Apparently Mr. Bricks never did get his thick noggin fixed.
Eventually, after several years of MTV,  the music video became less and less novel and soon became a necessity for a hit song. That brings us to the current dilemma where YouTube has created instant celebrities for the music industry and for this YouTube Generation (YTG).  Take someone like 13 year-old Rebecca Black, who’s song Friday’s video went viral instantly on YouTube amassing a staggering 111 million views to date. Did Rebecca get the popularity she has because she is a talented singer ?
No, the entire reason Rebecca Black has 111 million views on YouTube is because the producer from the Ark Factory knew that Justin Bieber was making millions of dollars and his videos were described as some of the most "disliked videos on YouTube." How bad are they? Well, if  the fact that Justin's very worst video, "Baby", just surpassed 500 million YouTube views last month, then they must be pretty bad. That is where Rebecca Black fits in. Her producers from the Ark Factory wanted to be just as "bad" as Justin, so they cleverly marketed it as “The Worst Song Ever.” By leaking a statement like that to the media, assured instant attention from the YTG who loves watching any video of the worst of anything. The worst car crash, the worst basketball shot, the worst practical joke, etc. Then they make it go viral by emailing the link of that "worst video" to 500 of their closest friends. And when a Justin Bieber song or Rebecca Black's song shows up on YouTube with a million views, the YTG thinks, " it must be good because it has so many views" and then the rest is history as the cycle repeats itself. To date Justin Bieber has 2 of the top YouTube videos of all-time with more than  a 1,541,295,560 views on his YouTube Vevo channel. (that's 1.5 billion) But, simultaneously with that achievement, Bieber also holds the distinction of having 5 of the top 10 most "disliked" (we can't say hate anymore) videos of all time on YouTube. To show the way YouTube has changed the musical landscape think of this: Michael Jackson only has 650,813,338 (that's 650 million) YouTube views on his YouTube Viveo channel. Now, if anyone can honestly say that Justin Bieber is better or more talented than Michael Jackson then they need to have their melon examined because that's just not right. With the way the music industry uses the YouTube yardstick to measure talent, that means in 2 months on the musical landscape Rebecca Black is 1/6 as popular as Michael Jackson and that Justin Bieber is a musical prodigy? This all makes my head bleed. Am I bitter, nope not at all, just sunburnt from the Florida sun.

The current record label executives grew up on MTV and they are currently not paying attention to anyone who has graduated from middle school or who knew life before Sham Wows.  They forget that a hit song is a hit song, no matter what the age of the performer is. The issue is whether or not the musical gate keepers in their ivory towers have enough vision to sign and distribute an artist who doesn’t need a legal guardian to accompany them to the recording studio. Rebecca Black’s song Friday is a mere novelty song and although it has achieved tremendous YouTube play and iTunes downloads, it is not considered to be artistically appealing. Catchy yes, artistic, not so much.
Unfortunately, these record executives are missing some pretty incredibly talented singers (hello, my name is Ava Aston and I think I am a pretty incredibly talented singer, just sayin') and it has turned many of us into indie artists. Take me for example, even though I have worked my Greek butt off since the age of 5 developing the skills and talent that I now have, skills that a teenager like Rebecca Black doesn’t have, simply because I no longer wear braces and a padded bra, I am off-limits to the major labels. That's just so wrong! The industry's trend of signing super young singers makes Taylor Swift seem like a VH1 artist and a music industry veteran. 
So, as most of you should know by now, next Thursday April 28th I am releasing the "Gone" music video, which is the title track on my "Gone" CD. I have given Mr. Bricks permission  to go ahead and send out a press release proclaiming "Gone" as the worst song ever written and the absolute worst music video of all time. I even gave him permission to say things like, "Ava Aston's "Gone" music video is so bad that if you watch it more than 3 times in a row your noggin will explode" or "If you thought Rebecca Black's Friday was bad, wait until you see Ava Aston's "Gone"  or my all time favorite hyperbole is, "Free sneakers to the first 100 Million YouTube Views"
Now of course I don't really believe that my song and video are worst of all time, I am actually very proud of them. And I don't begrudge Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black at all, I am happy for their success. I am impressed with what they have achieved. If you want to see just how bad my "Gone" music video is, you will be able to see it on Thursday, Thursday, Thursday  April 28, 2011.  Set your iPhone reminders now!!!
Ok, this hot Florida sun is wreaking havoc on my noggin. I think I need #60 sun screen.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Flip Flops in the Sand

Flip Flops in the Sand Photos Courtesy of Wharman Photostream
I successfully made the migration to Florida for my 2 week vacation. Here is my itinerary:
  • Plant my little Greek butt on the beach
  • Stick toes in sand
  • Enjoy the sunshine and warm weather
  • Send "Dear John" postcard to Old Man Winter (it's finally over!!!)
  • Send "I bet you wished you were here" postcard to Mr. Bricks
  • Edit "Gone" music video to be ready for the April 28th premiere
  • Go sneaker shopping
It  was such a long cold winter in New York this year and since I have been working so hard recently I really do not feel guilty about just taking some Ava time. But don't get your pantaloons in a wad, I will still be blogging from the beach. Blogging is not like work for me, I consider it Greek translation. As the words just flow from my noggin I put it down on paper... it's kinda magical, as if I didn't write anything at all - just sayin'. Song writing is like that for me as well, it just flows like butter, well actually  like "smart balance " or real olive oil - that's how I roll. My triglycerides are 33, so I think I'm good.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Aunt Iris and Ted Williams' Head

