Saturday, October 30, 2010

Things that make you go hmm

Have you ever had a moment where you see something that is just so bizarre and so out there that it makes you stop breathing for a second? No, me neither. But there are times when I walk by something and then think to myself -- Wait a minute, did I just see what I think I thought I just saw? Most of the time I keep walking because I don't want to embarrass myself by turning around for a second peak. With it being so close to Halloween I thought I would blog today about things that make you go hmm.
Like Reptile Man.
Enigma Man.

Because I live just 10 minutes outside New York City I go there frequently for auditions (and shopping) and I have had my share of personal "What The Heck" was that moments. Most recently it involved a taxi cab driver and festish stockings...that's all I'm sayin'.  That is of course right after shaking hands with the man with 3 thumbs.  No I am not kidding and that is a blog for another day.  Just know this, shaking that hand did make me freeze.
Sometimes those bizarre moments also happen online. From time to time someone will send me an email with an enticing subject line like OMG! Have you see this?-- Well, I don't know about  you my fellow bloggers, but when I see that I just can't ignore it. I always have to open it to see what the fuss is all about. Note: I'm Blonde, I'm Greek and I'm a tad gullible, but I also have a great Virus checker on my computer (and I use a Mac),  so no worries my techie friends.
Nowadays with the internet and with Photoshop it sometimes makes it hard to believe what you are actually seeing because so many things are digitally enhanced. Take for instance the viral video that is all of the rage this week called The Charlie Chaplin Time Traveler.
First let me say, I do not need to promote this video any further because in about 10 days this video has had an amazing 3.1 million views on YouTube alone. The story has been a media sensation and has been featured on every major news outlet around the world.
It is interesting to note that the term "Charlie Chaplin Time Traveler"  now has more Google searches than "Lindsay Lohan Arrested", "Charlie Sheen In Domestic Violence Dispute" and "The Most Boring World Series" combined.
From the get go, when a friend emailed me the video and I watched it I thought something was fishy. First off, this dude from Belfast, Ireland who made this "discovery" just so happens to be a film maker who also just happens to have a new film coming out. Coincidence, I think not.
You can even see it in the screen shot of this original YouTube video he posted and then he takes a close up shot with the video cam of a movie one sheet (poster) for the movie, "Battle of the Bone" that he just made. After that he chats about all of his upcoming movies that will be coming out soon. Then, in trueShamwow fashion, there is a chyron graphic overlay with the website URL for the film festival this guy runs.
Maybe some people are buying into it, but not this Greek girl. I think it's a good old fashion publicity stunt from an Irish bloke to promote his fledgling Yellow Fever production company. I won't be a bit surprised if it turns out that he digitally enhanced the mysterious time traveller into the clip and that it doesn't even exists in the Chaplin movie at all. My sources tell me that the film, Charlie Chaplin's The Circus is in the public domain. If that is the case then the Steven Spielberg wannabe can do whatever he wants with it.
I know it is not polite to stare, but sometimes a human oddity or an unexplained circumstance can be like a car crash on the Long Island Expressway, you don't wanna look, but you do it anyway.
I know if I was having lunch at McDonald's with my manager Mr. Bricks as he  downed yet another McRib  (Don't worry, I won't touch either one of them. Mr. Bricks or the McRib) and a lady had a nose in the shape of a pig or the guy in this photo walked in

how in the world am I supposed to not stare? The Dude has a Mini-Me with a receeding hairline growing out of the top of his head.
Thank goodness it wouldn't of been me eating a McRib because at that moment if a dude like this wax figure walked in I honestly think there would have been some serious tossing of my cookies going on...  I'm just sayin'.
Well, now that I have given you sufficient things to ponder for the day, my job here in the blogosphere is complete for the day.
Have a happy and safe Halloween tomorrow...and don't believe everything you see!!
Ava xox

Paper or Plastic or idle Chit Chat?

