Thursday, May 19, 2011

Apocalypse Now in New York

Why is our Doggie Mama building an Ark?
We're just like other packs of dogs.  We think a good belly scratch cures most ailments, peanut butter and rawhides are super foods, a good roll in the mud never hurt anyone and we don't mind a little rain here or there. However, today in New York the rain has been anything but's been all here! Listen folks, we're not talking about a little sprinkle, it's been rainin' so flipping hard, little BoBo stepped in a poodle. Stepped in a poodle. Hello, can anyone hear us? hello, (tap, tap) is this thing on? We're using our "A' material here.
This wicked rainy weather normally wouldn't have even bothered us enough to get up from our naps to investigate, let alone worry about it. However something's not right here in the Aston house. Yes, that's not very easy to say when you have Ava Aston as your Doggie Mama, with her messed up Greek noggin and all. There is always some sort of muckery going on here. But for reals, this time something is really wrong.  And you know we are really good at predicting earthquakes and full moons. But not so good at predicting an upset stomach in time to get outside or which pair of sneakers we should chew on and not chew on. Our bad. So with our canine senses wound up as tightly as Ava's sinuses from her allergies, we feel that there is something going on. There has also been other several clues:
Clue #1
The other day when it started raining so hard our Doggie Mama was going around the house singing , "It's Hammer time, It's Hammer time." At first we just thought she was having a bad VH1 flashback or something. But Punkin said it was secret code for "It's time to build an Ark." Punkin is so smart.
Clue #2
On the calendar hanging in the kitchen Ava took a red felt pen and drew a giant red circle around May 21. She said it was for her concerts in Pennsylvania that day.  Oh really? What a convenient cover story. Those Greeks are so coy.
Clue #3
We were reading some of Ava's blogs from the past week and realized she had posted this:Judgement Day is May 21
Clue #4
We overheard Mr. Bricks tell our Doggie Mama that this rain was nothing, he was once in a really big flood when he was much younger.  We know Mr. Bricks is old because Ava calls him Old Man Bricks and were just trying to figure out if the flood he is talking about was about 7,000 years ago. Coincidence? We think not.
Hello, look at the calendar people it's almost May 21rst. Is there something Ava doesn't want to tell us? We're not stupid we're dogs, not cats! So, not only is it almost May 21rst, it's raining really bad and we think Ava singing "It's Hammer time" is all part of a secret plot for something more sinister, like perhaps the end of the world.
Here's our conundrum, we think the rules of an ark are that Ava will only be allowed to bring two of us on board. I guess it's written down like that in the "good book"or something. Can we just say that's messed up? We realize that even if our Doggie Mama's life depended on it she couldn't decide to choose between the four of us. There is no way she could decide as to which two of us would go on a boat ride with her.
See, part of the problem is that she tells each one of us that we are the #1 dog of the Aston pack.  She does this by secretly whispering into each of our mite-free little furry ears and says that we are her #1 doggie. It's the old Greek bait and switch routine. Between you and us, she's not as good of an actress as she thinks she is, because we know how she is playing one of us against the other.
We love each other and we want to stay together.  We're such a good little pack Cesar Millan would be proud of us.  We don't want the world to end. We don't want to be split up where two of us would go on the boat with Ava and the other two of us would be left behind.
Are we reading too much into these clues?
Woof  Woof,
Punkin, Itty Bitty, BoBo and Pookie
(left to right) :D 

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a great song title..!! ; )