Friday, February 24, 2012

Is You Husband Having an Affair With Danica Patrick

Has your man come down with "DOTNS"
I will be the first to admit that I think Danica Patrick kicks some major butt, definitely a cool chick in the Greek Girl's book. However what is not cool about Danica Patrick?  The fact that is that she has totally taken over my manager Mr. Bricks brain.  Which is kind of funny because, A. I never thought he had a brain and B. I never thought anything could mean more to him than the McRib sandwich, but it's true.  Bricks has what I like to call "DOTNS" or "Danica on the Noggin Syndrome."  This disease is very new and rare.
What is my problem with this you may be wondering?  Well, aside from the fact that it is hard enough to get the rolly polly dude to stay out of McDonald's long enough to focus on getting me a record deal - now he is all dreamy-eyed (and trust me - that is just weird - with his one lazy eye thing he has going on) about a stock car driver. It's like all he does all day long is mutter to himself, Danica, Danica, Danica....zoom, zoom, zoom. I kinda feel sad for him. I think his noggin finally left the building!
With Danica becoming so popular in NASCAR these days, I'm sure there are many wives and girlfriends out there who may be wondering... "hmmmm - is he?" Well, let me give you a few symptoms to watch out for - just in case you're concerned your man, manager of BFF might be possibly coming down with "DOTNS".
1.  His favorite colors are all of a sudden Bright Green/Black
2.  His favorite number used to be 13, it is now # 10
3.  He traded in his prized Corvette for a Chevy Impala
4.  He used to think NASCAR was just for hicks & hillbillys, now he Tivo's it
5.  He is all of a sudden very concerned about "Peak Brand Antifreeze", "COPD" and "Nationwide Insurance"
6.  He has Danica wallpaper as his desktop screen saver and a Danica mousepad
7.  He renamed his two goldfish Danica and Patrick
8.  He has pulled out his old Nintendo 64 and is playing "Pole Position"
9.  His office has Danica posters covering up Gold records
10.  He just purchased his 15th domain name from, just to get to see Danica's robostamped signature on the receipt
If you have noticed any or all of the above things happening to your man, I'm afraid to say that he most likely has come down with a case of "DOTNS" for which there is no known cure. I guess it could be worse. He could be infatuated with talk show host Larry King.
Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D xox


  1. Ava, very well put!However I don't have DOTNS cause I don't care to watch cars going in circles and always to the left LOL

  2. This is quite funny, you know. I really enjoyed reading this article though. I am surely going to check if my husband is indeed having an affair with that woman. Perhaps you might be interested in another article on how to find out if your husband is having an affair.