Have you ever gone through the check out line at your local grocery store, only to get unwanted commentary on your purchases from the sales clerk?
A few weeks ago I felt like I was coming down with the flu. I had a gig in two days and I didn't want to take any chances of getting sick.  So I made an emergency midnight pharmaceutical run.  After loading up my cart with 12 bottles of Vitaminwater Zero, Smart Water, Airborne and some "EmergenC".  The clerk picks up the Airborne and says, "Does this junk really work? I've been sneezing all day and I think I'm ready to hack up a lung!"  Meanwhile I'm thinking... "Nope I'm just out here buying it so I can keep you company and stimulate the economy"....
One time I was going through the line and I had a half-gallon of lactose free skim milk, Vitaminwater Zero (again. I love that stuff) and a Minute Maide frozen lemon juice, and some "Truvea" brand Stevia sweetener. The snipity sales clerk said, "Oh I see you're on a liquid diet."  Never mind I only weigh a buck 17 soaking weight and the sales clerk was easily line backer material for the Patriots, I'm just sayin'
Then there is always those awkward moments when the 16 yr. old male cashiers like say at Target for instance come across a bra and or panties. I remember a time I was being hit on by one such 16 yr. old male checker, he was using his "A" material on me I could tell.  Flattering as I could see him working overtime to build a rapport with me.  It was all fun and games until the bra & panties started rolling down the conveyor belt towards him. He froze like a 5 point buck on opening day of hunting season. His Colgate smile and continual glare into my eyes was replaced with a frozen jaw and a constant look toward his sneakers. A brazier and some undies made him totally lose his mojo. I think he was just thankful they scanned on the first swipe, other wise he may have been scarred for life.
Last winter I was heading to a birthday party and was doing my part by picking up some turkey hotdogs & buns. (cuz I don't eat regular hot dogs, yucky, just sayin') The out-of-touch cashier told me to, "Enjoy the barbecue." I'm thinking, Ummm, Dude, it's snowing outside.
Makes me only want to use the self-check-out line so I won't have to go into a long dissertation of why I am buying Turkey Pepperoni, Wish Bone Light Ranch Dressing, Strawberries and a jumbo size box of Milk Bone Brand of Dog Treats.  Anyone feel what I am sayin' here?
Have a great Friday! Come back and see me often...I'll be here in the salt mines writing away.

Switzerland for A Day!

I know I'm Greek, not Swiss, but my manager Mr. Bricks keeps asking me each night if he can get advanced copies of my blog. He says he wants to ensure that I am not going to say anything that might hurt record sales or damage my rocker chick image. (I think he is just insecure about what I might say about him.) Hey, it was his idea for me to start a blog -- look who's laughing now Mr. Bricks. The blonde girl is.
As you may have noticed in many of my blogs I write things about Mr. Bricks that I don't want him to know about. So I always post them after he has left his office for the day. That way by the time he reads them it's too late to change anything, because they have already been posted. I'm Greek, not dumb, just sayin'
So today to please my manager, I will continue to be as Switzerland (aka diplomatic) as I can be. But as a special treat you will see my original thoughts, that will be crossed out, then you'll be able to read what it would have said if I would have let Mr. Bricks edit it.  You'll see why I won't let him! This is kinda fun, I hope you enjoy. Here goes.
Wow, I wonder what muckery I can get into today? Today I think I will go volunteer at the local nursing home.  Oh crap, my Facebook account is screwed up AGAIN!! Mark Zuckerberg is such a brilliant guy. I just love Facebook.
The weather is so crappy outside, I'm in a bad mood so I think I will just sit inside and eat up all of the Halloween candy. Since it's so chilly out, I think I'll stay inside, sip some tea and write some sappy love songs by the fireplace!
I am so mad at my manager, Mr. Bricks.  Who does he think he is, Colonel Tom Parker? I am so lucky to have Mr. Bricks representing me. He always schedules radio interviews for me at the butt crack of dawn. What a great, hard-working manager he is.
I just love the Goo Goo Dolls' new cd. Have you downloaded my cdGone yet? I can't wait to see them in concert again. I can't wait to perform on stage with the Goo Goo Dolls some day. They totally rock!! I love being a rocker chick.
I think I need a vacation. I wish I was touring non-stop. Maybe I will go away on vacation and never come back. I wish I was touring non-stop. Maybe I should go hiking in Nepal for a couple of months? I wish I was touring non-stop.
Well you get the idea...its a good thing that I get to write the blog each day and not Mr. Bricks!
Have a wonderful day!

Howloween has gone to the dogs!

