Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Trending Now

Sara Jessica Parker channeling her "Inner Red Riding Hiding".
This just in....  Breaking news - Extra Extra - Today's trending topics among other very important information....  Apparently Victoria Beckham was photographed wearing "ballet flats" and not her trademark stiletto high heels, (huuuh gasp the horror).  Jennifer Aniston was seen wearing the same bikini not for one season, but for two years in a row now - huh... gasp ~ How can that be?  
In other breaking news Kim Kardashian's shelved music video (if we can call it that) was leaked onto the internet.  Daryl Hannah arrested at Pipeline Protest outside the White House, shocking... couldn't she just have been more sweet like Suzanne Somers and gone on to write books & hawk stuff everywhere on QVC? just sayin.  OK if you have even a smidge of a brain cell in your head you have to be thinking the same thing this Greek Girl is thinking, "Seriously...  THIS is News?!?"

Hold the Presses - She wore it more than once.
Have we as a society become this shallow?  Honestly, do any of us care what bikini Jennifer Aniston wears? (well anyone besides Mr. Bricks that is) Sure, we all enjoy the moments while standing in the grocery store line where we learn what it's like growing up Jolie-Pitt, but really we have some seriously pressing issues going on and most people are blind to it.
Here is what should be trending:
  1. Over 40 people died from Hurricane Irene & Vermont is devastated
  2. FEMA is out of money (geeze I can't imagine why)
  3. 9/11 has no clergy allowed?  Hello?  Anyone else think this is just stupid?
  4. Jason Statham has a movie coming out with DeNiro soon (not one but 2 of my favorite actors, hello!!)
  5. There may be a cure for cancer on the horizon, (for real look it up)
  6. Why does the Abercrombie & Fitch Jr. store have thong undies for little girls (that is so wrong on so many levels)
  7. Ava Aston is in the studio working on some new tunes (selfish plug)
  8. China, Egypt, North Korea, Lybia... uh Hello! Plenty of concerns there.
  9. Why is the Jersey Shore still on TV (let alone why it was ever on TV?)
  10. Rebecca Black - - oh wait never mind.
At least Brad Pitt & Kate Winslet are trending for having rescued people, not for what they were wearing, eating, dating and so on.  All I'm saying, is people wonder why we (Americans) are scoffed at and made fun of by other nations.  The majority of the items that are "trending" or on the front page of Yahoo are so silly and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  I know I am one for being positive, speaking positive, thinking positive, and seeing the good in people and in things.  However burring your head in the sand and choosing to focus on and to promote these pretty things as "news worthy" to me, well it just makes my noggin hurt.  I mean really, what was Sarah Jessica Parker thinking wearing that dress anyways? ;D
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hurricane Irene

Hurricane Irene Heading Straight Towards NY.... Yikes!
Unless you have been living under a rock, abducted by an alien or in a mexican prison, by now I'm sure you have heard about the monster hurricane moving up the east coast. Looking as if it's about to pass smack dab over you guessed it, the Greek Girls abode. Having lived through Hurricane Frances while visiting family in FL, I for one do not want to be sitting there waiting for the muckery to begin.  Trust me it is not fun.  So like so many others on the east coast over the past few days, yesterday was the day to batten down the hatches and get out of dodge.
You never realize how many yard toys, flower boxes, and just the sheer amount of stuff you have around until you go on a mission to put it all away.  The last thing I want on my conscience is my little butterfly sticking out of the ground to turn into a missal and fly through a neighbors window.  The main reason I decided to leave the area was that there are probably over fifty giant trees surrounding my house.  They are massive, and the possibility of one of them falling while I'm in the house, not sounding like fun to me. Much better to travel west to my hometown in upstate western NY, where it's just going to be more rain than anything else and hunker down with family until it is over.  
A funny thing happened during the whole Hurricane Frances ordeal back in 2004.  As many of you who read my blog know, I love my Eric Cartman from Southpark.  Also that every year for my birthday, my mom has a special birthday cake made for me in the shape of him.  Well, since I was in FL and not around to enjoy him , she decided it would be a good idea to "fedex" him to me.  Yes I did just say that my mom "fedexed" me a cake.  Welcome to the world of my muckery. ;D Anyway to make a long story short, picture this... The entire family in FL is all packed up into two cars in the driveway.  Dogs, cats, people, stuff... and there I am standing in front of the house waiting for the Fedex guy to show up, so we could get Cartman and leave...   He did show up a few minutes late which is understandable since the entire area was evacuating and we left to the other side of the state to Naples to wait out the storm.  When we came back, there was no power, so I put the remains of Cartman in the fridge in it's box to try to keep him safe from the FL ants.  The next morning, I went to get a slice of him and he was overtaken by the ants. ;( rhrrrhhh
At least this Hurricane is not going to hijack my birthday this year (which is next Sunday eh hem), lets hope anyway.  I for one am praying very hard I might add for this Hurricane to loose strength as it comes over land and north and that there will not be severe damage as we've seen in past hurricanes.  
I do hope that everyone heeds all local warnings and instructions and takes it very seriously.  Mother nature is not something to mess around with.  Stay safe warm and dry, and please don't forget your pets!
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Twenty Ways to Treat a Girl or Pay Her a Compliment

