Sunday, December 19, 2010

Mosey or Don't Mosey?

Ma and Pa mosey at the Mall
My manager Mr. Bricks said I need more fan interaction. So  in an attempt to be more social, while I was out shopping at the mall yesterday I tweeted and posted the following message on my Facebook Fan Page : "OK who was at the mall handing out the "crazy" pills? Then again I guess I deserve it, exactly what I thinking going to the mall the last Saturday before Christmas?"

I love Christmas shopping. I love the Christmas music blaring at inaudible levels throughout the mall. I don't even mind waiting in line to have my purchases rung up. It's a great people watching time. Also at this time of year people tend to be more cheery than at other times. Shoppers like the 50ish year old woman with the whisper thin moustache and chin hairs in front of me would normally have just kept to herself, but now at Christmas time she became nothing short of chatty Cathy doll with a broken off/on switch.

By observing the massive amount of feline hair stuck to her clothing I knew she was a "cat lady" long before she volunteered to me and everyone within and earshot that she rescues stray cats and has almost 100 in her 2 bedroom house. The problem with this is twofold:

  1. Pet hoarders always  under-estimate the number of cats by about 50%
  2. Her house is only a two bedroom house. To her defense she could also have a huge out building nothing short of the finest pet hotel on her  property.
I will bet you my Black Bean Soup from Panera that she doesn't have a facility like that on her property. Call it a Greek Girl's hunch!  But the Cat Lady (with her own whiskers) or the crazy people wandering around wasn't the real problem yesterday. It was the people who mosey at the mall.

When I'm out shopping,  I'm a Greek girl on a mission. I have things to see, bargains to find and places to go. Add 300,000 other people in the mall at the same time trying to buy their last-minute Christmas crap and it turns into chaos. That chaos turns into muckery when you get behind someone who decides to just mosey at the mall.

Yesterday I was at the mall trying to (no not find sneakers) but find a little stuffed toy dog for my niece Eva and it's like they just came over the mall intercom and said "Ok, it's mosey time." I don't roll in mosey speed. Never have, never will. I'm Greek. I'm a mile-a-minute type of girl. It's how I talk, it's how I shop, it's how I do everything.  So, I had a little fun and tried to put the people who mosey into several different groups:

  • (obviously) older people just out for a stroll - They have public parks for that. - just sayin'
  • Young mom's with infant kids
  • Teen boyfriend/girlfriend showing way too much PDA as they mosey around the mall.  They must be trying to get on that reality series, "16 & Pregnant."
  • Guys in their 60's who should be cross referenced with the local sex offender's registry -- just sayin' some of them were kinda creepy and gave me the willies. Especially the dude carrying a Hello Kitty shopping bag. That's just wrong on so many levels.
  • The Justin Bieber loving 'tween girls looking for cute boys
  • The Taylor Swift 'tween loving boys looking for hot girls

I take most of the responsibility for bringing this muckery onto myself. There is an old saying that my Mom used to tell me and my sisters when we were growing up. "Nothing good ever after happens after Midnight." The Greek Blonde Girl would like to add a new saying like that for people to live by. And it goes like this,  "There always will be muckery at the mall the on the last Saturday before Christmas. "


PS: You can stay away from the moseying, muckery and madness at the mall by ordering my CD'S.  Today is the last day to get the Christmas Bonus Buy special.

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