NOTE:  This blog has been hacked by Punkin

Do I have the words "stupid dog" stamped on my forehead?...wait a minute, do I even have a forehead???
Psssssssst, its me Punkin, and the rest of the Aston canine clan -- BoBo, Itty Bitty and Pookie. Hey, this is my third time in as many weeks to hack into my Doggie Mom Ava's Mac Book Pro and hijack her blog.  Her original password was my name  "Punkin."   That was only natural because I am her favorite and #1 dog. So, the next day after she read my blog she cleverly changed the password to "Pookie", you can read all about that episode right here.
Well  I'm no Mark Zuckerberg but it did not take a genius to figure out she was most likely gonna change the password again to another one of my canine siblings.  So with my little paws I typed in the letters  I-T-T-Y-B-I-T-T-Y and then I saw this logo thing appear on the screen

I don't know why Ava has a giant half-eaten apple  on her screen but for me,it's Mission Accomplished I hacked in again. So, I'm back and I just had to write you all out there in blogsphere  because, well  we're in dire straits here.  Guess what Ava did today? I will give you a clue, look at this picture

Do any of us look happy? No. We are not happy campers anymore. Look closely, I think she is trying to get her own designing show on HGTV or Bravo by putting these cheesy little gourds, Indian corn, pumpkins and squash things next to us. Is she taking our picture or getting ready to serve us for dinner??

Yah, were pissed alright.  I knew something was up when she said we all were going to Petco. We haven't done that in a couple of months since Pookie had that unfortunate incident with A  Lhasa Apso.  Anyway, Ava took us to Petco and bought us these costumes for Howloween.   Now, I use to love to go to there like any other dog.  At the store we all got free treats, we could get our picture taken, we could play with the toys and sniff the butts of other hot looking doggies who were there.  But now, well, I hate Petco.  They are evil. Most likely a Liberal style of company who profits off of  the humiliation of canines by selling Howloween costumes for dogs.  Hmmm, wonder if they ever heard the phrase, don't bite the hand that feeds you. Our Doggie Mommie always uses that one on us when she wants to make us feel guilty for not doing what she wants.

Next time I go to Petco I think I'm going to "have an accident" right at the front door. Although it won't be an accident, if you know what I'm sayin'.  Maybe it will make some people stop and not go in.  Anything to do my part for the species.
Ava  just didn't stop with buying us these costumes. She also sent our buddy, Sunny, who is Mr. Bricks' dog, a costume. Sunny just tweeted me this twitpic of him that Mr. Bricks took.  Embarassing.

Since I now have your undivided attention, I have further business I need to discuss with you.  This is important, so listen up.  I want to let you know that if you are a little kid and you are reading this, and you plan to come to my house to go trick-or-treating you are screwed.  Mom's already starting to dip into the trick-or-treat stash of candy.
Look what I saw in her hands today after she came back from a run.   

And then there is this photo piece of evidence

At this rate, by Sunday she will be fresh out of candy. Look for her to start handing out raisins or pennies then.

We all have had enough of the humiliation. We know if we stick around here, she will end up dressing us like Pilgrims for Thanksgiving.  So Sunny is going to run away from Mr. Bricks house and we all are running away from here. We're going to  meet up in Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Stay tuned....