Ted Williams Frozen Head
It's hard writing a blog when you are also wiping away the tears as you try to type. I hope the water from all of my tears don't trickle down into the electronics of the laptop and cause some sort of muckery that would short-circuit everything. That wouldn't be good for the Greek girl.
As I mentioned yesterday, we are traveling by car down to Florida with my 87-year old Great Aunt, Iris. What a doll. My eyes are leaking.  They are mostly happy tears from all of the non-stop laughs Aunt Iris has provided. However, I also still have some residual eye puffiness and tears from the allergic reaction I had to her cat. I was so doped up I had to take so many sudafed and benadryls that I kinda felt like Barry Bonds. Good thing I wasn't driving and had some else to drive us.
Aunt Iris is my mom's favorite Auntie, and I can see why. She is a hoot. I haven't laughed this much since that time I watched Mr. Bricks try to fit into a size medium T-shirt. Yesterday we were going into our 15th hour of driving and out of the blue Aunt Iris blurted out, Ted Williams Head. So naturally when an 87-year old woman says a random statement like that the first thing you think of is OK time to pull over and find a hotel, someone needs their medication or someone's getting loopy. But that wasn't the case here.
Turns out, Iris knew exactly what she was talking about, I was the one who in baseball terms was out in left field. I had no idea that Boston Red Sox's  Hall of Famer,  Ted Williams had a secret pact with his family that they would all be frozen after they die. Ted wanted this done because he believed in science and felt that some day perhaps they all would "be able to be together in the future, even if it is only a chance." What ever the odds were he was willing to try cryonics if it held the possibility of reuniting the family. The amazing thing about this story about Ted Wiliams' Head is the fact that Iris was totally up to speed and I wasn't.  I was in awe of the constant stream of information that came out of her noggin. That is why I love being around older people, they are a wealth of knowledge and inspiration.
After Williams died in 2002, his body was taken by private jet to a company in Scottsdale, Ariz. There, Williams' body was separated from his head in a procedure called neuroseparation. Let me just say that if in the off-chance my Living Will ever turns up missing and someone in my family gets the wild idea to pull a Ted Williams on me and pickles my noggin, you better believe I want it also going by private jet to its final destination, or heads are gonna roll.....oops, did I really just say that?
According to a 2003 Sports Illustrated article, Ted Williams was decapitated by surgeons at the cryonics company where his body was suspended in liquid nitrogen and several samples of his DNA went missing. Ok, lets stop right here. I want my entire big Greek family put on notice that this blonde girl doesn't want anyone mucking around with my Greek noggin after I die. I think I have a good head on my shoulders and that is where I want it to stay. I don't want it hacked off of my body and put into some pickle jar on display. No, I don't roll like that and neither does my noggin.

 Ava Aston and her Great Aunt Iris
Photo of Ava Aston   Copyright 2011 Ava Aston. All Rights Reserved 