Guys, you should always treat a lady like a lady!
Come on guys, it is not that difficult to give your girl a sincere compliment. Sure, it goes against every code of ethics from, The Guide to Being A Real Man hand book that is left for you on your bed in your new college dorm room.
It is a good thing this handbook is not handed to boys in high school because their sensitive still-developing noggins couldn’t handle that much information. It would short circuit those cantaloupes out because they are just now discovering the finer things in life.  Like college football all day on Saturday, beer and yes, the boobs… hopefully on girls, Good Gravy, not man boobs like Mr. Bricks has.
Because I am 100% a girl (thanks for noticing) I am not allowed to read the handbook. But my noggin tells me in there somewhere it’s gotta talk about manners and compliments. For those Neanderthal types who are just looking at the computer screen and thinking, Manners? Compliments? What are they Greek Girl? Allow me to explain, that is why I wrote today's blog.  Here is the definition of manners and compliments:


noun\ man-ers

 a : the prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc

bways of behaving with reference to polite standards ; social comportment
noun \ˈkäm-plə-mənt\
a : an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially : an admiring remark
Now that we have all of the text book stuff out of the way and since I am not allowed to go near the man’s version of the book or my noggin will explode, I want to share with you an excerpt of what I am calling: “The Greek Girl’s Guide to Treating A Lady Like A Lady
  1. Never try and ask a girl to go steady while belching
  2. Don’t spit chew into a paper cup and expect a kiss in the same week
  3. Don’t hold open the door at a restaurant as a way to check out her butt. Do it because it is the polite thing to do and keep your eyes up
  4. Limit any conversations on a date to no more than 3 different farm animals
  5. Ketchup is not a side dish. Use it sparingly
  6. If a waitress asks if you want condiments for your hamburger try not to giggle
  7. If a girl smells nice, tell it to her. But do not say she smells like a bunch of flowers and junk
  8. When she grabs your arm or hand while walking it is not a solicitation on her part for an arm wrestling match or an iron grip death match. Just freakin’ hold her hand/arm gently
  9. Girls who wanna fit into their skinny jeans don’t like to go to buffets. Don’t tempt us
  10. Look closer on your deodorant-it says use daily, just sayin’
  11. Bringing a wingman on a date is not romantic
  12. Don’t try and impress her with your fast driving. Her aunt could be Danica Patrick and Danica could out drive you any day
  13. Don’t look at the menu and say,  “wow, they raised their prices” if you are at Wendy’s or McDonalds
  14. If you get pulled over by the cops don’t ask her to hold your bag of weed “just for a second”
  15. When you invite a girl over make sure there are no smells that are unidentifiable
  16. Most girls just spent 2 hours fixing up their hair. Don’t touch her head unless you are a licensed hair stylist
  17. Handcuffs dangling from your car’s rear view mirror are uncool. Furry handcuffs dangling from your car’s rear view mirror are uncool and creepy
  18. If she allows you to give her a kiss - keep it at a kiss on the check or a quick peck on her lips. Don’t go in for a full tonsillectomy with your tongue
  19. Try not to answer her questions with grunts or a series of short unaudiible grunts. That is so 10,000 BC.
  20. Please do not be like my buddy Lou Bega and brag that you got a girl in Rome, you got a girl in the Vatican dome or if you got a girl right here or if you got a girl right there. Don’t tell her that you  have a girlfriend everywhere.  She doesn’t wanna know that you got a girl on the moon, got a girl on mars or that you got a girl that likes to dance in the stars.  Just make her feel special!!!
Have a great day.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Krazy Glue