ruff ruff

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Killed The beast

From my vantage point in the other room, I can see it sitting there. Quiet and unassuming as it occupies a seat on my Grandma Pauliene's newly upholstered red velvet chair.
As I sneak up upon it, I can hear the theme song to Jaws playing in my mind.  With reckless disregard I reach out with my bare hands and I grab it.  To my surprise, it grabs back.  A small fight ensues. The Jaws' music gets louder and faster. With my lead, the altercation moves from the front hallway to the kitchen. I head to the kitchen because I know they are plenty of sharp objects in there to help me destroy the Beast.
My breathing is getting deeper. I am unsure if I can do what I need to do. Thank goodness for those months of Jillian Michaels' kick-my-butt workouts as I can feel my core strength being tested to the max. With my right hand still holding onto the Beast, I free my left hand just long enough to grab a pair of kitchen scissors from the wooden butcher block of knives.
In what I can only best describe as part Karate Kid and part Kung Fu with a little Edward Scissorhand move thrown in; I kick one leg into the air while swinging my body around with the scissors in my hand as I begin shredding the Beast.  I think grasshopper has learned well from the Master. I have beat the Beast and I have destroyed it.
Snip-cut-snip-cut-snip cut. The Beast is mortally wounded and now lying on the kitchen floor. I've made a mess. The Beast has taken its last breath and died an unceremonious death at my hands.
I did it. I killed the Beast for now. But I know like a bad B-Movie, a new Beast will emerge. I happens every day I go to the mailbox and find the unwanted beasts sitting in the bottom of the box, just waiting to be taken inside the house and left unattended.
But I will not let it have its way in my house. Not me. No way, No how. I will not let the Beast get the best of me because I've seen way too many episodes of Hoarders. I know that it all starts out simple enough. First the Beast comes in and sits around. Then it is joined by days and days of other Beasts. And then whammo, just like a New York City cock roach, the Beasts multiply and suddenly you a hoarding problem. Then you forget to take out your garbage for a few years, then you never clean your stove or refrigerator... And then to make you a full blown hoarder, you must get 26 cats and let them use the house as a litter box. Gross I know.
Remember, all hoarding problems starts with letting the Beasts inside your home. No, I'm not talking about roaches, bed bugs or mother-in-laws...I am talking about junk mail. Junk Mail = The Beasts.
Have you ever noticed whenever you move the very first piece of junk mail you get is from the local Dominos Pizza. I am convinced they shake down the mailman and get the names and address of anyone who has put in a change of address card the minute it happens. A few years ago I got an apartment in Brooklyn. The very first day I was moving in, before my name was put on the mailbox, I received a 11x 6 postcard from Dominos welcoming me to the neighborhood, and it was addressed to Ava Aston. My Mom didn't even have my new address, but Dominos Pizza did. That's messed up.
So then the pizza coupons were followed by offers to get my carpet cleaned. If I just moved in why would I want my carpets cleaned? Then the junk mail gets really stupid. Flyers and junk to fix everything from plumbing to cracked windshields.  I can not also stress enough how annoying those blue envelopes are that are filled with 200 coupons from every business that you will never use in a 1,000 mile radius.  STOP! I don't want your stupid coupons. And although it was a very clever marketing ploy by making the envelope the exact same shade of blue as Tiffany & Co, I didn't fall for it. I knew I wasn't getting a coupon for $1.75 off my next trip to Tiffany's.
I have learned that one way of stopping many of the unwanted junk mail is to opt-out. You can contact  the Direct Marketing Association at their website and opt-out. I think it costs a $1.00, but well worth it.
I hope you can also control the Beast.

My Amazing Race

I called up my manager Mr. Bricks and said that I wanted to go on the next season of The Amazing Race. His response was, "Oh Ava, I don't think I would ever be able to finish it, I would not want to let you down." For a million dollars, I'd whip his butt into shape and he'd be finishing every leg of that race, that's for sure!
I am an athlete, I'm a super strong competitor and I'm Greek. Which translated means other players would have to look out for this blonde girl.  Mr. Bricks on the other hand is not an athlete, is built like SpongeBob SquarePants and he doesn't understand Greek humor at all. Which translated means total muckery.
I am sure it would truly be an amazing race going around the world with Mr. Bricks, I am just not sure that it would be a race that would be amazing in a good way. And I'm a bit of a germaphobe so I'm not touching his backpack. Know what I'm sayin'?
On The Amazing Race 17  I am rooting for the doctors, Kat and Nat. They have come in first place the last two weeks, and I think they are an incredibly strong team and will be all season. They once said that their strategy for the amazing race is that no matter what, never ever give up. I can relate to that as I share a similar motto in my life and career. I can only imagine what Mr. Bricks' strategy would be --"never ever stop for donuts during the race." I'll be honest, I am not sure if Mr. Bricks could pass up a pastery shop. I think his DNA is wired for cream puffs, maple bars and anything with sprinkles on top.
I do like most of the teams this year, however I wasn't too impressed with the a cappella boys, Jonathan and Connor. Despite the fact that both are Princeton University graduates they seem a little geeky to me. They are also not my favorite team because they remind me of a bad episode of Glee and I'm not very fond of that show. Glee's characters aren't good role models for high school students. I get totally disgusted that the television networks have a great opportunity to portray positive role models and they usually don't. No wonder the young kids of todays are so messed up. It's all Glee's fault.
A great deal of the success on Amazing Race for the teams can be had by keeping calm and logically thinking things out. That is why I expect Nat and Kat to go all of the way and win Amazing Race 17. As doctors, they need to think methodically about what they do every time before they work on their patients. Another important aspect of their job is to act quickly because human lives are at stake. However, not so much for the job description for those two Home Shopping Television chicks, Brook and Claire. Their job description is just to talk crap all day long...annoying.
I do admire the teams when it is a family team, like a parent and a child racing together. What an incredibly great bonding experience for them it must be to travel the world together. However I'll ixnay on that bonding experience with my parents. I love them dearly, I just know it would never work trying to race around the world with them. Besides, the show is called the Amazing Race , not the "Amazing Homicide."
Having the right partner is a critical component of winning. The more I think about it, the more I would rather go with my Sweetie, than Mr. Bricks. I do believe Mr. Bricks, would be the one obstacle that would keep me from winning. So I'm sorry to tell you Mr. Bricks, but you have been eliminated from the Amazing Race.
Ever wonder where the actual losers go once they have been eliminated? Instead of calling it Loserville, they have an uplifting name for it called the Elimination Station. Here is a sneak peek inside the Elimination Station.  Click here
Have a great week, Blessings!
Ava  xox

