- Being Mark Zuckerberg - if only...
No I am not thinking of changing my name to Mark Zukerberg like that Rotem Guez who legally changed his name to Mark Zuckerberg and is currently in a heated lawsuit over something that Facebook deems inappropriate, (shocking I know). I mean does this guy really think he is going to scare Facebook by having to say they will have to "sue" Mark Zuckerberg? It's not only stupid but plain idiotic if you ask me.
What I am talking about is like the movie "Being John Malkovich". What? You never saw that movie starring John Cusack who is a floundering puppeteer who can't make anything of his career until a midget door on the 7 1/2 floor of some obscure office building allows him to enter into John Malkovich's brain and "become" him then only to be dropped out onto I-95 in New Jersey? If you haven't seen that movie then you won't get what the Greek Girl is talking about.
- What if you really could?
Here's what I am talking about. With being the 9th most powerful person you could do just about anything. John Malcovich is famous and all, but really wouldn't you rather be in the head of at least one of the top-10? In my version of Being Mark Zuckerberg I would find a portal in the back of Kohl's right near where I get my K-Cups for my new Cuisinart Keurig Machine. Then I would enter into the mind of Mark Zuckerberg and start work on making a special Facebook App that would be sent out to everyone on Facebook to come and "like" Ava Aston's Facebook Music Profile. (click here to do so now). This would immediately send several hundred million people to subscribe since I would also suggest it as well, (remember I am Mark Zuckerberg and people do what I tell them. Just look at Obama's election. Hello...?!?)
Then instead of going out to hunt bison or some free-range Buffalo like he swore he would do if he ever wanted to eat meat again, I would hire Chef Ramsey to cook me a dinner with Simon Cowell from American Idol and the X-Factor. Of course this would be a dinner that Jillian Michaels would approve of - because you know the Greek Girl loves to eat healthy. We would enduldge in a nice conversation about this amazing recording artist I recently found on Facebook and that she needs a "record deal" and that since I am not a "musical genius" like Simon is, that he should instead take her on as part of his record label. Then I would whip out my trusty iPad with the desktop image of Ava set as my desktop image and show Simon her Facebook page and how it now had million's of followers (since I just promoted her well me, with the new app I built).
Then with Simon eating out of my hands and wanting to sign on I would then insist that a private jet be sent out to her right away and have her flown back to LA where she will sign the papers and be given a handsome signing bonus sponsored by me, "Mark Zuckerberg" in the sum of "made out to cash" and in other words just send me the bill, it's on me. This would allow her the ability to promptly record a whole new Album under Simon Cowell's guidance. It would allow Ava to record with some of her favorites, Goo Goo Dolls, Sting, Daughtery, Mariah Carey, Kelly Clarkson and Rob Thomas. I would of course note that two of whom are artists he helped discover on American Idol.
Now I know the tricky part is, I would have to get out of Mark Zuckerberg's head just in time to get on the plane to meet Simon Cowell in LA but not before Mark Zuckerberg knew what had just taken place. So once Simon and I were off in our respective limo's I would have to jump out of his head. The great part is that instead of being dumped off on the side of some highway in New Jersey like John Cusack, I would be dropped off in the Bliss Day Spa in Soho NY. There I would be treated with the best services a girl could hope for, obviously paid for by me through Mark Zuckerbergs account, of course.
Then as the limo arrived I would be whisked away and off to LA to meet Simon Cowell and begin my worldwide whirlwind of a career as a rising superstar pop/rockstar. Autograph's for everyone and charitable causes would begin as I would donate everything I earned by giving back to so many that are in need. See I wouldn't need anymore of my royalties with the 1 million shares of Facebook stock I would've just wrote myself to have because when Facebook goes IPO next year I will be loaded to the gills.
But since I can't be Mark Zuckerberg and I am not on my way to LA to meet Simon Cowell (at least not yet anyway) I am stuck here like John Cusack trying to make it as a puppeteer. But instead I'm trying to make it as a rockstar. So, until I get my mysterious Facebook stock donation or Simon calls me up, I am working on getting my Kickstarter campaign funded. Who knows, Maybe Mark Zuckerberg or Simon Cowell will read this and want to pledge the remaining $15,000 to my campaign or better yet just sign me already so I can make some new music and kickstart my career into the stratosphere.
(A girl can dream can't she?)
(A girl can dream can't she?)
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