Friday, December 31, 2010

You Are The Weakest Link

Remember this curt sharp-tongued lady named Anne Robinson, who was the host of the game show called “The Weakest Link”? Her catch phrase after anyone was eliminated was a very quick and unceremonious "You are the weakest link -  good-bye!"
I was thinking how great it would be in real life I was a super hero and I had the secret powers where I could get rid of someone who was not pulling their own weight by simply walking up to them and saying, "You are the weakest link - good-bye!" No further explanation would be needed.  Poof, they would be gone.
How tempting would that be? Hmmm, where would I start? Well today I would have used it on the waitress at the diner who served me a cold cup of coffee.
Me: Excuse me Miss
Diner Waitress: (irritated and smacking gum) What do you want?
Me: ( sweet as pie) Well it seems that you served me cold coffee. Can I get a fresh hot cup?
Diner Waitress: (shrugs shoulders) Whatever
Me: (annoyed at the whatever response Oh, and there's one more thing.
Diner Waitress: (rolling eyes) What now?
Me: You are the weakest link -  good-bye!
POOF she is outta there!
Maybe as the Super Hero I would travel to Washington DC and do a little house cleaning! Poof they are outta there. Oops did I just say that out loud?
This super ability could also really come in handy when all of the relatives are around. 
Me: Hey, how have you been? I haven't seen you since our last family get together.
Generic Relative:  Well I'm doing Ok. You know, just hanging in there.
Me: So....have you found a job yet?
Generic Relative: No, the job markets sucks right now.
Me: yah, but it's been like 11 years now since you've worked.
Generic Relative: No, it's only been 10 I think.
Me: No, I'm pretty sure it's 11. It was before the New Millennium. So where are you living these days?
Generic Relative: Oh, you know just couch surfing with friends.
Me: (shocked) oh!
Generic Relative: (in a whispered voice) Well between you and me, if Granny would just keel over I bet she's leaving a bundle of dough for each of us! Then I wouldn't ever have to worry about a job and I could score my own pad.
Me: You are the weakest link -  good bye!
POOF they are outta there!
Of course that was just a joke. I love all of my fun-loving loud Greek relatives and I would never have to employ my secret abilities on any of them. But I might need to use it on my manager Mr. Bricks.
Me: Good morning Mr. Bricks
Mr. Bricks: Hey Ava. What's going on?
Me: You tell me Bricks. Do I have a record deal yet?
Mr. Bricks: No I am working on it.
Me: You are the weakest link -  good-bye!
POOF he is outta there!
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