10 Random Thoughts by Ava Aston

1. Why do so many bloggers use the word random in their blog title at least once a week?
2. Is it just a coincidence that A & E advertises their show Billy The Exterminator during Hoarders.  Can you tell I am obsessed with  the show Hoarders?
3.  I chew 5 -6 pieces of gum all at once. Do you?
4. Smoking is a nasty habit. Why do smokers freak out and start  fanning the air like a bunch of killer bees has descended upon them when the smoke starts coming towards them? Don't they know where the smoke is coming from? It's coming from their own butt? (pun intended!)
5. Fantasia has her own reality series...why? Word.
6. Some idiot made up a fake Facebook profile using my name and picture.  Get a life dude.
7.  Do all TV meteorologists have a hint of sarcasm in their voice when they announce possible snow in October?
8. Food prepared by others always tastes better. Unless it was prepared by Mr. Bricks.
9. If I ever cop a bad attitude and a sense of entitlement like Lindsay Lohan has, please shoot me.
10. A week from today could be one of the most important election days in modern times. I hope you make the right choice.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Is it a Full Moon?

All of the lunar calendars are saying that a full moon is scheduled for October 23, 2010 or October 22, depending on which chart you look at. Epic Fail. Based on the kind of day it was yesterday with all of the inbound muckery, I would say the rocket scientists and astronomers missed it by a couple of days.
When I was  younger I use to call the moon the night sun. Ok, quit laughing at me it was when I was little...well, alright I was in high school, but I was only joking. My family still teases me about that.
Seriously, yesterday was a drama filled day usually reserved for days when there is a full moon at night.  When I looked out last night the moon looked pretty full to me. I should have known that something was up yesterday because Mr. Bricks eyes were actually looking normal.  No wandering eyes. What's up with that? Do you think the alignment of his eyes is based on the lunar calendar? That would be pretty freaky, but with Mr. Bricks, nothing would surprise me.
OK, so I  had to make change my dental appointment yesterday and it was like I was trying to relocate the gold from Fort Knox to Tampa, Florida. If I had to push one more button on my cell phone yesterday afternoon to hear a prerecorded messgae say "to hear a message in English, press 1", I think my ears were going to start bleeding. It was really the number of times I had to do it within the same conversation that annoyed me, not the fact that there was an option. What did they think? That during the middle of the conversation I decided I wanted to hear the rest of the message in Vietnamese? Come on people, think.
So, Punkin and my other dogs were also acting really weird yesterday. They were all  huddled on a bench together and when I walked in the room I heard Punkin say,  "shhhhh, here she comes" and then they all just stared at me as if nothing was going on. Ge'ez, nothing like them ganging up against me.