It's amazing the things that can be accomplished if you just "don't quit".
So, I'm sitting here flipping the remote when all of a sudden I see one of the most insane commercials ever.  No I am not talking about Nair hair removal for men, that silly sham-wow guy and no it wasn't some other crazy As Seen On TV ad about the perfect meatloaf, an instant zipper or anything like that.  No, it was some guy "bungee jumping" from a bridge.  Now if bungee jumping alone wasn't insane enough he did it with a connection that was made with - yep - you guessed it "Krazy Glue"! (see below, just so you know I wasn't hallucamajating or anything) 

Ahh, hello?  Am I the only one who sees this is not a good idea?  I know they put a "disclaimer" telling people not to try this at home but come on, really?  It makes me wonder, "are there any people who would really attempt this?" Then I thought about Mr. Bricks and realized  - yep, probably.  No, he didn't bungee jump with a Krazy Glue harness, but I wouldn't put it past him to try and make me do something like that.
What was interesting is that I did a little digging to see if this was for real.  I couldn't believe it but it was true.  Turns out, whenever you see a commercial that "claims" the product can actually do as seen, it has to actually do it.  It's called truth in advertising.
So I started thinking about just how strong and long lasting Krazy Glue really is.  It quite literally lasts so long and is virtually impossible to separate two objects stuck together by it.  (Side note: this reminds me of a kid I went to school with who was dared to shave his eyebrows and put Krazy Glue on his "you know what" and did it.  Turns out neither were good ideas.)
My point is, Krazy Glue has a lot of uses and it's reliable and never quits sticking.  It's like one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite people in history, "Never, Never, Never quit!" - Sir Winston Churchill.  When it comes to Krazy Glue and jumping off a bridge I guess it's not an option.  I sure hope not at least.
It's like in life, when we have a dream, a passion, a goal or something that really matters to us we have to be like that little bottle of super glue.  It's almost like a modern-day proverb that Jesus spoke about having the faith of a mustard seed.  It's the smallest seed in the herb garden but produces the largest shrub.  So in other words, like Krazy Glue it's almost like putting your faith into action.  It's such a small seed and a tiny drop of glue but with just a little bit of both, one can do great things.
Throughout history we have had so many amazing people who did not ever give up.  No matter how hard it may have seemed, they pushed and pushed and kept sticking like glue to what they held true in their heart.  It's in those moments when you really find out just what you are made of.  You can either be like chewing gum that may taste sweet and have pretty colors and yeah it's sticky but unlike Krazy Glue which is colorless and smells funky and pretty sure it tastes awful, it sure won't keep you from smashing to your death on a canyon floor while using a bungee harness held together by it.
Take Tiger Woods for instance.  Love him or hate him, he dedicated a lifetime to a dream and a goal.  Doing so he positioned himself as one of the greatest golfers to have ever lived. (disclaimer I am not talking about his personal activities eh hem... so the people out there with Tiger Woods derangement syndrome, chill) Here are just a few people who in my mind held like Krazy Glue when faced with opposition and never, never, never quit or gave up:
Michael Jordan - was told he can't play basketball
Barbara Streisand - was told she couldn't sing
Colonel Sanders - rejected over 100 times before someone bought his chicken
Winston Churchill - lost every election for political office til Prime Minister @ 62 yrs old
Tom Cruise - over 100 rejected auditions before booking his first job
Henry Ford - went broke 5 times before successfully founding Ford Motor Co.
Oprah Winfrey - fired & told she was "unfit for TV".
Sidney Portier - Told to "stop wasting peoples time and go be a dishwasher or something" 
Elvis Presley - Fired by Grand Ole Opry manager and told "you ain't going nowhere son you ought to go back to drivin a truck..."
Ava Aston - still going strong  :o)
Well, you get my point.  No matter who you are, or what your dream is, it's never to late for your dreams come true... but if you quit they never will.  In the greek girl's book, quitting is just never an option.  Whatever you do, don't try jumping off a bridge with a Krazy Glue harness.  Just sayin'
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava xox 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Celebrity Tattoos

