Thursday, March 31, 2011

10 Signs That Spring Is Right Around The Corner

Forget the fact that we are hunkering down for yet another snowstorm tomorrow in New York, there are still many signs that old man winter is just about ready to start hibernating with the bears... or least we hope he is.
From the far deep crevasses of my Greek noggin here are the top-10 signs that spring is just around the corner:
  1. Husbands are trying to figure out what shenanigans they can do to get that shiny new riding lawn mower at Home Depot without getting served divorce papers.
  2. All winter long I thought my four doggies were holding it...but now with all the snow melted I can see just how wrong I was.
  3. Major league baseball players are at spring training and placing their metabolic steroid orders with their favorite drug dealers.
  4. Snooki is limiting her dinner to only two plates of pasta in anticipation of swimsuit season at the Jersey Shore.
  5. Mr. Bricks will pack his beer bong and speedo and head to The Villages in Florida for Spring Break with the senior citizens. Muckery ensues.
  6. I'm packing away my Uggs for storage and swapping them out with my sneakers. (This winter was so brutal I hope to never see those Uggs again)
  7. The neighbors are finally starting to take down their Christmas lights.
  8. Middle-aged white men who haven't picked up a basketball in 30 years but have spent the last two weeks watching March Madness on TV suddenly feel compelled to challenge their friends to a game of 3-0n-3, Yes, middle-aged white men can't jump.
  9. NyQuil and other allergy medications becomes a staple on everyone's shopping list.
  10. Wal-Mart has just put out the Christmas decorations on their store shelves.

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