 I think they might have some doggie shenanigans up their sleeves. I just know they are up to no good, but I can't prove it yet.
So according to the lunar charts, either tonight or tomorrow will be the next full moon. That means there is still plenty of muckery ahead for the next couple of days.
I don't want to sound like a Debbie Downer because some cool things are happening with my career. And I wrote a really cool new song and I got the new car. So I guess overall, I do feel really blessed.  Happy Friday!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

OMG! My mom is trending on Twitter

Can you think of anything scarier than logging onto Twitter and seeing that your own Mom is a trending topic on Twitter? Now that's a thought that kinda makes me vomit a little in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom to death. But I really don't want the whole world talking about her in 140 characters or less. She's my Mom, and well I just think somethings are private and shouldn't be fodder for Twitter.
Here are also a few other tweet topics I hope I never see trending on Twitter:
  • Chicken McNugget Shakes
  • $h*! My Dog Leaves
  • MrBricks Girlfriends
  • Days of Our Lives Cancelled
The whole reason this came up today is when I was  getting ready to Tweet something about my songs being on iTunes I noticed that #HueyLewis was trending. I'll be honest, the first thing I thought was that he had died! I mean this week I saw #BarbaraBillingsley and  #TomBosley both trending because they died. I hate to say it, but you all know how they say celebrities die in threes, right? Well, I just figured Huey's time was up and he was dead celebrity #3.  Why else was he trending?  But thank goodness for the Power of Love fans around the world, when I Googled Huey Lewis I learned that he wasn't dead. In fact he was alive and well and singing the National Anthem at the Giants / Phillies game.
Then I got mad. I mean Mrs. Cleaver and Mr. C deserved to be trending Twitter topics because they have both given us hundreds of hours of laughs. And what better way to pay our digital respects than to Tweet our favorite memories of them to our friends.
But Huey Lewis trending for singing the National Anthem at a ball game? I don't think so. Look, I've sung the National Anthem at a boatload of professional sporting events and it never trended, nor did I expect it too. So whats the big deal with Huey? But then I realized why he was trending... I think it's because when people saw Huey Lewis on TV tonight, they started tweeting their friends saying things like,  Dude, I didn't know Huey Lewis was still alive?,  Who is this old guy singing? or  Wow, did you see those jets do a fly by over the stadium when that dude was singing? Awesome!
On Saturday when Mr. Bricks actually tweeted me that Barbara Billingsley had died I was sad for him. He was lucky enough to be able to call her a friend.  He told me a story that the last time he saw her was about a year a half ago.  Mr. Bricks said Barbara was 92 and she looked stunning in her heels and pearls!!  Mr. Bricks said when he went up to give her a hug she leaned into him and whispered into his ear, "Mr. Bricks, tuck in your shirt tail,  you don't want to look like a slob." Spoken like a real mom!
Quick Trivia: Leave It To Beaver is syndicated all over the world and it has never gone off the air since it debuted on October 4, 1957 and went into syndication.  Somewhere around the world it is always playing. You can thank Mr. Bricks for that little piece of trivia. He is full of useless crap like that!
Speaking of Barbara Billingsley, I'd be remiss if I didn't include her clip from the movie Airplane where she spoke Jive.
Clip from the movie Airplane where Barbara speaks Jive

Yes Mrs. Cleaver you will be missed by Mr. Bricks and millions and millions of fans around the world. You were the best TV Mom ever. And I'm so glad my Mom is still around so I can pick up the phone and call her anytime. I just don't want her to ever be a trending topic on Twitter for any reasons. It kinda wigs me out that she even has a Twitter account. Know what I'm sayin'?  I Love you Mom!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It Gets Butter