Angelina Jolie, Celebrity Tattoo Pioneer?...
Inked, marked, tatted, whatever you choose to call it.  It seems like there's a lot of celebs running around getting tattoos these days.  According to my trusty Yahoo news headlines Leann Rimes & Reese Witherspoon are the latest ladies to get "inked" for love.  For those of you who may be wondering, yes the Greek Girl does have a tattoo.  Now before you go getting your pantaloons all in a wad, relax - no it doesn't say "mom", "dad" and no it is not the name of some long lost love named Brad.  (Good Gravy, give the Greek Girl some credit).  My tattoo is on my ankle, is small and quite unique ~ although it is about someone I love... my tattoo is of (cue drumroll).... Eric Cartman from Southpark.

My ink... this is how I roll :D
OK, why Eric Cartman you my be thinking to yourself?  I'll tell you why, because he's cute, and he makes me laugh.  Ever since I saw my first episode I was hooked.  There is just something about Eric that makes me laugh myself silly.  If I were a cartoon I'd probably date him (wait a minute I am a cartoon "Ava the Diva" & that's a blog I already wrote).  My mom has a special made birthday cake made for me every year of him.  Disclaimer, remember I love the show Southpark, do I think it is a show for kids? No...  It's a grown up cartoon that makes fun of everything and shows us how silly we can actually be at times about life.
I decided to put on my detective hat to find out how many celebrities have tattoos.  Is it just Rock Stars and Wrestlers or what?  So since the list would go on forever, I decided to put together the following random list of celebs who you may or may not have known are inked:
Dwayne Johnson aka "The Rock"
Christina Aguilera
Justin Bieber (didn't even know he was old enough to get a tattoo - even with parents permission, isn't there a law about that? well if not there should be - just sayin)
David Beckham
Angelina Jolie (times a bakers dozen - again just sayin)
Mike Tyson (now what the heck was he thinking on that one, seriously... that thing is like something you do when you loose a bet in a frat house initiation)
Charlize Theron
Johnny Depp
Lady Gaga
Heidi Klum
50 Cent
As I said, this list is long and could go on and on, but you get my drift.  Why so much ink, one might ask.  I think it is because most actors/musicians are pretty passionate people and need an expressive outlet.  Some would say we artists have a tendency to go to extremes.  Yeah I guess that could be said.
I'm just glad I didn't choose to tat up some name I might grow to never want to see again somewhere that would be impossible to miss.  I for one am very glad I opted for a teeny little homage to one of my very favorite guys ~ Eric Cartman.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox

Saturday, August 13, 2011

30 Minutes or Less

Don't let this happen to you. Take matters into your own hands.
Breaking up is hard to do....  well not anymore.  So have you ever been in a relationship that was just not going anywhere?....  Knew it was time to jump ship, but just couldn't bring yourself to or know how to.  Well it seems almost everyone has been there, and yes even the Greek Girl.
I say if there is an elephant in the room, then just deal with it, and the sooner the better.  No sense dragging it on.  So here's a little cartoon I made for my song "What Do I Gotta Say" from my CD titled "Gone".  The song deals with exactly that topic, good love gone awry.  Hopefully after listening to the tune, you can break up in 30 minutes or less and keep the collateral damage to a minimum. :D (something in my noggin tells me that might just be a blog for another day).  Hopefully you can get out unscathed and figure out how to stop sleeping with the duct tape between you like Jennifer Aniston in the movie "The Break Up".

Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xo

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Another Hollywood Remake

If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It...
So was it just me or was anyone else sitting there saying to themselves "They're going to what, whatchutalkinboutwillis?!?!" When Yahoo splashed the news tidbit about Dirty Dancing being remade. This is again a case of a situation causing the Greek Girl to temporarily loose her filter. Seriously, note to Hollywood: STOP remaking movies and start finding original screenplays.
My only issue with this is that it doesn't "need" to be remade.  There is an old saying, "If it ain't broke don't fix it." Ah hello? Bueller, Bueller?  Anyone?  Is Hollywood listening?  For crying out loud there was talk about remaking Ferris Bueller and even The Breakfast Club.  Like I said, I get the idea of doing a remake, but at least do it from something from 50 years ago or at least a movie that in it's first go-round was not so hot.
So what is my point?  As an avid filmgoer and an actor I love to watch new movies. Nothing is better than watching a new story never before seen be told and unfold before your eyes.  Who wants to watch the new version of Grease or Dirty Dancing?  We know the story,  we know what happens,  we know how it ends, period.  There are tons of amazing screenwriters and screenplays just waiting to be made.  Is it so hard to think outside of the box and make an actual "original" movie vs. the "Hollywood formula" remake with the same 10 actors in it?
Okay, here are some movies I think are okay being remade:
  • Anything with Charlie Chaplin
  • Any silent movie
  • Three Stooges (in production now)
  • Little Rascals
  • Mr. Ed
Here are others that just cannot be remade (at least until they are 50 years old):
  • Dirty Dancing
  • Grease
  • The Outsiders
  • The Breakfast Club (they'll just ruin it with arbitrary nudity and crass language)
  • Rocky (any of them)
  • E.T.
  • Jaws
  • Ghost Busters
  • Back to the Future
You get my drift as this list can go on for infinity.  The point is it gets old seeing movies over and over as a remake with the same 10-15 actors.  Time for some originality Mr. Demille.
Blessings, Love & Music,
Ava xox

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Skinny Jeans Sabotage: Will This Make My Butt Look Fat?

I've worn Seven Skinny Jeans!!!
Ok had to look at the calendar on  my iPhone today when I walked into a store and saw rows and rows of,  get this - Halloween candy! We haven't even had that whacky Jerry Lewis hosting his annual Muscular Dystrophy Labor Day telethon yet, but now our favorite retailers  are filling the store shelves with what I call nothing but Skinny Jeans Sabotage (SJS) .
SJS is not just the fault of the big box stores. Oh no, it's bigger than that!
I grabbed a magnifying glass, put on my famous Greek girl detective hat, a new pair of sneakers and popped the Pink Panther CD into my car stereo and started investigating who is really behind SJS.
I found out that SJS is actually a full-blown conspiracy between the the candy companies and the retailers who pimp out the chocolate for them.  What do the pin head executives from the Mars candy company and the over paid executives from Target think would happen if they put 12 tons of Halloween candy on the shelves 3 1/2 months early? There is no way if you buy candy now you will have any left by Halloween. Even a hoarder would be out of candy within 3 1/2 months!
Well the Greek blonde girl is not a rocket scientist (but if you are a TV producer I will play one on TV if you want me too - have your people call my people)  Anyways, it doesn't take a detective or rocket scientist to know what will happen to all of that candy and where it will go once it leaves the store. It's going straight  to the rear ends and hips of women from Sante Fe to Syracuse - and thus causing many avoidable cases of Skinny Jeans Sabotage. Think about it, unless you are Mr. Bricks, who else thinks about buying twenty-two bags of miniature Snickers and Baby Ruth candy bars, unless it is to dump them into the pillow cases of little Trick-or-Treaters on October 31rst?
NOTE TO INNER SELF:  I can only pray to God that Mr. Bricks is never trying to squeeze his chunky monkey portly frame into a pair of skinny jeans.  I think I just vomited a little in the back of my throat thinking of that visual.  (Change the image in your noggin Ava, change the image in your noggin)
Do the powers-that-be-muckity-mucks who are in charge of marketing at the candy companies care about the problem of SJS? I think not. And you know what else this Greek girl thinks? I think it is all men who are doing this.  Now, I don't want to start bashing men in a Melissa Etheridge sort of way,  but seriously, no woman is going to tempt other women like that. Heck the women who work at the candy companies probably have their own issues with SJS, with all of the free candy that is most likely left around in the company break rooms.  I bet you don't see any females wearing skinny jeans on Casual Fridays at either the Hershey chocolate company or at the Mars company - just sayin'
So girls, you gotta be strong, just say no, and keep on walking past the candy they are tempting you with and head over to Zone bars or something more nutritious. Yummo.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Love at First Sight

