Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Why Is May 21, 2011 Judgement Day

There are those on the fringe of Christianity who are trying to convince other Christians to believe in the May 21 Judgement Day. They say this will be the day of the Rapture and they will be leaving the world to go to heaven. I personally believe that no one knows the date of the real Judgment Day.
This is all based on when Noah built the Ark and all of the various biblical scriptures that talk about the day of Rapture coming exactly 7,000 years after the great flood. Although it is widely believed by religious scholars that the destruction of the flood happened in 4990 B.C. and 7,000 years from then it would be 2010...but don't get your religious pantaloons in a wad. The Greek girl has a background in accounting and I added this on my really cool electronic adding machine.  But you need to subtract a year in going from an Old testament calendar date to a New testament A.D. calendar date because the calendar does not have a zero year, it started with the year 1 A.D. so you really must subtract a year, which makes it 2011.
The theory goes on when you take a look at the biblical calendar and when the flood waters happened with Noah. The Flood started on the 17th day of the 2nd month in 4990 B.C. and May 21, 2011 happens to be the 17th day of the 2nd month, which is 7,000 years later (minus that one year thingy - according to the biblical calendar)
I'm kinda OK if May 21, 2011 is the judgement day. But I do have a few last-minute requests for God:
  • Can all of this happen on May 21 after 2:00pm EST. I have 2 shows in Media, PA early that afternoon for the Operation First Response: Walk For The Wounded  fund-raiser. I am hoping I can squeeze in a last few shows before, well you know...
  • (You can find out more about these shows by going to:  Ava's  May 21rst Shows) and no, I am not renaming the tour the "This Is It" tour.
  • Is there anyway I can get a record deal before the big shebang on May 21rst? I just want to see how it feels like not having to ask Mr. Bricks if he has gotten me a record deal yet.
  • Since we all will miss the season finale on Season 21 of the Biggest Loser which is scheduled to air a few days later on May 24, 2011, can you at least let us know who wins?  Maybe have the name or image appear of the winner appear in the form of clouds...just an idea, you can do it however you want. This is so awkward, I have seen television show finales be preempted by presidential speeches, breaking news of a car chase on the LA Freeway and a few other things, but never by the end of the world.
  • I assume since you let Noah take animals on his boat that I can take my 4 fur-babies with me....and please don't tell me there is a 2 animal limit, that is so 4990 B.C.. I am willing to pay extra to take all 4 with me. I will be flush with cash since I just did a big show that morning. I won't need the cash any longer since you know the golden rule about money - you can't take it with you.
  • Also, it takes a while for the Greek girl to decide what to wear. So can you kinda give me a heads up on the dress code in Heaven, that is assuming if that is where I am going. I am hoping I can just wear jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers. I want to be comfortable because I will be there for like an eternity! And no worries God, I will wear my white sneakers.
  • And finally, I really hope to see Mr. Bricks on May 22nd...but you never know. Santa Claus gave him a lump of coal in his Christmas sock last year, not sure if that was an omen or a fluke. Anyways, if I don't see Mr. Bricks wherever I go, could you please tell him he was an OK manager after all and I'm sorry for all of the Greek Wrath I put him through.
Oh, and God please tell all of my fans how much I love them and appreciated their support.


  1. Needs to be later than that as I have not seen you perform here on the west coast. Ask Him to make it right after that please ;)

  2. Also, how are the Mayans going to feel about Christians preempting their end of the world? Kinda hard to destroy something twice.