I hate to be a copy cat. But I feel I should also speak up about bullying around the dinner table.  I am proof to say it gets butter.
As you all know, I am very health conscience. But it wasn't always that way. When I was younger I was a little butterball. I did get bullied a bit in school for being a chunky kid. Fortunately for me, my arms and legs grew to match the rest of my body and so the teasing stopped. I'm telling you this because in no way do I want anyone to think that I am making fun of the issue of bullying! Hey, I've been there and  it's not fun.
But now I try to work out everyday and I am very careful about what I eat. I am on stage and in front of the public all the time, so I want to always look good and try to be in the best shape as possible. Bullying still exists with adults. It's not just limited to teens and children. I was glad to see blogger Perez Hilton publicly say he was going to try to not be such a bully to celebrities on his website anymore. The press can also be a bully at times. Although I am not a fan of Lady Gaga, I have seen the pictures of her floating around the internet and the press is saying unflattering things about her packing on the pounds! That is such an uncool thing to say about anyone.
I hope no one is circulating pictures of me saying I've put on a few extra pounds! I'll have to kick their butt, know what I'm sayin'? So having a healthy public image is part of my job description and one of the reasons I have adopted such a healthy lifestyle, but only a small reason.  The main reason I do it is to be healthy and to live as long as I can. Everyone's going to have to put up with this Greek Blonde for a very long time. And Greeks have a very long life expectancy.
That's another important message I would like to get out to everyone, especially young girls. Young girls should know that there are way more important things in life than trying to look like a supermodel. If you want to work out, then great do it to be healthy, not to compete and compare yourself with other girls' appearances. God made you the beautiful person that you are.
All I know is that I don't want to do a 90-minute Jillian Michaels' DVD work-out for nothing. I mean why come close to death 15 times during the work out and then immediately afterwards eat a bag of Nacho Flavored Doritos, washed down with a 2 litre Diet Coke?  Who do you think I am, Mr. Bricks?
Back to the blog....I love butter. I love butter almost as much as I love ketchup. But if I put as much real butter on everything that I would like to, you would see them tying ropes around my body and I would float like one of those huge balloons in The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, I'm just sayin' this girl loves her butter. But as I said, I have gotten smart about what I eat.
So, for my butter fix, I have found a healthy alternative. It's called Smart Balance Light Original Buttery Spread with Flax.  Its delicious buttery taste with 50% fewer calories than butter or regular margarine. (I sound like a commercial don't I?) -- It's delicious buttery taste with 50% fewer calories than butter or regular margarine.
The manufacturer  of Smart Balance Light Original Buttery Spread with Flax has listed some other healthy key selling points on their website:
  • Supports healthy cholesterol levels that are already within the normal range
  • Made with a unique blend of natural oils that improves the ratio of “good” HDL to “bad” LDL
  • 50% less fat and calories than butter or stick margarine
  • Delicious, creamy buttery taste
  • No hydrogenated oils
  • No partially hydrogenated oils
  • 0g trans fat
  • No palm kernel oil
  • Excellent source of Omega-3 ALA (320mg per serving, 20% of 1,600mg daily value)
  • Good source of Vitamins A and E
  • Gluten-Free
  • Gelatin-Free
  • Vegan
So if I want some butter on my baked potato I don't feel guilty. A baked potato, as I have said before, is a super food and I probably have 6 or 7  baked spuds a week. Imagine if I had them all smothered with real butter. I would be a real oompa-loompa.
So folks, now you know when it comes to the issue of butter how I roll. I don't do without it on my baked potato, it gets butter!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My Right To Blog

I'm Greek. I have a tendency to want to explain why I do anything and everything. I've been writing songs my whole life, but this blog thing is a whole new animal for me.  So I really do appreciate the encouragement.
Today I think I want to talk about why I am writing this blog. When I was doing my workout my mind was going over everything I had to get done. I thought to myself why am I also committing to writing a daily blog? But after thinking about it in-between the lunges and the cardio moves I realized that I am doing this for several reasons. (Yes I often have these internal conversations with myself.)
First off, by sharing what's going on in my life there are now people all over the world who have to put up with the same muckery I do. I guess I don't quite feel so alone anymore. Hey, a big shout out to my blog readers in Ambon, Indonesia!
I figure this is way cheaper than paying for therapy. There also isn't a doctor in a white jacket staring at me shaking their head in disbelief at what I am saying like there would be in therapy. At least I can write the blog and have no idea of who is rolling their eyes as they read it. Ignorance is bliss. (Disclaimer) Well, I must admit I actually don't know if a therapist would shake their head in disbelief from my muckery because I have actually never gone to therapy. I think the closest I've ever come to therapy is having lunch with my manager Mr. Bricks and he was rolling his eyes the entire time. Now that I think about it, maybe Mr. Bricks has that medical diseases called Strabismus, it is a disorder  where it looks like a person has a "lazy" or "wandering eye."  Note to self: Ask Mr. Bricks why do his eyeballs wander all over his face.
OK, that was me being a little silly. Guess what? That's the great thing about a writing blog. It's just like real life!! It's not suppose to be serious all of the time. I love to laugh and goof off, as much as I like to work really hard. So I do get a little silly on here especially if I am writing early in the morning before I have had my coffee, so  reader be warned....No Coffee and the horns come out. I'm just sayin'
I remember in school when the teacher would ask who would want to come up in front of the class and read a short story they just wrote, my hand was always the first one up in the air. My Teacher Mrs. Dawson would say, "OK, Ava we have heard quite a few of your stories, don't you think we should share and let the rest of the class read some of their stories?"  I was like, "No."
Blogging is great for me because I've always had way more things to say, than places to tell them. That is why I started writing and recording my songs at such an early age.  All of my little girl friends (the imaginary and real ones) would be wanting to play dress up with their dolls and I would be sitting crossed legged on my bed with a pencil and a notebook writing songs. No wonder my life seems so mucked up, maybe I didn't have a normal childhood after? No, I had a fabulous childhood.
I can let more of my personality out on this blog. It's not that I am trying to be wicked funny, because I don't think I'm funny at all. Although, when I am on stage I am pretty entertaining, or so I have been told. I just try to always do my best. Wicked funny or not.
I've done a heck of a lot of radio interviews lately and the Dj's or radio hosts are kinda left scratching their head after my segment is done. They all keep saying I have way too much energy for such a petite little girl. I keep reminding them...I'm Greek.  I'm not just going to sit somewhere and not talk. I can't do it. If I had to sit somewhere and be quiet for very long I think I would just burst into flames. People would be like..."What was that?" And someone would say, "Oh Ava Aston just exploded again." If God didn't want us to talk he wouldn't have given us a mouth to talk with and ears to listen with. I can't help it if he supersized my mouth!  And while we are on the subject...I don't get why they would ever call me a little girl. What, do I look like I am a 2-year-old for Pete sake? I bet I could kick their butt any time, any place if I had to... I'm just sayin'  I'm tougher than I look. I'm not no girly girl, but I do clean up pretty nice.
So where we're we? Oh yah, I was talking about why I blog.
I blog because I have to.
Have a blessed Day,
Photo Image of Ava Aston  Copyright 2010 Ava Aston All rights reserved.

