There are some things that just don’t make sense in my little Greek noggin. Like why do some people call the things I wear on my feet tennis shoes when we all know their real name are sneakers? Do you see me running around with a tennis racquet? No. They are called sneakers thank you very much. I also wonder why people think it is ok to put cheese that comes out of a can onto their crackers? Hello, cheese is not supposed to come out of a can. Isn’t it supposed to come in a giant hunk or a wheel?
I am all about bending the rules and doing things in my own way, but you won’t catch this Greek girl spraying cheese on her Ritz. It just won’t happen. I know the commercials say “anything taste good on a Ritz” but sometimes I must put my foot down and just say no - I don’t roll like that.
The first time I saw spray cheese was when Mr. Bricks was making himself a snack from the craft service table on one of my recent photo shoots. I am unsure if Mr. Bricks’ lazy eye was wreaking havoc on him or if he has incredibly bad aim and totally missed the crackers. I caught him red-handed spraying the cheese from the can directly into his mouth, and skipping the whole “spray it on to crackers first” part. What’s up with that? What will he do next, eat the McRib before McDonalds cooks it?
When I confronted him it was like a little kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His lips were saying, “what I didn’t do anything” but his mouth was trying to swallow huge amounts of cheese very quickly. I was praying he didn’t start choking on the processed pasteurized cheese product because, well the thought of having to personally perform mouth-to-mouth on Mr. Bricks creeps me out beyond words and I knew full well that going with in and close proximately of his mouth I would be able to smell the cheese. Don’t get me wrong, I like cheese (in moderation) just like the next Greek girl does, but I DO NOT like smelling second hand cheese spray from a can on Mr. Bricks’ breath.