Friday, November 5, 2010

Invasion of the Body Scanners

Note: I am in Washington DC today singing at some Election Day rallies so this is just a quick post so you don't forget about me. :)
It is always my intentions everyday to find a unique and unusual way to expose the real me to the public, without having to go through one of those the body scanners at the airport! Nothing's worse than walking through that thing and then some perv peeps his head out a side door to get a better look at the person he just examined inside and out! It makes me feel so violated and it puts me in a bad mood.
With that said, to my knowledge, I have never woken up in the morning and announced to my Greek self, today I am going to be in a bad mood. It doesn't happen like that. Things usually go smoothly until the Muckery starts rolling in. Let me expose you to a recent day in the life of Ava Aston's Muckery:
Attempt to make coffee. Epic fail. Out of creamer.
Dog, Punkin vomits on bathroom floor while I'm in shower. I don't know about it until I step out of shower, into it. Gross.
Get towel and cleaner to clean up smashed vomit. Return to find vomit missing. Another dog, BoBo is sitting there. - Really Gross.
Plug in blow dryer. Fuse blows.
Leave house and head to Dunkin's for much-needed belated cup of coffee. Enjoy the first sip and then have a blonde moment and spill entire cup down the front of my new white suede-leather jacket. Jacket is ruined.
Return home to change. Greeted at back door by more dog vomit. I suspect this time it is from vomit eater BoBo.  Gross on so many levels.
Change clothes. Check email.  Get email from long-lost relative from Nigeria saying they want to give me my inheritance of $27 Million US Dollars. Hmmm, had no idea I had Nigerian blood in me, all this time I thought I was Greek. Sweet, I'm rich!
Return to running errands.
Go inside of little cute boutique I saw out of the corner of my eye while driving by. I find a kick-butt pair of boots. Inside way too long, come out and find a $242 parking ticket on windshield. (Expired meter, red zone and too far from curb.) Crap, very expensive boots. Oh wait...No worries, I just inherited $27 million dollars!
Gotta run....have a great day!!

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