Hello I am Ava Aston and I am addicted to Vitamin Water.
It all started one day as I was walking through the hot New York City streets on my way to a Law & Order audition.  My throat was parched and I had just realized I left my bottled water in my car that I just parked 3 blocks away.  Like any other blonde-greek girl I was running late and had to decide, do I go back or brave the heat? But knowing how important it was to me to be hydrated I had to do something.  Then I noticed one of the most amazing signs of my life.  It read, "Vitamin Water".
Hello???  As you all know, vitamins are like one of the most amazing things God has ever made and I am stuck on them like white on rice. So the thought of vitamins infused into my water was like a no-brainer.  So I stormed into the store, not sure what to expect as I raced past a screaming kid begging for candy and an old man scratching his lottery ticket.  Then I arrived.  I felt a cool chill flow over my skin as I peired through the frosted glass at what would soon become my now favorite beverage of choice.
The glass door squeaked open.  Time began to slow down.  A breeze from the back of the cooler wafted my sweat laiden brow.  I reached in and took hold of the cold plastic bottle.  Then without skipping a beat as I let the door slam closed I twisted the cap and poured the sweet Vitamin water aka nectar from the Greek Gods across my lips and down my throat.  And yes, I let out an audible sigh of relief. "aaaahhhh"!  It was love at first gulp.
So I strode up to the register passing anyone in my way.  I handed the clerk a half empty bottle of Vitamin Water.  He looked at me like I was deranged.  It was either he didn't know why I was buying a half-empty bottle or that I looked like one of those girls in a Clairol commercial where you have your own luminous glow and a perfect grin as your hair flows arbitrarily around for no explainable reason.  So I slapped the $5 bill on the counter, accepted my change and raced out the door.
The rest of the day was a blur but I was in love and I was hooked.  The only problem was it was the only thing I wanted to drink.  This sent my head spinning.  So I had to do something to avoid paying $2 for each bottle.  This sent the Greek girl on a hunt that turned up a goldmine solution.  I found a local distributor who agreed to sell it to me for $.80 per bottle if I bought 10 cases or more.  So, I did.  Now because I am a little Greek Girl I didn't want to go alone, so I hauled mom along for the ride (just in case), because no one messes with my mom.
We arrived at the distributor out in the middle of nowhere in my Volkswagon.  The Vendor was looking at me like I had a hole in my head.  I told him I had a hole in my heart and that only Vitamin Water would fill it.  By the way, I don't think it's a coincidence that two of my favorite things in the world both share the same initials, "VW".  Just sayin'

This is a never-before-seen image revealing my secret stash. Sssshhhh!!! Don't tell anyone!!!
Since then I have continued to hunt out deals.  I also must add, that I have since switched exclusively to Vitamin Water Zero.  Even though, they have to date not broguht my absolute FAVORITE flavor in the world "Energy" to the Zero line yet... It was so bad at one time I literally traveled with a case in my suitcase wherever I went.  This was in case I couldn't buy it at my destination.  Then one time I actually bought 20 cases before moving to Los Angeles and loading up the back of my Penske truck with them.  That is a story for another day.  Trust me you want hear that one.  Until then, drink up my friends! Drink up & get your glow on!
Love, Blessings & Music,
Ava xo