Monday, May 23, 2011

Life Without Oprah

Oprah Winfrey courtesy of
Oh great, I thought I was scheduled to be on Oprah on May 26th. I guess this means that I won't be on her show. No wonder my manager Mr. Bricks said he might be able to get me booked on her show at the end of May. He's always one taco short of a combination plate. I really need to make a management change. There is no doubt that Oprah Winfrey ending her talk show this week will be the dominant conversation in all of America, that's why I am blogging about it.
Whether you like her or hate her Oprah Winfrey has changed the way our country works. Just ask any author that Oprah has invited into the Oprah's Book Club. The mere mention of a book by the "Queen of Daytime" would mean instant success and credibility for the author.  So I was always wondering what would of happened if Oprah held up my "Gone"CD and said, "I just love the Greek girl, Y'all just need to go out and get this CD?" Well, now we will never know, will we?
It is a well known fact of just how influential Oprah's endorsement could be to a product or service. It was Oprah's massive viewing audience of 44 million people a week that "The Oprah Winfrey Show" reached that allowed her touch to be so golden. This golden touch was explained in the CNBC documentary  "The Oprah Effect." According to a CNBC website, The Oprah Effect, was an original CNBC special that was hosted by Carl Quintanilla that went inside businesses to explain Oprah's unparalleled impact on their bottom line, their secrets to getting on her show and how the so-called Oprah Effect continued to translate their brands and others into big business.
The Oprah effect seemed to work on everything from the previously mentioned Oprah's Book Club to the one product that is Mr. Bricks' secret to making him look slimmer, Spanx for Men - to the very yummo Garrett's Popcorn. Businesses large and small knew that there's no better advertising than the power of Oprah Winfrey. If you we're lucky enough to create a product that Oprah loved, a brief mention by her on her talk show could have made you a millionaire.
So my life long dreams of jumping up and down on Oprah's couch like Tom Cruise or having Oprah hold up one of my CD's on one day and then having it go platinum the next day are over. Wah, wah, wah poor little Greek girl.
My spanx loving manager Mr. Bricks is always the optimist. "Yes", he said "Oprah was stopping production on the Oprah Show, but just think Ava. She now started her own network, so I will just get you your own reality series on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network!" Let me guess Mr. Bricks, I will start work on the my new reality series when pigs fly, right?
So we all must now go on with our life without Oprah. We must now find our own "ah ha moments" or learning our own "life's lessons"....hey wait a minute....what about me becoming the Greek Queen of Daytime TV to replace the void Oprah Winfrey's absence will create on the television landscape. I can talk about my muckery, I can have fellow celebrity guests on the show talking about their muckery, I can also get a Noggin Doctor on the show to pretend to help people with their problems and I can give away Bumble Bee Camaros to the audience or take them all with me on a free trip to Greece. Of course we will have "Ava's Favorite things", I hope you like sneakers, chocolate and coffee - just sayin'

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