Monday, April 18, 2011

Bright Star

Ben Whishaw and Abbie Cornish star as John Keats and Fanny Whishaw in Jane Campions s "Bright Star." (Image courtesy Apparition)
According to the FreeDictionary.Org., which is where I started today's blog because I'm Greek and too cheap to go to ExpensiveDictionary.Org. to look up the various meanings to the words bright and star.
I did this because, well I'm bored and I'm on a road trip to Florida. I'm traveling with my aunt and her cat and she's making me all itchy.  The cat, not my aunt is making me itchy. I'm allergic to cats. And my manager Mr. Bricks texted me that he got an email from some hot shot TV executive in Hollywood who said that he thought I was a "bright star."  My blonde must be showing, because I really have no idea if that was good or bad.
So as we drove down the East Coast in bumper-to-bumper traffic I was googling the words bright and star to see if it was compliment or an insult. It sounds very positive, but then again so does the term, short bus - and I know better on that one. I give as much of my spare time to any and all people who have ever been teased about riding to school on a short bus. In support of my special friends, I recently told Mr. Bricks that my next tour bus is going to be a short bus.
So here is what discovery my iPhone google search yielded:
1. emitting or reflecting light readily or in large amounts;
- Example: "the sun was bright and hot"
- Example: "a bright sunlit room"
2. having striking color;
- Example: "bright dress"
- Example: "brilliant tapestries"
- Example: "a bird with vivid plumage"
[syn: brightbrilliantvivid]
3. characterized by quickness and ease in learning;
- Example: "some children are brighter in one subject than another"
- Example: "smart children talk earlier than the average"
[syn: brightsmart]
4. having lots of light either natural or artificial;
- Example: "the room was bright and airy"
- Example: "a stage bright with spotlights"
5. made smooth and bright by or as if by rubbing; reflecting a sheen or glow;
- Example: "bright silver candlesticks"
- Example: "a burnished brass knocker"
- Example: "she brushed her hair until it fell in lustrous auburn waves"
- Example: "rows of shining glasses"
- Example: "shiny black patents"
[syn: brightburnishedlustrousshiningshiny]
6. splendid;
- Example: "the bright stars of stage and screen"
- Example: "a bright moment in history"
- Example: "the bright pageantry of court"
7. not made dim or less bright;
- Example: "undimmed headlights"
- Example: "surprisingly the curtain started to rise while the houselights were still undimmed"
[syn: undimmedbright]
8. clear and sharp and ringing;
- Example: "the bright sound of the trumpet section"
- Example: "the brilliant sound of the trumpets"
[syn: brightbrilliant]
9. characterized by happiness or gladness;
- Example: "bright faces"
- Example: "all the world seems bright and gay"
10. full or promise;
- Example: "had a bright future in publishing"
- Example: "the scandal threatened an abrupt end to a promising political career"
- Example: "a hopeful new singer on Broadway"
[syn: brighthopefulpromising]
a. A self-luminous celestial body consisting of a mass of gas held together by its own gravity in which the energy generated by nuclear reactions in the interior is balanced by the outflow of energy to the surface, and the inward-directed gravitational forces are balanced by the outward-directed gas and radiation pressures.
b. Any of the celestial bodies visible at night from Earth as relatively stationary, usually twinkling points of light.
c. Something regarded as resembling such a celestial body.
2. A graphic design having five or more radiating points, often used as a symbol of rank or merit.
a. An artistic performer or athlete whose leading role or superior performance is acknowledged.
b. One who is highly celebrated in a field or profession.
a. An asterisk (*).
b. The star key on a telephone: For customer service, press star.
5. A white spot on the forehead of a horse.
6. A planet or constellation of the zodiac believed in astrology to influence personal destiny.
7. stars The future; destiny. Often used with the.
1. Outstanding or famous, especially in performing something: a star researcher; a star figure skater.
2. Of or relating to a star or stars.
So over all I think it was a compliment, unless of course you used and the #8 definition of Bright and combined it with the #5 definition of Star, then I would be A Bright white spot in the shape of a trumpet on the forehead of a horse. Then that would not be a compliment.
or  #9 definition of Bright combined with #1a definition of Star - I would have a nice bright face, but be full of gas. Then I would be Mr. Bricks.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Girl Next Door

Ava Aston: Your Greek Girl Next Door
I think I am the perfect girl next door. What person in their right noggin would not want to have this Greek blonde girl as their neighbor? Think of the money you will save on entertainment.  Cable bill too high? No worries, just watch my daily muckery for your amusement! It's much better than anything on TV. You can think of it as your very own neighborhood reality series. Want a pet, but don't want the responsibilities? No worries one of my four escape artist dogs will wander your property too at all hours of the day. Leave the door open, and it's like putting down a bowl of Kibble with their name on it. They will walk right in. Don't worry, I have trained them not to take anything that can't be pawned that doesn't belong to them. But watch out for Punkin, she's got sticky paws, just sayin'.
I've been known to lace up the sneakers and bolt out the door for something at the all-night market if I needed to. My house is the one on the block that seems to almost always have some lights on 24/7. And guess what? They are those old-fashion-invented-by-Thomas-Edison-but-now-throw-me-jail-for-still-using-them light bulbs! So neighbor, if you ever need a cup of sugar come on over, don't worry about the time. But I should warn you that I don't have that real white crap. Who do you think I am? Mr. Bricks? Real sugar rots your teeth and makes your butt big. So as your neighborhood nutritionist, I will load you up with handfuls of those little white and green packets of Truvia and while I am at it, I will give you more than an earful of the harmful effects of sugar on the body. Truvia is a natural sweetener and it is all that I use because it is so much healthier than real raw or processed sugar. And neighbor, please feel free to think of this Greek girl if you are making your little tykes that daily batch of Kraft Mac & Cheese and realize you don't have any milk. Consider me your go-to Greek gal for your last-minute milk needs as well. However, I should fess up, I don't drink/use normal milk either. You're gonna have to accept my lactose free skim milk, Moo Milk or Soy Milk for your little curtain climber's Mac &  Cheese, that's how I roll.
If you happen to be a bachelor or an elderly person living next door to me and you pop a button (from eating too much sugar no doubt) and need some one to sew it back on....don't come knocking on my door, because I don't do needle and thread. For all of my alterations I go to the tailors down the street, run by the cutest older Asian  couple.  (I know, an Asian couple running a tailor's shop in New York, what are the odds?) But they are just like family too me.  The wife always greets me by name and says the same thing every time...."Ava, you so tiny. Why you not eat so much"  Cracks me up. I just adore them.
This is just a little glimpse into what it would be like to live next door to this Greek blonde girl. I promise never a dull moment! I do travel a lot, so it's not like I'd be a female Eddie Haskell or anything.
So, won't you be my neighbor?