Frosted Flakes and Hot Cocoa

This an open letter to Old Man Winter
Dear OMW:
I know who you are, and I know what you are doing. This isn't my first time at the rodeo.
Each year you waltz into my life as if we were lost lovers. News flash you're not my BFF, I would never friend you on  Facebook and if you're looking for a tweet from me on Twitter you're in for a long wait.  You're in the weather business, have you ever heard of the expression, "When Hell freezes over?"...I'm just sayin'
Oh sure, we had a little courtship when I was 4 years old and I would run outside to greet you.  I would draw pictures of a heart on the iced over car windows and I really loved to make angels in the freshly fallen snow you left me. You were a cool guy back then and I liked hanging around you. You made things so different for me from the long hot summers I had to endure living in upstate New York. Yah, I thought you were fun and cool, but what did I know about relationships back then? I was just a baby, I was still drooling on myself for crying out loud.
But I have grown up a lot since then Mr. Winter, and I do not like you or your best friend Jack Frost. Both of you literally send chills up my spine.
Do you know because of you, I must swap out  my entire wardrobe once a year? I'm a girl, if you haven't noticed Mr. Winter. I can't just throw on an extra old Nike T-shirt or wear a flannel shirt like a boy can. I need totally different clothes whenever you come around.  That's why I must have a whole separate closet just to accommodate all the things you put me through. Do you have any idea how expensive that is Mr. Winter? Do you even care Mr. Winter? I doubt it.  You have never even offered to pay off my Kohls' bill each winter....some gentleman you are.
So guess what I had to do today, Mr. Winter? I had to spend several hours of my valuable time swapping out my clothes from one closet to another. I knew it was time to do it because I have seen you lurking around my neighborhood. You are not so sneaky anymore in your old age Mr. Winter. I know you are stalking me because I can see the evidence you are back in town. There's the leaves on the ground, the long lines at the tire store and the snot running down little kid's noses. The evidence is there and it's all because of you. I hope you're happy, old man.
And now you are just teasing me with the beautiful fall days we had this weekend.  A nice crisp nip in the air is fine, in fact, it's perfect for my daily run. But a nor'easter blowing through town...not so much fun. I know how nasty you can be. I am a girl. I don't forget crap like that. I know you think I still want to court you, but I don't. It's over!
I have a new man in my life.  And today I'm going to sit down in front of the fireplace with my Sweetie, wearing a newly discovered sweater from my "winter" clothes while I sip a cup of hot cocoa.