Sunday, May 8, 2011

Something In The Air

Have you ever had the feeling that your noggin is about to pop out of your skull? That's what this Greek blonde girl feels like right now and every allergy season. Thank goodness I don't have any shows this week. I'm highly allergic to three things

  1. Mr. Bricks' Muckery
  2. Pollen
  3. Poison Ivy/Oak

There's not enough medicines in the world I can take to do anything about #1, but thankfully there are pharmaceuticals that helps me with #2 and #3. Sometimes I think it might just be easier to take a drill bit and unclog my sinuses, but that might be a bit extreme. Beside, Greeks don't do good around blood.

I just need to remember that when I do take the annual pilgrimage to the local pharmacy for my typical go-to allergy meds like Sudafed and Allegra D, not to also buy Draino and Comet on the same shopping trip. Otherwise I will get a not so nice visit from the local DEA agents just making sure I'm not making meth in my bath tub. Good Gravy, what has this world come to.

Every year at this time when the pollen muckery hits the fan it is also the one time of the year I actually go to Costco. I am normally a Target type of shopping girl, but when my sinuses get all mucked up like this, you can't beat Costco's pallet with 500 boxes of tissues for $100. That's a bargain - just sayin'.

I think I also need a bubble. I can climb inside my bubble and wait out the pollen season. Inside the bubble I can also protect myself from the poison ivy, poison oak or Sumac - whatever the heck is going wild in my backyard. Not sure exactly what it is, but I know that I am allergic to it. It is so bad I think I can proclaim my backyard as the Poison Ivy Capital of New York. The minute I accidentally touch it, it spreads like wildfire all over my body. I get hives, red splotches and I blow up like balloon. It makes me look like Mr. Bricks' kid sister. And then when I work out I sweat and that doesn't help the cause, in fact it just helps it spread faster.

My nose is red and swollen, my eyes are all bugged out and my skin is all mucked up and Mr. Bricks just laughed and said I reminded him of Sleestaks from his favorite 1970's TV Show, Land of The Lost. I had no idea what he was talking about so he had me Google it. According to Wikipedia, Sleestaks were a devolved, green humanoids with both reptilian and insectoid features; they have scaly skin with frills around the neck, bulbous unblinking eyes, pincer-like hands, stubby tails, and a single blunt horn on top of the head. Yep, that petty much sums it up of what I look like.Thanks, Mr. Bricks.




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